Saturday, December 31, 2005

ON THE EVE OF ANOTHER DAY

And not just any day, but the eve of a new day in a new year.

I stink at making resolutions. I never complete them. So, this year, I thought I would make a list of all the things I'm not going to do in 2006. Is it a shameless attempt to apply reverse psychology? Oh who knows! But it sure is better than making those stupid resolutions. :)

So, here goes ...
  1. I'm not going to fling my heart at anyone of the opposite sex ... anymore! Ever! Nope! This girl's heart is staying safely locked in an undisclosed location. If someone of the opposite sex wants it, they will need access to night vision goggles and a very sophisticated GPS system to find it! Rejection? WHO NEEDS IT!
  2. I'm not going to get organized. I can never find anything when I organize!
  3. I will try hard not to allow my personal spending in Starbucks to increase their stock values. I need to pinch those pennies!
  4. I will strive to reduce personal waste, and, as a result, I will not allow an unearthly number of "science projects" to accumulate in my fridge!
  5. I will no longer kiss my dog in public. I'm told it gives off the wrong vibe ... whatever!
  6. I will not allow nay-sayers to pooh on my parade! It's MY parade, after all!
  7. I will no longer live my life with regrets ... scars, bumps, bruises, scraps and scratches? Well, yes, maybe, but no regrets!
  8. I will no longer try to live with resolutions ... they are useless!

HAPPY 2006!

Friday, December 30, 2005

PATIENCE ... WHO NEEDS IT?

I'm not a patient person. Anyone who knows me even the least little bit would tell you it's true.

"Megan? Patient? HA!!! Yeah, right ... hey! Look!
I think I just saw a cow fly by!"

By nature, I'm a drive thru window kinda girl. Drive up to the speaker, place my order with the nice voice on the other end, drive to the window, and take my order, squealing my tires as I go. Please do not ask me to wait for anything.

In literature, the critical reader is asked to look for a character's fatal flaw ... that one piece in a person's DNA that causes them to fall and fall hard. If anyone reading my life story were asked to look for my fatal flaw, well, sadly, I think they would have no problem coming up with IMPATIENCE!

I suppose this is the exact reason why God tests us using our fatal flaws. I long ago gave up the immature argument that it was for His personal entertainment. No, I've matured enough in my faith to recognize that this is a refining process ... like a refiner's fire. He's the refiner, and He's desperately trying to redefine my fatal flaw.

Stupid thing is, I'm too stubborn to let it go. And this is really the bigger question ... why can't I let it go? Possibly, because I'm a control freak. Great! Another fatal flaw. Is it possible for the main character to have more than one fatal flaw?

It's a good thing that God's in control of this whole refining process. I'm so impatient, I would have given up on me ages ago!






Thursday, December 29, 2005

WAXING NOSTALGIC

Another year is almost complete ... hardly seems possible. (I lightly pat myself to see if I'm intact.)

Yep! Everything important is here. Must be I've survived 2005 ...

My motto for the year should be ALIVE IN 2005 or maybe SURVIVED 2005!

Things I've learned in 2005:
  1. Unemployment is not for the faint of heart.
  2. You must find adventure. Adventure isn't going to come looking for you.
  3. Third graders are VERY insightful, and theyABSOLUTELY have the ability to rock their worlds!
  4. Putting yourself out there is a scary prospect.
  5. Offering your heart is an even scarier prospect ... and much more daring.
  6. Poison Oak DOES spread.
  7. Emergency rooms ARE NOT all alike.
  8. Beagles are a study in persistence. You will eventually catch a mole!
  9. Broken hearts do heal, but the scars always hurt.
  10. The proverb was right ... Pride does go before a fall.
  11. Never, ever speed in Louisville, KY.
  12. When the going gets rough ... well, let's just say, you quickly discover who your true friends are.
  13. There is such a thing as a SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED CAT.
  14. Thinking outside of the box can be very dangerous.
  15. You can teach an old dog new tricks.
  16. Just when you think nothing more can surprise you ... humanity finds a new low.
  17. God's plan is so much better than anything I could cook up for myself.
  18. The boy scouts had something when they coined the phrase "ALWAYS BE PREPARED."
  19. You're never too young to plan for the future.
  20. You're never too old to plan for the future.
  21. Saying goodbye NEVER gets easier.
  22. Saying hello can be just as difficult.
  23. Fingerprints are a not all they're cracked up to be.
  24. Depression ain't for sissies!
  25. It is possible to shed tears that would come close to equaling your body weight.

As I stare 2006 in the face, I'm struck by the absolute uncertainity of what lays ahead of me. I could very well be winging my way to the great wild west. But then, again, as history has proved, I could be sitting in this exact spot this time next year. Who really knows!

Buckle up. Sit back. Brace yourself, cuz it's going to get bumpy! The exits are here, here, here and here. Keep all hands, feet, arms and legs inside the car at all times. ENJOY THE RIDE!

Monday, October 10, 2005

UNEMPLOYMENT ... NOT ALL IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE

It has been so long since I've written anything in here; I almost forgot how to do it! :)

It has been a crazy, insane, depressing, scary, laughable summer, and it seems all those adjectives (and more) have followed me into the fall. I am still unemployed ... sort of ... more on that later. And I must tell you, unemployment is not all it's cracked up to be.

You always hear stories of people that manipulate the system to get unemployment. I'm not sure why! I have gone absolutely stir-crazy staring at the same four walls! After you've cleaned everything there is to clean, organized everything there is to organize, and you really have no place to go ... what does a person do??

Soap operas ... I'm not sure how people watch them all day. I want to reach into the television and shake all of their misguided, unrealistic necks. Do they not get reality???

I need to be working. Don't get me wrong, I love a break like anyone would, but this four month break was long enough for me.

Things I hate about being unemployed:
1. Worrying about money
2. Bills I can't pay
3. Having friends offer to take you out because you can't afford to do that on your own
4. Worrying about money
5. The uncertainity of the future
6. Worrying about money

... Do you see a pattern here?

The other part of the whole thing is that I've come to realize that I really am wired to be a teacher. It's in my blood, if you will allow me a little cheese for a moment. :) I feel most comfortable teaching. I LOVE IT!!! So, this whole "not being employed" thing has really rocked my little world.

I now understand why people who become unemployed sink into depression. Is it any wonder? You suddenly feel unwanted, rejected, not worthy, not up to par ... fill in the blank.

Being unemployed sucks!

I said I was still unemployed, sort of ... well, I'm in the beginning days of a six-week long-term substitute position. It's been a wonderful experience so far, and I'm in my element. Yes, I'm having fun! It makes me even more resolute to find a job for next term!

More to come later ...

Saturday, April 23, 2005

ON BEING LAID OFF ...

Well, it happened again. Last night, I reached into my mailbox and pulled out a "SORRY TO INFORM YOU, BUT YOU'VE BEEN LAID OFF" letter. Yep. It's official, or so the letter says.

This isn't the first time I've been laid off, officially or otherwise. Two years ago, I got the big heave-ho. Officially, I got it once. Unofficially, I got laid off three times ... in one instance, it happened twice in one day.

So, I guess you could say that I'm a veteran at this. I know that I get to keep my insurance for awhile longer, and I understand the quickening heart rate the closer I get to that cut off. I also know all about the sinking feelings you get every time you get a "Dear John" letter from a school district. I also know that, no matter how hard you cry to the staffer for your local state representative, you still won't be able to talk to a real person at the umemployment office! Yep, I've got it all down cold.

This time, however, it's going to be different. I'm approaching it differently. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to get down. I'm looking at this as an adventure, and quite frankly, I'm overdue for an adventure ... WAAAAAY overdue.

So, the resume is done, and the skeleton cover letter will be complete later on this evening. That leaves only the teacher portfolio to finish revising ... then the real work begins.

Buckle your seatbelts; it's going to be a wild ride!

Monday, April 11, 2005

WE ALL HAVE OUR MOMENTS

Sometimes, I'm so proud of my students ... I can feel my chest puff out, and, for an instant, I can relate to feeling of buttons bursting off my shirt! Then there are other days that I just could wash my hands of them all. Today was just such a day ...

No one followed directions. No one obeyed the rules of polite, kind behavior. No one gave their all ... no one came close to doing their best. And, I suppose, you could include me in on that one too. My students feed off of me, and I was in a terrible mood when I walked into the room this morning. I hate when that happens! I set the tone for the day, and they followed suit by being as hideous as they could possibly be.

13 1/2 more days ...

Sunday, April 10, 2005

POETRY ... SELF-DISCOVERY

I was intimidated by poetry when I was younger. I suppose that's because I wasn't sure how to tackle it or where the author wanted me to seek true meaning.

I guess that's why I decided this year to really spend a lot of time exposing my students to poetry. I didn't want my students to feel incapable of working through a piece of poetry ... to be scared by it. We've studied some wonderful poems, and I tapped into quite a few that I knew they would have immediate connections with ... poets like Kenn Nesbitt and Shel Silverstein. It's been a great year of connecting to the literature and synthesizing and analyzing ...

But here's the really funny thing ... while attempting to help my students become poetry-savvy, I've learned an amazing amount myself! Ironic, isn't it? You set out to educate someone, and you end up educating yourself in the process.

Discovery is an amazingly powerful tool, and one I want to keep at a ready grasp. I want to always have that innate desire to learn and grow ... that feeling deep within that guides me forward to uncover new things. I suppose when that feeling wanes, it's a good indication that life is beginning to wind down.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

A TEACHER'S FIRST BLOG -- APRIL 9, 2005

So, I'm new to this whole blogging thing ... wasn't sure what it was at first, but I'm obsessed with writing, and I was intrigued by this new venue in which to write. So I thought I would give it a try ... and here I am ...

I'm a teacher ... a third grade teacher. I came into this profession later in life ... well, not completely late in life. I started my first job at 29 years of age. I was a late bloomer, you could say. It took me six years to find my current passion (beyond writing), and I have to say, it was worth every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears (lots of tears) to get to this point. I LOVE teaching. Grant it, teaching provides its own heavy dose of blood, sweat, and tears -- sometimes I feel like I'm in the deep trenches doing hand to hand combat and getting no where fast -- but I can't imagine any other job that's more fulfilling.

I'm looking at the last nine weeks of my third year. I have had some monumental ups and tremendous downs. Coming off of an incredibly beautiful spring break week, I'm sitting here wondering what these final nine weeks will be like. What kind of development will I see in my students? What sort of leaps and bounds will be made? What kind of development will I see in myself? What sort of leaps and bounds will I make?

So, I'm thinking this is an evolving medium, but I kind of imagine this being the spot that I can post my feelings, gripes, whines, victories, triumphs from my teaching day ... a diary of a teacher, so to speak.

Enjoy ... and welcome to my world!