TAMING THE BEAST

I have just returned home from four days in the Mitten State.  It was good getting back there and having some time to hang with my family.  I love them dearly.  

When my sister and I arrived on Thursday evening after a loooooong drive north (made longer by my failure in following the KY Transportation Cabinet's alert regarding the I65 Bridge repair....shoulda ignored that one!), we were greeted by the amazing smell of a roast in the crock pot.  Roast, fresh corn, and salad.  It was a wonderful meal.  One of the most nutritious, solid meals I've eaten in a while.  

That meal was followed by Friday night's meal: Parmesan encrusted tilapia, mashed potatoes, green beans, and coleslaw.  Oh my goodness!  Food nirvana!

My mother is an amazing cook. She's honed her craft over a looooooong period of time, and there is very, rarely a meal she cooks that I don't like ... okay, I am not a fan of her chipped beef on toast or her stuffed peppers, but then, I am not a fan of those things period. 

As I wondered through my kitchen this morning, looking for something edible for breakfast and trying to find my coffee bean grinder, pushed back in the dark recesses of my cabinets, I wondered at the why  of these two things:

A.) Why do I never grind my own coffee anymore.  It tastes so much better that way, 

and 

B.) Why do I not bother to make myself a balanced meal like mom always does?

I've come to a conclusion.  I don't take the time to do that.  I am too busy, and so I fall on the sword of convenience. Y'all, I have fallen prey to the Convenience Monster [insert scary music here!].  Only convenience isn't as yummy or as satisfying or fulfilling or as healthy.

Why is it that we women don't want to take the time to do something nice for ourselves?  Listen, I get it.  We lead very, very busy lives.  And I don't even have children ... well, unless you count the 21 I hang with for 7 hours of the day for five days a week and then the furry, four-legged one I must deal with when I get home from the 21 I hung out with earlier.  

Yet, even I fall into that need to ignore myself and my body's needs over just getting through another evening without crashing headlong into a plate of precooked meat product.  It is ugly people!  Darn.  Right.  Ugly.  

I am on the second week of Fall Break.  I have a perspective that is radically different than say the second month of an academic quarter.  The perspective is called "I am cleaning and organizing" and oh, yeah, it's also called "getting a good night's sleep."  I found a photo of me during a period of time that I felt the most pretty (???), desirable (???).  I was much thinner and much more concerned with making balanced meals.  Aaahhh, life was simpler then.  If only I could have a chat with my young twenty-something self.  Warned her, perhaps about the pitfalls of my 30s ... 

But looking at that photo has provided myself with another healthy dose of perspective that I've needed to allow myself some luxuries.  Freshly ground coffee ... baths ... wine and conversation with friends ... a good book into the wee hours of the morning ... sunsets and long walks on the beach (this one might be slightly cliche, but dude!  I totally LOVE sunsets and long walks along the beach!) ... those things that really blow my dress up ... well, so to speak.

I am attempting to figure out how to release the Convenience Beast.  I have to.  There's too much living I need to do.  I need to grab life by the horns and ride it like a boss.  I mean, if I'm going to wrestle anything, it should be a life well-lived, right?