THE SAGA OF THE FINGERPRINTS
My fingerprints have become the bane of my existence! I'm sitting here looking at them and wondering what they really are good for ... surely, not for garnering a job. Case in point ...
This morning, I went to a local county Intermediate School District to figure out this whole "we don't have your fingerprints so you can't sub for us" thing. I carried with me the brand-spanking-new plastic laminated card from the state of Arizona that says the aforementioned fringerprints have been cleared by the FBI along with a corresponding letter ... you, too, can have one of these nifty cards ... for a cool $62!
I marched into the office and presented the gathered information. The human resources specialist examines that pretty card, says neato and then, "the state of Michigan will not recognize it because it didn't originate in Michigan."
"Ahh, yes, but," I replied, "it was cleared by the FBI. So, it was a national search. In otherwords, they have found that I've committed absolutely no crimes in any of the 50 states or US territories (other than the ugly speeding incident in Louisville this summer) and am cleared to work. The FBI says so."
At this moment, the HR specialist clears her throat uncomfortably. "Yes, well, the state of Michigan won't recognize a fingerprint clearance unless it's been done by the MI State Police."
"But, it was done by the FBI!" I try not to shriek. "FBI trumps the State Police, right?"
"Umm, yes, it does, but the new law just passed by the Michigan legislatures says they won't recognize anything that hasn't been passed by the State police."
"But doesn't the FBI trump our state legislature also?"
"Well, in theory ..."
"IN THEORY!!?!?!? I am in the United States, right? I didn't take a wrong turn somewhere, did I"
"No, so, anyway, back to the fingerprints, um, you can get them redone for $70."
"So, this is just a really overpriced piece of plastic I'm holding right now," said as I wave the Arizona Fingerprint Clearance card in the air.
"Well, umm, yes."
"And you understand the whole reason I'm here is that I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY for essential things like groceries let alone the umpteenth fingerprinting session!?"
"Well, ummm ..."
Unbelieveable!
So, I've lost count as to how many times I've actually had my fingerprints done in the last 6 months ... and I'm beginning to think that the fingerprint gods have it in for me. I don't think these dang things would do anything for me ... unless of course I robbed a bank out of desperation! Then, all of sudden, my fingerprints MIGHT be useful!
This morning, I went to a local county Intermediate School District to figure out this whole "we don't have your fingerprints so you can't sub for us" thing. I carried with me the brand-spanking-new plastic laminated card from the state of Arizona that says the aforementioned fringerprints have been cleared by the FBI along with a corresponding letter ... you, too, can have one of these nifty cards ... for a cool $62!
I marched into the office and presented the gathered information. The human resources specialist examines that pretty card, says neato and then, "the state of Michigan will not recognize it because it didn't originate in Michigan."
"Ahh, yes, but," I replied, "it was cleared by the FBI. So, it was a national search. In otherwords, they have found that I've committed absolutely no crimes in any of the 50 states or US territories (other than the ugly speeding incident in Louisville this summer) and am cleared to work. The FBI says so."
At this moment, the HR specialist clears her throat uncomfortably. "Yes, well, the state of Michigan won't recognize a fingerprint clearance unless it's been done by the MI State Police."
"But, it was done by the FBI!" I try not to shriek. "FBI trumps the State Police, right?"
"Umm, yes, it does, but the new law just passed by the Michigan legislatures says they won't recognize anything that hasn't been passed by the State police."
"But doesn't the FBI trump our state legislature also?"
"Well, in theory ..."
"IN THEORY!!?!?!? I am in the United States, right? I didn't take a wrong turn somewhere, did I"
"No, so, anyway, back to the fingerprints, um, you can get them redone for $70."
"So, this is just a really overpriced piece of plastic I'm holding right now," said as I wave the Arizona Fingerprint Clearance card in the air.
"Well, umm, yes."
"And you understand the whole reason I'm here is that I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY for essential things like groceries let alone the umpteenth fingerprinting session!?"
"Well, ummm ..."
Unbelieveable!
So, I've lost count as to how many times I've actually had my fingerprints done in the last 6 months ... and I'm beginning to think that the fingerprint gods have it in for me. I don't think these dang things would do anything for me ... unless of course I robbed a bank out of desperation! Then, all of sudden, my fingerprints MIGHT be useful!
Comments