SISTERLY LOVE

My sister is very sensitive to smells. Scene set up ... sitting in her car after a day of shopping. I've just opened a bottle of Grapefruit Burst Flavored water.

Sister: I smell cat pee.
Me: It's not me.
Sister: I didn't say it was you.
Me: [sipping more beverage]
Sister: I smell cat pee! Man! Can't you smell it?
Me: It's not me.
Sister: [now annoyed] I didn't say it was you.
Me: [taking another sip]
Sister: It's cat pee! I can smell it.
Me: It's not me.
Sister: STOP SAYING THAT!!!
Me: [taking another sip of beverage]
Sister: It's your drink! You're drink smells like cat pee!
Me: [heavy sigh]
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Sitting in my sister's car trying to figure how we both spent so much money on groceries.

Sister: Well, I know what sent me over the edge. My vitamins.
Me: [Reviewing my grocery list] $64! What did I buy!?
Sister: Yep, those vitamins ... but they'll last a while.
Me: Hairy Gimp!? What the heck is hair gimp?
Sister: [Chuckles softly at me]
Me: I did not buy hairy gimp!
Sister: [Still laughing]
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Sitting in a bookstore/coffeehouse one recent Friday night, listening to a jazzy/bluesy trio just kick butt all over the place.

Me: [sipping spiced chai, totally wrapped up in the music]
Sister: I smell feet.
Me: [rolling eyes at my sister]
Sister: I'm serious. I think they're yours.
Me: They are not my feet.
Sister: You're boots ... those things need to be sprayed.
Me: They are not my feet.
Sister: I'm telling you. I smell feet!
Me: Maybe they are your feet you smell.
Sister: [rolling her eyes] Highly doubt it.
Me: [through clenched teeth] My feet don't stink!
Sister: I smell feet.
Me: [thinking to myself] We're in a room full of people, I don't doubt you do!