Monday, September 26, 2011

I Live with a Poltergeist--Her Name is Emmy

If you'd asked me this morning, say about 5:22 or 5:23 a.m., whether or not I lived in a haunted house, I would have, unequivocally, answered YES!  I was convinced I lived in a house with the supernatural.

You see, at 2:30 a.m., I was jarred awake by a quiet conversation in my living room.  To say I almost simultaneously pooped and peed my pants would be the understatement of the century!  The longer I laid there, the more I realized that a man and a woman were talking in my living room, with a light on, no less!

I finally screwed up the nerve to go out into the living room only to discover that my television was on.  I knew I'd turned the TV off before I went to bed.  POSITIVE OF IT.  And yet, there it was, a gal and guy chatting up hair products. I couldn't figure it out, but I was sure Emmy had nothing to do with it, as she was sprawled out at the foot of my bed looking all "What?  What's the big rush in the kitchen?"

It took me a while to get back to sleep, what with the imminent danger that a rogue ghost interested in late night infomercials posed.

Five o'clock came very soon after, and as I stumbled to the kitchen to make my coffee, I was still trying to make sense of the television issues of a few hour earlier, when I was startled awake once again ... this time by the finding Pinky the toy mouse, who is more gray and FILTHY, than pink these days.  What was most startling was not his actual presence, but rather the space in which he took up ... on the COUNTER TOP next to my coffeemaker.  Besides the fact that Pinky is, have I mentioned this already, FILTHY, he was on my counter top!  He belongs on the floor ... not on the counter.  How in the world?!

Emmy the Cat ... that's the only poltergeist-like being in this house. She sleeps all day, and so her energy level is waaaay up at night, which is when, I suspect, she rip-snorted through the living room, hitting the remote and turning the television on.  Then, she went into the kitchen, somehow managed to get Pinky on the counter -- I shudder to think how that happened -- and booked it to my room, sprawled out on the foot of the bed, acting like nothing ever happened.

And I wonder why I'm in a constant state of perpetual exhaustion ....

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