THE UNWRITTEN RULES ABOUT EATING IN YOUR MID-THIRTIES
There are some unwritten rules when you hit your mid-30s, and one of them has to do with food and the consumption of said food. I know this because I broke it yesterday ... BIG TIME!
You see, ladies and gentlemen, apparently, you shouldn't eat fair food in any sort of quantity whatsoever unless you are bucking for a massive case of heartburn. Furthermore, you really shouldn't even try to inhale the fumes from a GIANT vat of grease where fries and onion rings find their culinary end.
No, no. You see, when you inhale those greasy fumes, you are further destroying the already thin lining of your mid-30s stomach (having thinned it out in your teens and 20s when you misguidedly thought you were indestructible).
I think the nausea I've had today from the Philly Cheese Steak sandwich and yellow sugar water they passed off as lemonade might just rival the hang-over experienced by one of the many, many college co-eds obtained when viewing the overly-anticipated, overly-hyped UK vs. U of L football game yesterday.
There aren't enough Tums in the world, people ...
You see, ladies and gentlemen, apparently, you shouldn't eat fair food in any sort of quantity whatsoever unless you are bucking for a massive case of heartburn. Furthermore, you really shouldn't even try to inhale the fumes from a GIANT vat of grease where fries and onion rings find their culinary end.
No, no. You see, when you inhale those greasy fumes, you are further destroying the already thin lining of your mid-30s stomach (having thinned it out in your teens and 20s when you misguidedly thought you were indestructible).
I think the nausea I've had today from the Philly Cheese Steak sandwich and yellow sugar water they passed off as lemonade might just rival the hang-over experienced by one of the many, many college co-eds obtained when viewing the overly-anticipated, overly-hyped UK vs. U of L football game yesterday.
There aren't enough Tums in the world, people ...
Comments
the desire for it to come back up was really great, however.
My apologies.
Please don't knock the things we love.