Saturday, May 31, 2008

RESCUE ME, PLEASE

In honor of some terrific behavior, et., al., almost our entire student body was treated to a hot dog picnic and pool party at one of our local public pools. It is THE event of the year. The kids yap about it for months, whereas we teachers begin to get a feeling of dread and trepidation at that thought of 250 + children in and near water. Just to give you an idea, we are talking about Kindergarten through 6th grade!

Yeah, those of you with kids right now, I know your stomachs are turning! Am I right???

But that's not the point of my blog.

The point of this particular blog was one particular life guard watching over all of our precious commodities in the pool. Cindy and I guessed his age to be about 18 to 20, which automatically puts me in the "dirty old woman" category.

I said to Cindy and Christy, "If I were sixteen, and I'm choosing sixteen, because I could wear a bikini then, but I if I were sixteen, I would totally position my beach chair in such a way that I would be able to watch him all day long."

"Uh-huh," Cindy smiles

"I would slather on sunscreen all provocatively too."

Uh-huh," Cindy smiled.

"I wonder," I said aloud, "if I jump into the pool right now, he'd have to come save me, right?"

Christy and Cindy agreed this would have to occur per his job description.

"Well, I'd totally let him molest me a bit while trying to save me."

"Yeah," Cindy laughed. "That definitely puts you into the dirty old woman category!"


OOPS

Our entire school went to an all-day pool party yesterday at the local public pool. I dutifully smeared sunscreen on almost every part of my body ... forgot this one little section. Think it's super obvious???

Friday, May 30, 2008

PANTIES RATHER THAN SUGAR

By the looks of things, I may be buying panties in bulk rather than eating to assuage my emotions! I may just need another dresser for all the drawers I'm fixin' to buy!

Reference FEELING BETTER ABOUT LIFE written on May 29, 2008

HAVING A MOMENT WITH INDIANA JONES

So, I finally went to see the new Indiana Jones flick, and I'm glad to say that it did not disappoint.

Action ... intrigue ... Indiana Jones ... action ... the Fedora ... action ... the Whip ... action ... the Theme music .... Indiana Jones ...

From the moment I saw RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, I fell in love with Indy, his witty banter and that way cool fedora! I loved the humor Lucas and Speilberg intertwined into the movies, and I loved the outrageous adventures that Indiana went galloping off on. Sometimes, movies should just allow you to escape, and this week, I've needed an escape!

At one point in the movie, Christy leaned over and said, "Oooo, that's not very realistic."

Yep! She was right. None of it was very realistic, but as I told her as we were leaving the theatre, "That's a fantasy world I'm willing to jump into!"

Just because it's Indiana Jones, and for no other reason, I'm giving this movie an A.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

FEELING BETTER ABOUT LIFE

Amazing what a good night's sleep and a cute pair of underwear will do for a girl's outlook on life!

I am feeling much better about humanity in general this morning, and I'm blaming it all on my panties!

Christy says whenever she's feeling down, she goes out and buys a pair of cute panties.

I thought I'd try it, since it's got to be better than shoving something sugary and bad for me in my mouth!

I wonder though ... does it count if you buy the panties in packages ... sort of like in bulk?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

GIVING UP CATTY FOR LENT

Okay, yes, I do realize Lent is over ... way over ... as in a few months past us.

Call me a late bloomer.

However, I plan to give up being catty (is that how you spell it??) for Lent. It's getting me into a lot of trouble, and it's not making me feel any better about myself or those around me. So, I'm giving it up.

This only means that more and more people will find new and amazing ways to annoy the crap out of me.

In a way, I'm setting myself up. It's sort of like praying for patience ... you just shouldn't do it!


WHAT I DID OVER MY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND



So, I moved some things around in my living room/dining room combo, and it's actually given me a bit more room. Be impressed, because this took me a while to do ... I'm sure it had nothing to do with the piles and piles of magazines I had lying around ... Also, Carrie, you will be happy to note that the stairs are now completely devoid of any professional books whatsoever. I know, I know, you're seriously impressed!


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

FEELS LIKE A MONDAY TO ME

Don't get me wrong. I don't need another Monday. Really! I sort of dislike them. However, I have run around all day today thinking it was Monday. This will mess with my mind the rest of the week, but on the plus side, Friday will come that much faster and be that much more of a pleasant surprise when it does finally arrive. The down side, of course, is that the weekend will seem shorter, but the other plus side is that we'll only have that one week left of school ... and you see how this random mind works, right? All "snow ball down a hill" like ...

But this whole "thinking it's Monday when it's really not" deal ... this has just caused me to be even more random than normal, and for those of you who know me well, know that randomness is pretty much part of my DNA code. I reference the last sentence in the above paragraph for those that are slightly confused!

So, I made potato salad for a dinner thing I've got to go to this evening. It's a family recipe ... it's a Murray family favorite. The whole lot of us could sit down and devour an entire bowl of the stuff, it's that good. It's 80 degrees ... it's the day after Memorial Day ... it's officially summertime! So, I'm thinking that potato salad is the perfect thing to bring to this little shin-dig. Except that when I get it done, it doesn't look anything like mom's, and in case you are wondering, "looking like mom's," "tasting like mom's," "acting remotely like mom's," "resembles mom's in the slightest bit," these are all the litmus test of whether something is good or not. I immediately panic because my potato salad doesn't look anything like mom's. Great! It's going to taste like crap! Okay, so it might not have helped that I put boiling hot potatoes into the mixture, thus melting cottage cheese, if it's possible to do so ... and, at this point, my mother is rubbing her temples and trying to remember why she even attempted to show me how to cook. Patience ... that's what she's muttering under her breath as she reads this ... right now ... I swear that's what she's doing at this very moment.

So, that seems pretty appropriate since I'm still annoyed with this bum knee of mine. I was feeling pretty encouraged this morning because I didn't have any pain so maybe, just maybe, I didn't make an entire mess of Michael the PT's work when I fell down the stairs this past weekend. Then I got up from sitting mid-morning, and that old familiar pain started in again.
DANG IT!!!

Explain to me why we need knees again? Because maybe I could just get away with one ....

Today at recess, two of my colleagues were talking about men they dated this weekend, and I am standing there trying to figure out two things:
1.) At what point Angus* will stop jumping out of the swing even though I've yelled at him to stop more times than I can now count ...

and

2.) Where and how are they meeting these guys, because the last time I looked, the UPS guy wasn't dropping them off at my doorstep, and that's the only way I can think of to meet them because I'm not meeting them any other way ...

Which launches me into a startling realization, I am surrounded by children and old people! There's no in between.

You think I'm joking?

Case in point, today I went from a room full of 4th graders who are still picking at every open orifice in their bodies, and not only that, but pulling stuff from said orifice, to the post office. Surely, I, single girl, could meet a nice guy in the line at the post office.

Nope!

Old men! And by old, I mean, past their expiration date old ... way past ... and get this! They are also picking at any open orifice on their bodies and pulling stuff from them! To make matters worse, I realized that I walk like these old men! We are all standing in line at the post office with bad knees.

I've come to a certain conclusion.

At some point, I took a wrong turn in my life ...

That's the only way to explain it ...


THINGS I'M TOTALLY DIGGING


Over the weekend I found two of these ICE TEA GLASSES!! A bargain at $12 total ... I'm very excited!!! I'm up to 8 pieces collected, and I just think it'd be a total gas if I could find plates with this stuff on it. However, probably not very easy to clean off ...

Monday, May 26, 2008

WELCOME SUMMER!

In Michigan, Memorial Day Weekend is the official start of summer. People go to nurseries around the state to start planting their flower beds and vegetable gardens, and many, many more head northward for camping and a generally great time in the north woods!

The thing I have missed the most about moving away from Michigan is being away from Up North. I spent every summer for 30 years Up North ... it's a part of who I am. When I think about it, I get extremely nostalgic and wonder if I will ever make it back up there. That thought makes me sad ...

But being that it's Memorial Day, and being that I am feeling a bit nostalgic for Michigan's Up North, I decided to get on the Mackinac Bridge Web Cam to see how the Straits of Mackinac are fairing today.

Take a look for yourself. The Straits are socked in!

http://www.mackinacbridge.org/bridge-cam-20/
http://www.hornsbar.com/webcamlarge.htm

Ahh! I remember a good fog you needed a knife to cut through there on the Straits. Nothing is more unnerving than not being able to see a thing, but hearing the forlorn moan of a distant buoy warning ships of impending doom. Talk about dramatic ...

But that is what the Straits are ... they are nothing if not dramatic! That's part of it's charm ... it's melodramatic nature. That is what I miss about it most!

Never the less, welcome summer. Welcome! I hope it will be another wild and woolly time!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

WHAT GOES UP, MUST COME DOWN

I fell down the stairs last night. Not ALL the way down the stairs, just about five or six stairs.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "she is a walking disaster," and really, I'm beginning to believe that myself!

As I'm falling, I'm thinking to myself, "Michael the PT is going to die a thousand deaths when next I see him if I screw this knee up any more than it already is."


I'm not sure what, if anything, I've done to my knee. It was sore when I got up this morning, but it's sore every morning. So, who really knows.

I do know that I banged the crap out of my left forearm.

Seriously folks. I think it's time I begin to live in a bubble!

THINGS I'M TOTALLY DIGGING

I LOVE this tee from Old Navy. You can't tell it by the angle I shot this photo from, but the shirt actually accentuates your natural curves. Baby! I've got curves, so I'm actually loving what it does for them. Plus, this color is killer on me, if I do say so myself!

I am LOVING these two items. First of all, I HATE an eyeliner that feels like you have to chisel away a portion of your eye lid to get the stupid stuff on. Not so with this eyeliner. It glides on so nicely, has a built in sharpener, and a built in smudger. How cool is that? In case you weren't sure, that's very cool! The mascara is smudge-proof but not waterproof (I HATE waterproof mascara). It goes on well, without clumping, and makes my poor little eyelashes look really full. I'm totally digging this mascara!


I'm going green! These are my "green" grocery bags, and the best thing about it is I no longer have the BAZILLION and ONE plastic grocery bags all over the place. Don't get me wrong. I recycled those, but I had no where to store them in my compact living space. The pink bag ... the money I used to purchase that one goes toward breast cancer research. Now how cool is that!?

Friday, May 23, 2008

KNEE UPDATE ... FOR THE THREE PEOPLE THAT CARE

Because I'm on my feet all day, and because I'm up and down stairs all day long (both here and at school), Michael, my physical therapist, suggested I brace the knee. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ....

THE BRACE.

Notice how the knee is just sort of oozing out of the knee hole? Yeah ... Michael the PT said, "you've got a lot of inflammation in there. How long has this been going on?"
OKAY, YES! I'VE WALKED ON IT SINCE OCTOBER!!!


I'm referring to it in all caps because
THE BRACE really should have its own room ... THE BRACE should have its own bed ... THE BRACE should eat its meals with me ... and sip champagne every night. Because that's how much it cost ... it cost about as much as dinner out with a real, live man. I've decided to date my knee brace!

But I've got to say it, Michael the PT is a great guy. I love that he listens to all my random streams of consciousness with patience and a smile on his face, becasue let's face it folks. After I've spent an entire day with 17 fourth graders that "CAN'T WAIT BECAUSE THERE ARE ONLY 9 DAYS LEFT UNTIL SUMMER BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND OH MY GOSH THEIR HEADS ARE ALL GOING TO COLLECTIVELY IMPLODE,"
Michael the PT has the patience of Job. I usually ramble for five minutes about why I like dark chocolate more than milk chocolate before finally getting around to answering the question he's asked ... a question having nothing to do with chocolate, by the way. That's just how tired I am ....

Cindy, my new 4th grade teammate for next year, was feeling my legs at Erin's baby shower the other day (there's a back story there, but I'm too tired to fill in the blanks ... so I'm leaving you to wonder about that one), and she huffed, "You're legs are so smooth. You shaved today."

"Ummm, yeah, listen! I've got to flop that big, flabby hammock on a PT table 3 days out 5, and
Michael the PT has got his hands all over it. There is no way I'm going in there all stubbly and gross!"

"Good point," Cindy replied.

So,
Michael the PT can thank his lucky stars that he doesn't have stubble to contend with. Is it not enough he broke a sweat wrestling THE BRACE on my leg the other day?!?!


WHAT CAN I DO TO YOU?

Whenever I call home and my dad answers, he always says, without fail, "Helloooooo Kentucky! What can I do to you?"

I always chuckle and reply, "Well, Papa, you've done so much to me already!"

It's our thing ... it's our bit.

Well, today, dad, I can honestly say, you have indeed DONE too much. Mom .... Dad .... thanks for the DNA ...

I went for my follow-up visit to the allergist, because, apparently the first time around when the nurse was setting my back on fire with every possible allergen known to man, wasn't enough fun. She wanted to do it again.

The final result ....

I'm pretty much allergic to the ENTIRE state of Kentucky. Period. End. of. story.

Dr. G sat there shaking his head, and he's an allergist! It's what he does for a living! It's what he spent like 8 years past college studying for! He gets paid by my insurance company to deal with these sorts of things ... and he acted dumb-founded.

Dude! Have you never shaken the hand of a runny-nosed, snot-filled human bag of allergic DNA?

Well, allow me to introduce myself!

He pulled out a list to give me so I would have it in black and white ... further proof that I need to start living in a plastic bubble.

Each time he circled a new item, he just shook his head.

I'm blessed ... came by it naturally ... Dr. G., if you only knew the allergies that float between the two sets of familial camps. It's a cesspool of petri dish heaven, I'm telling you!

THE LIST
... a thing of beauty ....

cat dander (terribly allergic)
dog dander
house dust/mites
grass pollens
ragweed
cocklebur
chenopodium (commonly known as goosefoots)
kochia (green molly)
marshelder (relative of ragweed)
pigweed (this is an umbrella name for Rose Moss ... ACK!! I LOVE ROSE MOSS!!! Stupid allergies!)
plantain
sheep sorrel
mold and mildew spores (terribly allergic)
alder trees
ash trees
cedar trees
poplar trees
elm trees
hickory trees
birch trees
locust trees
willow trees
oak trees

The good news is that I'm not allergic to sagebrush!

Whew! Now, that's definitely a load off ...




Tuesday, May 20, 2008

SQUINTING KNEE CAPS

My knee caps squint. Bet you didn't know knee caps could do that, right?

Well, mine can. Aren't I special?

I found this out yesterday at my first physical therapy appointment. Seems my knee caps move way too much, and, instead of pointing straight ahead like normal knee caps, mine point toward each other, as though they are cross-eyed.

"The good news is," my way cool PT Michael explained to me, "is that we can fix this problem. You just need to exercise your quads."

Well, I'm all about exercising my quads if the end result will be that I have less bulk in the quad muscles than I'm starting out with ... and I'm starting out with A LOT!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

HOSTS WITH THE MOST




These guys hosted the guests for their house's tour. I fell in love with them!

IF THOSE WALLS COULD TALK

PEONIES

ISN'T IT LOVER-LY?

I've just spent a splendidly wonderful day at the Frankfort Home and Garden Tour, and I did it quite by accident!

Huh?


Well, I'd read in the paper the other day that the Garden Club would have vendors at Liberty Hall ... vendors vending ... selling wares. I love to look at wares!! I love dreaming of buying all those wares ... it's a sickness, I know.

And occasionally, I don't pay attention to stuff. I know, you're shocked, but it's true. Sometimes, I don't read all of the fine print ... or the even the bold print. Sometimes, I've just got so much going on upstairs, that I miss some details that, in hindsight, might a tad on the important side.

So it was when I read the little article about the garden vendors. I missed the part about needing a ticket ... and that the ticket cost money ... as in green, paper tender.

So, $15 later, I found myself wandering through historical homes and gardens and just loving the fact that it was a gorgeous day, and I was meeting people I didn't have a clue about prior to my $15 blunder ... and I was seeing places in my new home that, almost two years later, I didn't realize existed.

What a happy, pleasant surprise!

My house didn't get cleaned. No bills were organized. Weeds are still happily growing in my little garden plot out back, but I spent a glorious day being once again thrilled that I stumbled upon my own piece of heaven down here in Central Kentucky.


This is me driving out of my subdivision. I'm such a safe and serious driver -- especially when I'm taking pictures while driving.


A path on the grounds of Liberty Hall. I love this shot of the brick walk-way!


A little shot of sunshine ... a beautiful yellow iris dancing in the wind and sun.


By far, one of my all-time favorite flowers. The daisy ... it can't help but make you happy!


This is my FAVORITE shot of the day ... taken with a sepia tone in the Liberty Hall Gardens. I think I'm going to print this off and hang it with a collection in my house! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the contrasting light and dark of it!!!

JAPANESE WISTERIA AT LIBERTY HALL






Thursday, May 15, 2008

RANDOM STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

I'm seriously annoyed by this gas deal. The other day I went on a rampage. I wanted the White House phone number because I was going to call and give President Bush a piece of my mind. Then I noticed chocolate ...

I spent more money than I needed to at the grocery this evening. Please explain to me why my toilet paper must be so expensive. Seriously, the gas prices are causing toilet paper prices to rise? What I wipe my rear with is influenced by gas prices? WHERE IS THE NUMBER TO THE WHITE HOUSE! I SUDDENLY WANT TO GIVE PRESIDENT BUSH A PIECE OF MY MIND AGAIN!!

I'm sitting here sipping Starbucks. This can only mean two things:
1. I'm a very happy girl right now.
2. I will be up waaaay past my bedtime due to caffeine overload.
This might be a good time to try out the new pain meds the doctor gave me. Seems they're supposed to knock a person on their butt. Might need them as downer's after my Starbuck's upper.

I'm super behind on my reading ... I've just realized that half the clutter in my living room is due to the 80-11 different stacks of books in various spots around that space. It's gone beyond cool art pieces, which is what I was trying to pass them off as earlier. It's now into "you've got a sickness here" mode.

I must find something to wear to school tomorrow that doesn't require ironing as I left my iron at school. Yes, at school! I am doing a science experiment with the kids tomorrow, and it requires an iron. It's that, or come to school in my pajamas and iron when I get there ...

I wished I had a school uniform. I am so sick of picking out clothes.

I did my own French pedicure the other day. I've decided that I shouldn't keep MANICURIST/PEDICURIST as a career to fall back on. I can't color in between the lines. The end result was a mess, but because I'd spent a good deal of money on the kit, I decided I'd walk around with the globs of paint all over my toes. Hmmm ... wonder if that's why everyone has been looking at my toes ...

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

MADDIE THE CAT ... SHE LOVES HER A PHOTO SESSION

MY INTRODUCTION INTO A GAMBLING ADDICTION

This is either a look of trepidation or of excitement. You be the judge. Either way, this is me during my very first trip to the betting window. Erin thought it was important to document this momentous occasion. This was also before I got my cute new hair cut. Look at the frizz going on! Yikes!


Losers! Not the lovely ladies ... the tickets. I love this photo of Carrie and I, though. We were having blast in our cool new outfits, but the chic on the left (i.e., me ... the chic with the multi-colored/pink short-sleeved number), she needs some major work on those upper arms! Yikes, girlfriend! Also, notice that my prescription sunglasses scream "We're soooo out of date that Clinton and Stacy would both faint dead away!" No matter how hard I try, it seems there's always a small part of me Hopelessly Unhip. You gotta love that about me!

Mucho gracias to the cute pregnant girl for the photos. You rock, Erin!



DRUNK BROWNIES

Ladies and Gentlemen ... DRUNK BROWNIES!

[insert applause here]

You have one homemade brownie (no brownie mix in my house), a scoop or two of ice cream, chocolate syrup, and 10 BOURBON-SOAKED PRALINE PECANS.

YUMMY!

QUEEN OF PHYSICAL THERAPY -- DOES THIS GET ME THE ROYAL TREATMENT?

No surgery!!! YAY!

No tear in the meniscus! Yay!!

Damaged cartilage ... boo - hiss!

Physical therapy ... oh jeez! Again!?

So, it has now become my goal in life to get as many body parts as possible rehabilitated through physical therapy. So far, I've rehabilitated my right ankle and my lower bank. By my count, after my left knee, I'll have at least 10 major joints left to rehabilitate ... I mean, I've got wrists, elbows, shoulders, hips, the other ankle and knee ... oh wait! Does the neck count as a joint?

Why not, right?

When one is crowned as Queen of Physical Therapy, does it entitle them to royal treatment? Because that would be totally cool!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

THINGS YOU DON'T HEAR EVERY DAY

Walking to my truck this morning, I heard a donkey. Yes! That's right! I heard a donkey. Now, you don't hear that every morning, unless, of course, you live on a farm, which I don't!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A WORD ABOUT MY MENISCUS

I have words about pretty much everything else in my life, why not my meniscus?

Seems there's a possibility that my meniscus is, as my students would say, "all jacked up."

I went to my doctor's yesterday to finally see if I could figure out why I'm hobbling around like a 90 year old woman.

The conversation between myself and Dr. B went something like this.

"Hi, what seems to be the problem today?"

"My knee. That's the problem."

"Uh. What exactly is wrong with your knee?"

Pulling up my pant leg, "It's really swollen, and it hurts and I've finally just decided I need to figure out what is wrong with it."

"Okay ..." He looks at the, very obviously, swollen knee and then looks at the other not at all swollen knee. "What did you do to it?"

"Well, Dr. B, that is a very good question. You see, I'm not entirely sure."

Dr. B looks up at me with a look somewhere between wonder and utter puzzlement. I'm choosing to believe that he was dazzled by my blue eyes. He just doesn't understand the beauty that is me!

"It could have been when I fell on it causing fluid to gather in there ... gosh it was a number of years ago ... 7 ... 8 ... 9 ... 10 ... I don't know. A long time ago ..."

Did his brow just furrow a bit more?

"Who knows. I'm on my feet all day."

"When did it start bothering you?" He's yanking and pulling on my leg, and it sort of hurts.

"I don't want to tell you." He looks up at me again, slightly alarmed. "It started right after the Black Cat Chase."

He starts to say something, then acts like he's swallowing it. Then he makes this weird sound through his nose, highly unprofessional, I might add, and half-way squeaks, "That was Halloween!"

"Yes, I am well aware of this, Dr. B, but in my defense, I was just sort of hoping it would go away."

It was at this point, he rolled his eyes.

"Well, I could take x-rays, but I think what you've got is some sort of tear in the meniscus. I'm going to call in an appointment to an orthopedic surgeon. I want him to look at this."

I'm thinking ... sounds expensive!

I was relaying the conversation to my parents later on that night, and my mother had this to say, "Well, so it sounds like you really didn't need me there at all. Dr. B. did a pretty good job on his own of shaming you for not going in to see him earlier about that knee?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Although, in my defense, I rested it back in October thinking that it would just go away."

Silence.

"Mom? You're rolling your eyes at me, aren't you?"

"You know me too well ..."

THE BEAUTY THAT IS ME

I talked to my mom last night to fess up to the fact that her little Mother's Day gift hasn't "winged" it's way to her yet. I have managed to forget to run to the post office every single day this week! I'm a terrible daughter.

However, I didn't fess up to everything. I suppose the world wide web is the best venue for such fessing up.

I've had a portion of my mom's gift for a couple of months. It's something that she mentioned she wanted, and while it was nothing HUGE, I was pretty proud of myself for being ahead of the game and purchasing something so far in advance.

And this is where I must admit something to you all now ...

You see, I vividly remember putting the aforementioned items into the clear tub designated for "gifts purchased ahead of time." I went in the tub to retrieve the Mother's Day gifts, and .... THEY WEREN'T THERE!!! GONE! SOMEONE HAS BEEN IN MY HOUSE AND HAS STOLEN MY MOTHER'S DAY GIFT TO MY MOTHER!

I have no other way to explain, because surely I wouldn't have misplaced such items. Really ...

So, mom, part of your gift is winging it's way to Michigan. Part of your gift is ... well, it's somewhere in this townhouse. I might unearth it by your birthday!

It's the thought that counts, right?

Thursday, May 08, 2008

N.O.W. -- WATCH OUT! I MIGHT JUST BURN MY BRA!

I've been processing this for a long time now, and, at the risk of alienating a bunch of loyal fans (all 8 of you), I feel I must write this. If for no other reason than we are coming upon Mother's Day Weekend, and I am eternally grateful and very blessed for the mother I have in my life ... and the many stand-in mothers in my history that have always been willing to take over the "mom thing" where my mom leaves off.



Lately, I've noticed a trend ... whiny women. I'm not making a blanket statement or anything. I've just noticed a growing faction (albeit small) of women whining that about they fact that they've got it all, and they don't know how to deal with the responsibility. Witnessing this phenomenon has caused me to become increasingly resentful, and last night, finally, I unloaded on my mom, a forward-thinking woman before her time.



My mom's response? "You know, I had time constraints -- a load of responsibilities too overwhelming to comprehend -- when I was raising my kids, we all did. But we did it, because that was our responsibility as mothers and women. I don't think these younger girls understand that."


You know what, I think she might be right.




I feel a huge debt of gratitude, and a huge amount of responsibility to the throngs of women that came before me and blazed the trail so that I could enjoy the spoils of working as a woman and, to a certain extent, working as an equal in today's work force. I wouldn't for one minute pull A CARD that's being used today (you know, like, "I'm PMSing, so I just don't feel like doing it ...) because I feel like I owe the women before me, including my mother, who couldn't dare think of those cards, let alone use them. I want to build on their legacies not tear that legacy down.



In other words, GIRL POWER.



I want my female students ... my very own little girls, should I ever have any, to feel empowered and confident, and I don't think pulling and using "cards" will enable those confidences.



I think of a friend back home that, despite a terrible period of depression, managed to pull it together for her kids. She'll be the first one to tell you that if it hadn't been for her kids, she doesn't know where she'd be today. She dug herself up from the brink of a major mental crash and got it together. She could have used the MENTAL ILLNESS card, but she didn't. I honor her.


I think of my grandmother and her sisters, all of whom raised a slew of kids without benefit of husbands because they were fighting a war an ocean away. They didn't have the time to throw up their hands and give up. It wasn't an option. That is strength! They could have used the NO HUSBANDS TO HELP card, but they didn't. I honor them.


I think of a former colleague whose desire to have a child was so great that she swore she'd not complain one bit about any part of the UNCOMFORTABLE that comes with being pregnant ... despite being pregnant with twins ... and all that comes with that! She wanted those babies that much. She could have pulled the PREGNANCY card, but she didn't. I honor her.


I think of the league of women that are defending our freedoms, sacrificing their time with their children because their love for this country and what it stands for is so deep and personal. They don't have the option of saying, "I just can't do it," and would we really want them to? The number of cards these women could pull is immeasurable, but they don't pull a one. I honor these women.


I think of the other league of women running households and children and schedules while keeping one, possibly two and three jobs down all at the same time, while their husbands are away, defending our freedoms. When do they get to play cards? I honor these women as well!


I honor every woman that has ever come out of a bad, often times, abusive relationship and, having learned from her horrifying experiences, can finally love and respect herself. I honor those women!


I think of my own mother who mothered two girls, despite not having an example of how a mother of girls past ten years old should parent. She could have played the MY MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS YOUNG card, but she didn't. And she was totally successful at the whole mother thing, anyway. I honor her!


There are countless numbers of women paving the way for future generations of girls to rock their worlds, and I don't want to devalue their journey by ever achieving less than my best.


I honor all you strong, vibrant women out there making it happen and rocking your worlds! You are my hereos! You are my inspiration!


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

LAZY EYE

Looking at photos of myself recently, I realized something.


It appears as though I have a slightly lazy eye! I never noticed this before. Look at my left eye(would be right as you look at the photos). Do you notice how it's slightly droopy?


How come, at 36 years of age, I'm just now noticing this? HUH! How did I miss this fact before!?!?! Such a puzzlement ...

It's genetic, I will say. I've got a great uncle and two cousins that have lazy eyes, but they are all in the same line, i.e., grandfather, father, and son. How does that stuff jump over to an entirely different limb on the family tree?

I ask this, because I didn't do so well in my college genetics course.



Sunday, May 04, 2008

SURVIVING A HUNTING TRIP

Just got back from my first hunting trip ... EVER! I've gotta tell you, I had a blast, but I like being outdoors and in nature. So, this was not a stretch for me. It was a gorgeous day for sitting and communing with nature, too. Couldn't have asked for a better day.

So, here's a pictorial essay, if you will, of my first hunting trip. Caution! Some of these photos of me may cause you to feel faint from the utter hottness that I seem to be exuding from underneath all the camo!



I do, however, want to point out one thing: Experienced hunter man? He had to go to the bathroom twice while we were out. Inexperienced hunter girl? She didn't go once!









This is me rocking the HOTNESS factor with my camo turkey hoody thingy! My dad is sitting at home just beaming with pride.



Decoys ... essential, apparently, to any turkey hunt. What do I know? They didn't really fool me. Of course, here I am, attempting my best HUNTERLY LOOK. I'm not sure I'm pulling it off, though.

This is where I thought deep thoughts while Joe went off in search of the elusive Tom Turkey. Unfortunately for Joe, I was more successful at my task than he at his. I was, however, kicking msyelf for not bringing along my journal.

Here's Joe, zeroing in on something with his binoculars. A word about his binoculars ... ummm COOL! I could have sat and played with these things all day, mainly because they measure the distance in yards of everything! Waaaay cool. However, Joe pointed out they really aren't for playing ... hmmm ... what does he know!

Erin insisted on getting photos of us after it was all over with. Joe handed me the gun, and it really looks like I know what I'm doing with it. Seriously, I don't have a clue. It's awfully heavy ... not like the super soakers at the K B Toys! Again, my dad is beaming with pride ...

I've had a number of people look at me in horror when I've told them I went out with Joe and Joe's wife didn't accompany us. Ummm ... who wants to tramp around the woods when you're 8 months pregnant, number one. Number two, Joe is like my brother. In fact, as I was sitting on my little hunting chair watching the hen fiddle around in the tree line, I thought to myself, "So, this is what having a brother is like. This is cool!"

A HUNTING WE WILL GO ... PART 2

So, I'm just about an hour away from my very first hunting expedition ever, which actually, I'm slightly excited about ... not because I could witness the death of a living organism, but because I LOVE being out in the woods. I'm sooooo excited about communing with nature. I've got my hiking boots out, and my camo pants are on! I am ready!

Now, I can tell you that friends and family reading this right now have some things going through their minds. Because they don't really have a tangible voice, I thought I would give voice to what I am relatively sure is going through their heads at this precise moment.

MOM: Joe is going to kill her when he realizes she really can't keep her mouth shut. I tried to warn them all. Better stay by the phone so when Erin makes the call, I'm ready. Hope she remembers her poison ivy lotion ...

DAD: Make me proud, Meg, remember what I taught you about looking for signs and walking quietly. Then call me later and tell me all about it.

ANN: You're doing what????? WHY!?

CARRIE: Dude, you are such a dork!

ERIN: YOU ARE A DORK!!! I'm laughing at the fact that you are actually going to go out with Joe while he hunts. What a dork!

DENISE aka NEEN: [after she's finished laughing] Meg, whatever floats your boat, girl. Whatever floats your boat ...your boat is definitely different from the rest of our boats, that's for sure!

Photos to follow, I promise!

And yes, mom, I dug the poison ivy crap out to lather up with before I leave. No repeats of the summer of 2005, thank you very much!


Saturday, May 03, 2008

KENTUCKY DERBY

Big Brown Wins Derby; Eight Belles Is Euthanized

That's a headline you don't want to see. Even worse, it's not a scene you want to see, which, sadly, many witnessed today at Churchill Downs.

I love that BIG BROWN won. Yeah for him!

I'm sad that Eight Belles had to lose her life ... but girl power still rules! She proved that in spades today!

A HUNTING WE WILL GO

The Great White Hunter, i.e., Erin's hubby Joe, has once again asked me when I will be joining him for an afternoon (or morning, yes, I told him I'd get up at the crack of dawn ... what was I smoking that day!?!?!?) of "fun" and blood and guts and death and mayhem.

My response? You've not given me a formal invitation. I've been waiting, Joe, but nothing! What gives?

So, today, Erin and I had breakfast. Because I was going to the salon to get my hair done afterward, I just slapped a hat on my head. It's a LIFE IS GOOD hat that Christy got me for my birthday. It's A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. It's khaki with a pink heart on it. Don't you know, I LOVE pink.

I said to Erin, "whenever I go hunting with
The Great White Hunter, I am going to wear my camo pants, this hat, and a pink t-shirt. That way, when I beg Joe to get my picture taken with his dead, nasty bird, I'll look all cute and girlie in my pink."

"If you wear a pink t-shirt, Joe will kill you. He'll make you wear a jacket."

Joe's a fun sucker!

Friday, May 02, 2008

THINGS I'VE HEARD RECENTLY THAT HAVE SENT ME BACK

So, I love music. LOVE IT. And I think I would be considered an eclectic music listener. I like a lot of different stuff. It's true what they say, music is powerful, and it can take you back to times where memory is so vivid, you'd swear you were reliving it. This week, I've heard a number of songs that have caused the memories to roll ...

1. Deff Leppard's POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME ... Okay, in the world of lyrics, let's just say there really isn't a lot that can be said other than DIRTY, FOUL, MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE. However, I can't help myself -- I LOVE, just LOVE jamming to this BIG HAIR BAND'S song. I remember scream-singing this on the bus on our way to a state band competition. Nothing like a bus-load of teens rocking out with their favorite big hair band to get you in the mood for Beethoven.

For better or worse, I can quote almost word for word each lyric. Yet, I can't seem to remember my password to my email at work ... go figure! At any rate, I am sure it was relatively entertaining to witness me buzzing down a well-traveled by-way here, windows in LITTLE RED all down, and me screeching POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!!!!!!

2. Marky Mark's GOOD VIBRATIONS ... this was college. I know this, because one of the girls in my "college clique" got married the summer between our sophomore and junior years, and we were all in her wedding. That song played heavily in every single late-night dance session we had leading up to the wedding as well as AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION. Now, I know my limitations, and dancing really is one of my limitations. Sadly, at wedding receptions, I lose all inhibitions and manage to go out anyway ... and this is without the higher power of libation! I just purely lose my mind! So, you can imagine the picture of me in a wine-colored Hi-Lo lace overlay number, jamming (and I use that term loosely) to GOOD VIBRATIONS during a warm June evening in 1992. When I become rich and famous, those pictures might find their way on to YOU TUBE ...

3. Meatloaf's I WON'T DO THAT ... This was when I was 24 or 25, and I was dating my very own OFFICER AND GENTLEMEN. In fact, I met this guy at another college girlfriend's (shout out to Denise!!!! Can it really be 12 years this October!?!?!?!?) wedding! He was an usher -- I was the maid of honor. He saved me from the groom's drunk cousin who thought that EVERY, SINGLE song the DJ played that night, including the chicken dance, needed to be danced in the theme of dirty dancing, with an emphasis on dirty. For whatever reason, whenever I think of my time with the Naval Lt., I WON'T DO THAT is a song I remember. This memory is fraught with deep, subconscious undertones, but I won't go there ...

Anyway, I'm told he's happily married and a daddy ... I'm very happy for him.

4. Tim McGraw's INDIAN OUTLAW ... in the whole grand scheme of Tim McGraw, INDIAN OUTLAW is not a top song in my song book. However, I went with Denise and her then, fiance, Sam, and two other friends to Tim McGraw's SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION concert at the Kellogg Arena. The Kentucky Headhunters opened for him, which did nothing for me, but I do remember hearing Tim McGraw singing the INDIAN OUTLAW song, and it is where Denise and Sam chose to ask me to be Denise's maid of honor. Awwww ... it's a precious memory, even when you mix in the fact that Tim was wearing a black mesh t-shirt that was just a bit over the top for me. I will forgive him, though, because well, he's Tim McGraw!

5. Carrie Underwood's DON'T FORGET TO REMEMBER ME ... This is a bittersweet memory. I'd heard this song all Summer 2006, but the memory that stands out to me is the morning I packed up Little Red and headed off for MEGAN'S BIG ADVENTURE, starting my new life in Kentucky. I'd just said a horribly painful good-bye to my parents, crawled into my truck, turned on the radio, and I swear to you, as I was pulling out of the driveway, waving to my parents one last time, this song started playing! How weird is that?? It's a song that still has a special spot in my heart.

6. Les Miserables ON MY OWN ... I had the privilege of seeing this show live, and by far, the scene when Eponine sings this was one of the most moving scenes for me! I was practically in tears before the actress was done. I have felt this girl's pain more than once in my life. However, this song took on particularly deep meaning for me a few years ago, when I met someone during a period of my life I like to call THE DARK PERIOD. Doesn't it always happen this way? You meet the nightmares during those times when you can't manage to find your head due to it's being so far up your rear-end! Enter "my stupid mistake." I chose this song to sing while taking voice lessons that I happened to take during THE DARK PERIOD, and I still pull it out to practice vocals. Every time I sing it, I'm reminded of how long it's taken me to get over being burned so badly ...

7. RASCAL FLATTS remake of LIFE IS A HIGHWAY ... I can't remember when I first heard it, but I'm guessing it was high school, since somewhere in the messes I call closets, I have a single tape (yes, I said TAPE) of the original song -- and according to the TIME LINE OF MAN, tapes fell into the MEGAN'S HIGH SCHOOL YEARS portion. I kept that tape in the car with me, and every single time I went on a road trip, I played that song to christen the trip. Denise, didn't I play it for you when we went on our MEGAN AND DENISE'S BIG "UP NORTH" ADVENTURE? Anyway, Rascal Flatts did an awesome job with it, and you can totally imagine me jamming to it in my truck, I'm sure.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

THINGS I'M WAAAAY EXCITED ABOUT

A.) The weekend ... gotta love a good weekend, and it's Derby Weekend here in the Commonwealth. What could be better than that? Oh yeah, if we actually had a weekend with decently good weather ... yeah, that would be pretty nice.

B.)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull --- OH MY GOSH!! HE'S COMING ON MAY 22ND!!!! I CAN HARDLY STAND IT!!!! You don't understand, people. I have had a serious love affair with Indy. I was positive I would marry him and sail off into the sunset swinging on his handy-dandy whip, Indy firmly gripping me to his tight, muscled body. I remember the year the last movie came out ... Summer 1989. I remember this, because that was the summer I entered the "WORLD OF SENIOR LAND." Now, high school graduation seems like it JUST HAPPENED. However, a quick mathematical equation shows that, in fact, it's been 18 years ... to which, somewhere out there, my sister is laughing manically, because she LOVES to remind me that I am that much closer to 40.

C.) The new TEVA sandals I splurged on for the summer. They are FAB, FAB, FAB!!!

D.) SEX AND THE CITY -- THE MOVIE ... May 30th, folks. I smell a GIRLS NIGHT OUT in the wind. This movie will be the PERFECT girls night out event. Who's with me on this one???

E.) Finding out what is wrong with this knee ... the knee I've been limping along on since the Black Cat Chase in October. Okay, yes, I have been putting off the doctor's appointment, mainly because I didn't want him to tell me, "You need to stay off of it," because, quite frankly, I need to LOSE more weight, and I can't do that if I'm not exercising. But the pain is getting to an unbearable point now ... so, I go to see the good doctor on May 9th. Hopefully, he won't have to cut it off ...

F.) Being DONE
, DONE, DONE with writing portfolios. YIPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT!

There's a reason why I don't watch the nightly news.
  1. It depresses me.
  2. It makes me seriously angry.
I fell asleep in front of the TV this afternoon after watching a rerun of Gilmore Girls (LOVE that show ... LOVE witty, acerbic banter). When I woke up, it was "news" time. Despite my better judgment, I thought, "well, maybe there's a sunshiny report to be told."

Nope! No sunshine. No lemon drops and gum balls.

Just gloom and doom and politicians making seriously BONE-HEADED decisions, and one single fourth grade teacher who is now on a complete and total rampage about the rising gas prices and the freakishly ridiculous price for a gallon of milk.

I mean there was a lady who was cooking her own laundry soap to save enough money to feed her kid, for heaven's sake. REALLY PEOPLE!!!!! What the heck!??!?!?

AND YOU ASK ME TO TRY TO EARN A SECOND AND THIRD DEGREE WHEN I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY EGGS?????????????????????????????????????????????

Why oh why didn't I just watch a rerun of ROB and BIG? At least I would have had a reason to laugh at the stupidity.