Friday, September 29, 2006

ANIMAL PLANET

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have a GIANT soft spot for animals. It's to the point of ridiculous, most people would tell you. For instance, I can't watch movies or shows where animals are being abused or hurt in any way. I can't watch them suffer or die. It's just too difficult for me.

So, someone should have set the alarm off last night, when, after channel surfing, I landed on Animal Planet's Animal Rescue. I was treated to a show about a Rotweiler (spelling?) named Sophie that had been beaten so badly by her owner that not only was she freaked out anytime anyone touched her softly, but her skull and jaw had been fractured so severely that it left her blind, with her tongue permanently hanging out. She was being rehabilitated, and all's well that end's well.

This, however, did not stop me one bit from BAWLING ... the whole show made me miss Sadie the Dog (currently living in Michigan with Papa and Grams) ... and this made me cry even harder.

Note to self ... DO NOT WATCH ANIMAL PLANET!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

THINGS THAT HAVE ANNOYED ME TODAY

HORMONES: Really! What purpose do these hormones serve other than to annoy the crap out of me!? Furthermore, what purpose do SIXTH GRADE HORMONES SERVER other than to cause me to lose my mind?

SONIC RESTUARANTS: I'd never been to one before, and because I had absolutely no desire to cook for myself, I figured, why not! Well, they never bothered to put ANY WHERE ON THEIR ORDERING THINGY that you had to pay by credit card, debit card or Sonic card (whatever the heck that is!). So, I sat there for probably five minutes before it occured to me that no one was coming to get my money. HELLO!!?!??! Not everyone has a Sonic in their town. Shoot! I didn't even know what one of those were before I moved south. POST THE FRIGGIN' RULES FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

LOUD, OBNOXIOUS CAR SOUND SYSTEMS: Please tell me why you need a sound system in your car in the first place!? My gosh! I'm going to lose my hearing sitting next to you at a stop light.

TURN SIGNALS: Why do we bother having them when no one here in Kentucky uses them until the very last second?

Monday, September 25, 2006

DEBRIS PILES

So, I went out to take some more photos. For whatever reason, I can't load the ones I took on my mini digital onto Blogger. Bummer! I had some so-so shots of the Elkhorn Creek rising to the point of almost hitting the back side of Buck Run Baptist Church. In actuality, I think during the hour and a half storm between Friday evening and Saturday morning (sometime in the middle of the night), it did hit the side of the building. There were water marks on it, I noticed today.

Anyway, today, I went back after work, to take more shots. This time, I took my "real" camera. It's not a high-powered, fancy-dancy camera like my dad's, but I think it will show some of the aftermath.

I was bummed, because a lot of the water had receeded, but the debris piles were OUTRAGEOUS!!! I've never seen anything like it! Literally, WHOLE TREES were lying in giant piles as high as my waste. I didn't venture a very close measurement of this because I was a tad bit concerned about rattlers. I've got a photo of one huge debris pile that managed to grab what appears to be a small refrigerator or a dryer or something. It's a dinged up, banged up, muddy mess, currently sitting on the top of a giant pile of trees, et al, in some one's yard. I wonder, does insurance cover the cost of removing flood debris from your yard?

I've gotten a few questions about the fact that we had school today, and the Kentucky River hadn't yet crested. Why would we have school? Well, we've got a flood wall between the school and the river. So, as they say on Broadway, the show must go on.

The Kentucky River was running at a pretty good pace, and the amount crap that zipped by was unbelievable. Again, whole trees, floatillas of tree branches and the sort, car tires, random scraps of metal, a car bumper, crazy stuff!

I wished you guys could have seen it ... it was mind-boggling. Our school sits at the bottom of a hill, and we, literally, had large pieces of rock that flowed into our parking lot over the weekend. The business across the street from us had 8 inches of water at one point on Saturday. AMAZING!!!!

All my teaching buddies thought I was a bit daft for being so amazed by it all, but really, I've never seen anything like this at all. Of course, if it were rushing into my house, I wouldn't be as enamored.

There were many people in Lexington that had MAJOR flood damage. Two lives were lost in Lexington -- 8 total in the state of Kentucky. We had quite a few people here in Frankfort with a lot of damage. One of our teachers lost just about everything in her basement family room. It seemed like a lot of the damage here in Frankfort was in the Holmes Street area, a very low income area. That seems so unfortunate.

Anyway, life is getting back to normal, and I just can't begin to describe for you all that I saw this weekend. This is a wild land!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

SCENES FROM AROUND FRANKFORT ON A SUNNY SUNDAY


What an over-exposed shot!!! However, that is the floral clock! It's very famous, and you can't see it, but there is a fountain surrounding it. When you stand and watch it, you can actually see the hands moving ... well, you can hear them moving too.










This photo is a poor one, but I wanted to post a quickie on the blog showing our state capitol building here in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. The mini digital doesn't really give the building the justice it deserves. It's really a beautiful building.














This is the back side of the capitol building. The sun was shining on it, and my mini digital is not the best quality. So, this is an over-exposed shot. Still, you can get a bit of an idea about what I get to see on a daily basis ... yes, I said daily! My school is just a few small blocks away!



















Our local Walmart. This is where I dropped a chunk of change today. Good grief!









This, of course, is STARBUCKS!!!! I do believe this is heaven right here on EARTH! I was waiting at a stop light, so the photo isn't the greatest, plus, I was taking it with the new mini digital.

HOT APPLE CIDER AND BANANA BREAD

Ahhhhh ...

I'm sitting here sipping my second mug of hot apple cider. Yes, if I get the green apple quickstep, I know I've got no one to blame but myself. Right now, though, I don't care! I love apple cider, and I like it even better after it's been warmed up.

This morning, I thought banana bread and apple cider would be a great combo for a Sunday breakfast. Nothing better!

I LOVE FALL!!!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

SOMETHING TO READ

To read about the floods here in Central Kentucky, go to this MSNBC website. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14920363/

THE FLOOD WATERS ARE RISING

Oh my gosh! It's wild!

My teaching buddy Christy and I went to Georgetown. The Festival of the Horse was not well attended. Apparently, many people were scared off by the rising waters. Silly us ... we weren't scared off.

However, on the way home, we drove through a TORRENTAL down pour. Elkhorn Creek is at THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. For those of you familiar with the area, it's typically near the edge of the road anyway ... it's fixin' to be part of it soon!

Mom, Dad, and Ann ... do you remember how the creek crossed under the road, and meandered between the entrance to the Elkhorn Campground and a baptist church? Well, as we were driving by, the "creek" was raging toward the back of the baptist church!!! Not sure services will be held there tomorrow.

I've never seen anything like it! It's crazy, I tell you.

If I can get some pictures, I will. However, I have a healthy respect for raging waters.

START BUILDING YOUR ARK!

I had a horrible night's sleep! That stupid headache referenced in my last post was still bothering me. Besides getting up THREE TIMES to go to the bathroom, I was awakened by a whopper of a storm that lasted, get this folks, one and a half hours!!!! It was ridiculous!

I had plans to go to Georgetown, KY, with a friend from work today. They are having their Festival of the Horse, and we wanted to go.

I got up, turned on the tv to get an idea of the temperature for today, and was immediately assaulted with live feed after live feed of flooding all over the greater Lexington area! Flood watches are out for my area, Franklin County, as well, until 1:15 p.m., and those watches could be extended based on the line of severe thunderstorms making their way from Missouri ... steaming right toward us. This annoyed me as I was really looking forward to another good fall festival. (the webcam photo below was taken from WKYT's website http://www.wkyt.com/home/headlines/4216506.html)

I went to make coffee, and as I was standing in front of my sink, I noticed water that had puddled from the kitchen window, onto my "above the sink organizer thingy." The first floor of my townhouse is undergroud on the front half (where my kitchen is -- it's built into a hill), and apparently, we had so much rain last night, that it actually leaked in through my kitchen window.

Funny. I can't get the stupid window open to let in a little fresh air, but it will certainly allow water to leak in. That's nice!

So, I may cloistered in my townhouse today. This will suck. At some point, I've got to get to Walmart to get more kitty litter. Perhaps I can plot some high land routes to Walmart and back. Crap! I've got to go over the KY river.

Man! Floods really bite!

Friday, September 22, 2006

ANNOYED ... PERTURBED ... HEADACHEY

Today was not my day to deal with sixth graders. I went to bed last night with a headache (after falling asleep during my show premiere CSI ... ARGH!!!), and I woke up with a headache. It has not mattered how many ibuprofen I've taken today either. It's not touched it. Plus, and I apologize to my male readership, I'm hormonal. So, going out in the rain to watch the high school march by in their Homecoming parade was JUST the thing I needed to do today. It lended itself to me screaming like a banshee at my sixth graders while they mowed over and body slammed as many people as they could while attempting to get the BAGS AND BAGS of candy that the parade participants were throwing out at them ... all the while, a reporter and photographer from our paper were standing right behind me witnessing my display. Good times!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I SAW IT, AND IT MADE ME THINK OF HOME

A DEAD DEER!!!! Now, for those of you not orginally from Calhoun County, Michigan, this may not seem like a big deal. However, in my part of Michigan, deer roadkill is a VERY common occurance ... in fact, it's a banner day if you only see one deer roadkill in your travels. Not the case down here.

Today was the first deer roadkill I've seen in my two months down here, and it made me think of home.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

HERE'S A PICTURE OF MY CLASSROOM!



You will see that the student desks are arranged so that they all face my desk, "chalk board," and our fireplace.

CRABBY TEACHER HAS A PLAYFUL SIDE

Okay, so the above photo is actually of the school house at Fort Harrodsburg (http://www.harrodsburgky.com/) in Harrodsburg, KY. I had to have a little fun with you guys. This is a neat little fort, but, I've got to tell you ... it doesn't hold a candle to our Fort Michilimackinac (http://www.mackinacparks.com/parks/colonial-michilimackinac_7/).

So, something else made me chuckle today ... in a slightly morbid, sick way. For two days, I've been listening to helicopters fly over the school. No one has come over the PA and announced that we were under attack, so, other than being mildy annoyed, I've gone on with my day. This afternoon, during ESS (an after school tutoring program), I'm diligently working with some students, when the ding dang things fly over our school AGAIN for the umpteenth time. One of my kids, a self-proclaimed "projects resident," announced as he worked on his personal narrative, "Oh, some one's runnin'."

I started laughing! Yes, this is sick "projects" humor, and yes, I shouldn't have been laughing. I'm sorry; it struck me funny!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM A RANDOM MIND

RANDOM THOUGHT #1
Finished CPR/First Aid training tonight. This I know for certain ... no one should rely on my to give them First Aid if there is blood involved. I got queasy just watching the DVD, and that was all fake blood!

I did, however, manage to get an arm sling on my "victim" tonight (our new high school principal), without groaping either one of her boobs. This is progress in my mind!

RANDOM THOUGHT #2
It is FREAKIN' COLD today! I don't think it got past 60 degrees, and they are threatening us with the low 40s tonight. Come on! It's only September!!!!!

RANDOM THOUGHT #3
CSI PREMIERES THIS THURSDAY!!! CSI PREMIERES THIS THURSDAY!!!!

RANDOM THOUGHT #4
I want to marry Nick Stokes! (please refer to Random Thought #3 if you are unaware of who Nick Stokes is).

RANDOM THOUGHT #5
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

Sunday, September 17, 2006

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GO TO ELDER BEERMAN

I accompanied Ann, my sister (for those of you who don't know), to Elder Beerman today. They were having Goodwill day or something along those lines. Anyway, if you brought stuff to the store earmarked for Goodwill, they would, in turn, give you coupons for 20% off in the store.

Ann, who frequently cleans out her closet, had a bag full, and, in exchange, she got a WAD FULL of coupons. We're tooling around the place, and, at my suggestion, we go into housewares. We are wandering aimlessly around, looking at various and assundry items, when Ann zeroes in on INNOVAGE'S Mini Digital Camera. They are running a sale. For a mere $10, you can have a fashion color dig. camera that you can put on your key chain. So, in reckless abandon, Ann and I both purchase one!!!

I will not become the next Ansel Adams with this camera, but the stupid thing works!! It came with software so that one can load the images one takes on one's computer. Check them out!


This is Ann looking slightly annoyed at me that I'm taking her picture. The door behind her leads into my furnace "room." I put room in quotes, because it just fits the furnace and a.c. "stuff," and that's it. More like a furnace closet.















This is Ann as her excitement builds. She's looking at her new camera and is wondering what it can do! In fact, I think that is an "Ooooohh!" that has escaped from her lips.




















Of course, this is Maddie, AKA, Queen Bee, wondering what all the excitement is all about. The perplexed, slightly annoyed look, is the one she wears most days. Except for the totally "at peace" look she has when she is lying underneath the ceiling fan. Madison the cat has discovered the beauty of ceiling fans!

KITCHEN AND LAUNDRY "ROOM"




LIVING AND DINING ROOM SHOTS




COMMAND CENTRAL


This is where it all happens, folks!

THE CAMERA REALLY IS THIS SMALL


This is a photo of me, looking into a mirror just so you could see how small this dig. camera is. Okay, you see the quality of these photos isn't all that much to rave about, but still, it's fun to play with ... that is for sure.

VIEWS OUTSIDE OF AN OFFICE WINDOW



Views of the parking lot in front of my townhouse. Exciting, riveting stuff, ladies and gentlemen.

VIEWS FROM MY TOWNHOUSE




Shhhhh ... top secret stuff is following this less than attractive self-portrait. Please note the sink to my left in the background. I've got two bedrooms in this townhouse. The "master" bath is in-between the two bedrooms. The "master" bath consists of two insanely large linen closets, a toilet and a shower. The sinks are in the rooms. Kind of weird, and a bit like a dorm room. But, I'm making it work!








This is a view of my living as I sat in my "dining room." Really, it's one longish sort of room. The bright light is my picture window that looks out onto an underground electrical tower thingy, my 4 x 4 square patio and the grassy knoll. You can see a mug sitting on my coffee table. Yes, that is coffee. You come into my house, on any given day, you will see a half-consumed mug of coffee sitting somewhere. That's life in Megan's World.

















This is a pretty poor picture of what part of my office/guest bedroom/where-the-heck-do-I put-it room looks. I'm still in process, as you can see.

THE LIFESTYLE TO WHICH I'M ACCUSTOMED

I've decided that I've chosen the wrong profession to fuel the lifestyle to which I would like to be accustomed. This was made abundantly clear to me as I was tooling through Sonoma-Williams in the Fayette Mall. I was very interested in the Italian Pork Roast Rub. Now, I could have purchased that Italian Pork Roast Rub, but that would have been the only thing I would have purchased ... for a good long while! And since eating that particular rub by the spoonful is not looked upon as being the least bit nutritious, I decided to back out of the store slowly ...

Saturday, September 16, 2006

FESTIVALS, FOOD, FUN, AND FIREMEN

Ann and I tried to eat our way across central Kentucky today, and we made a pretty good dent!

Today was Midway, KY's, Fall Festival (3o-something annual). It was a great day, and I got sunburned in the process!

We ate at a little cafe called Quirk that we like (http://www.kygallery.com/quirk/index.htm). I had a wonderful cup of tomato basil soup and one of the best chicken salad sandwiches on whole wheat that I've ever eaten. Then, because neither one of us had ever eaten a funnel cake (I hadn't a clue what one was and was teased about that fact at work this past week), we shared a funnel cake. Let me go on record as saying it's just a dough full of grease that I'm currently still "eating" 8 hours later!

The festival was a good time, but it was crowded ... and it was hard to get into the booths to see anything.

Things I tried that I'd never had before: 1) sorghum on a biscuit ... very good ... I'm also currently wearing it on my right boob, 8 hours later! 2) the aforementioned funnel cake.

Things I'm learning to love: SWEET TEA! I must have consumed a gallon of that stuff. I'll be up til midnight!

From Midway, we decided to make our way to Millville and the Hillbilly Daze. Yeah ... let's just say we didn't feel like stopping. We drove through hill and dale **LITERALLY**, and somehow managed to come out right in front of Ann's complex. That was providencial since we both had to go to the bathroom so badly, we were looking for safe pull-offs and large, leafy trees (safe pull-offs on these back roads are few and VERY far between).

After the much needed potty break, and because we are crazy about antiques, we thought it might be fun to hit Irish Acres in Nonesuch, KY. When someone tells you something is in the middle of no where, they are describing Nonesuch, KY -- the quintessential MIDDLE OF NO WHERE! This place is an interesting place to tour.

On the way to Nonesuch, we spied a winery. So, after our tour of Irish Acres, we pulled into Wild Vines Winery, tasted their wares, and left with a bottle each of Blackberry Wine. I am telling you all, this stuff is AWESOME!!!! As I write this, Ann is at home eating vanilla ice cream with a bit of her Blackberry Wine drizzled over it. I found their Hard Cider to be very good as well. Overall, it reminded me of the places we've frequented back home or near Ripley, NY. The man serving us is my new best friend as he carded both Ann and I!

Finally, as we made it back into town, Ann suggested we have dinner. A new place just opened up in Versailles called Melissa's Cottage Cafe, simply southern. Well, that should have been our first clue that both of us would receive our carb quota for the next 6 months! No sooner had we gotten seated, than they slapped down in front of us a tin bucket full of garlic buttered rolls!

The southern style meatloaf was FABULOUS (nothing is better than southern-style green beans and real mashed potatoes), and Ann's chicken pot pie was out of this world. We rolled out of there and to my truck.

Yep, we sure did make a dent in trying to eat through central Kentucky!
********************************
I went to the Franklin County Farmers Market, which was wonderful! On my way home, in the busiest intersection in town (and the one I have to cross to get to my place) there stood at each of the four sides, beautiful fire fighters collecting money from drivers for their annual toy drive. Well, come on folks! I will not deny one of those beautiful boys the opportunity to stick their boot into my window. So, I donated.

Wouldn't you know it! My fire fighter was married! GRRRR!

Friday, September 15, 2006

WAYS TO LOOK LIKE A REAL GOOBER

I had CPR training last night. Oh yeah! If you want to really make yourself look like a giant goober, just go to a 4 hour CPR training course. Nothing does a better job!

Take, for instance, the moment I was posing as a victim and the guy next to me was flipping his victim over and stuck his big ole' butt right in my face!!!! Yeah, that was a special moment.

Or what about the time I was trying to support my victim while pretending to do the Heimlich manuever, and instead, I gropped her boob! Good times!

And, I must admit, I laughed out loud when one of the Resi-Annie's made a giant farting sound when her rescuer was giving her life breaths!

Gotta love CPR training!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

STRANGE THINGS WERE SEEN TODAY

Strange thing #1:
Firemen out running ... a whole bunch of them ... some were cute ... but they were running ... and sort of healthy looking. Okay, you have to understand two things. #1) My school is almost directly across the street from the fire department, so each morning I get to scope out the cute public servants. #2) Where I'm from, public servants don't jog. They don't even run ... or trot, for that matter. I'm not entirely sure they would know what healthy was if it came and slapped them in the face. This sight was so strange, I really almost ran Little Red off the road. This would have been embarassing as the police station is almost directly across the street from the fire department and exactly where I would have been headed had I ran my truck off the roadway.

Strange thing #2:
A truck with this sign painted on the side "TATTOOS BY HERB." Now, in the whole grand scheme of things, this business title doesn't reach out and grab me. I would rather get my nails done at FOXY NAILS. I mean, where's the edgy, catchy names like "SLASH'S TATS." Tattoos by Herb sounds a little weenie to me ... I'm just sayin'.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

GETTING A DRIVER'S LICENSE

Well, one of the last vestiges of "home" was taken from me yesterday.

I went to get my new Kentucky driver's license, and they took my Michigan license away from me! They said it was to put on file with the Kentucky State Police. For what reason, I'm not really sure. All I do know is that it made me sad. It was like giving up my identity. I am no longer a resident of Michigan. I'm now an official resident of Kentucky. For whatever reason, I'm sad.

I will not, however, be sad about giving up my Michigan license plate. See, I've discovered that we "northerners" SUCK AT DRIVING!!! I used to think it was just those from Detroit or Chicago. NOPE!!! I suck too! If you're reading this, and you live in Michigan, embrace the fact that you, too, are a crappy driver.

I can't wait to get a Kentucky license plate. This way, when I pull one of my bone-headed move, instead of them saying, "STUPID YANKEE!" they can now say, "STUPID IDIOT FROM FRANKLIN COUNTY!!!"

FIVE YEARS AND ONE DAY LATER

I didn't say anything about 9/11 yesterday. I guess I just didn't feel like it with all the other commemorations going on. This is not to make light of the tragedy. Just stating a fact ... maybe I just didn't want to think about it.

I didn't know anyone that lost their life that day ... I didn't know anyone personally affected. However, the emotions of that day are still as vivid five years later. It was, and continues to be, a defining moment in my life.

I was standing in front of the third grade class that I was student teaching when a fourth grade teacher from down the hall came into our room, ashen and near tears, to talk with my cooperating teacher. I could sense the urgency ... emergency even ... in the situation. My cooperating teacher came up to me and whispered "America is under attack. I'm going to the office to see what is going on."

The phrase "weak in the knees" became all to real for me in that one moment, as they literally felt like they were turning to jello. I was absolutely terrified as, at that exact moment, the fighter jets from the local Air National Guard unit flew over the school. I don't know if they were doing their normal air flight training runs, or if they had specifically been called to protect our little part of air space, but I was scared to death. On that day, uncertainity became an every day reality.

Life has moved on, but there is always a cloud looming ... a what if, if you will. The secure life I'd lived prior to 9/11 isn't a reality any more ... not that it ever was as was proved on that September day.

I will never forget ...

Monday, September 11, 2006

TARDY SLIP FOR THE DAY

Somebody needed to issue me a tardy slip today, because I was late to my own class. And not just a little bit later either. I WAS TEN MINUTES LATE!!!!!

What was a doing? The copy machine and I were hangin' ... rappin' with my peeps ...

Good grief, what is wrong with my head!?!?!?!

On another note ... you know you are a 6th grade teacher of boys when you watch them lick a popsicle in the shape of a penis and then think it's hysterical [insert eye roll here].

Sunday, September 10, 2006

LAZY SUNDAY

Today, I'm a the laziest person living, and I can't figure out why I feel guilty about it.

Perhaps it stems from the deep-seated Baptist guilt that runs deep in my blood. If I'm not at church on Sunday, then some how, I've slipped from grace. Yet, I know that is just rubbish! God doesn't operate like that.

Truth be told, I needed this day. I've been running for more than a month. If not physically running, it's been a mental run. On top of which, this has been a emotionally rough year for me to date. Not a single person out there really truly understands the war that's raged within. Quite frankly, I'm weary. I've spent a good deal of brain power, not to mention physical gusto, to get down here and immerse myself in LIFE IN KENTUCKY and, well, to get back into the game of life. I think it's time for a break.

So I vegged. I watched insane amounts of inane TV, went to the library and got four books, and I started down the path of laziness. It felt good, but I still feel guilty. See, I'm fighting that old nagging ... that pull to be more than a drip in my puddle. I desparately want to be the ripple in the sea of humanity.

And I couldn't help but be bugged by this question ... last week, Pete Hise asked the congregation of Quest Community Church this question, "What is it that is keeping you from climbing that mountain with God unfetered/unhindered?"

I wanted to shout back, "Where do I begin?"

However, as the week hit the ground running, I couldn't help but feel preplexed by the whole question as I let it sort of roll around in my cluttered brain. Quite frankly, I think I've buried it so deeply, I'm not entirely sure that I know what exactly is keeping me from scaling the sides of the mountain ... and maybe this is my biggest issue. Maybe it's actually ME keeping me from making the progress I need to make.

I often ask myself, "Is this it? Is this what it all amounts to?" I'm not sure what I thought this life would look like, and maybe that's why I feel this stirring ... this urging ... this overwhelming, all encompassing blanket of anticipation ... as if something is just around the bend, and it's going to be cool, but I've got to wait it out. So, maybe that's why it feels so weird to be lazy ... to waste time. Perhaps it's because there's really so little time left ... a lifetime seems to go by in a blink of an eye ...

Just throwing that out there into the internet abyss ...

Saturday, September 09, 2006

HAVING A "JESUS HELP ME, PLEASE" MOMENT


I chased one of these bad boy Wolf Spiders around my half bath early this evening. I was cleaning out Maddie's cat pan, and the dang thing came scurrying out from behind it. I had a "JESUS COME AND HELP ME PLEASE!" moment. Then, after chasing it around the bathroom with a toilet brush, he met his demise in the toilet, which was full of toilet bowl cleaner.

Let me just tell you ... these critters are aggressive, they are resilient, and as he was running away from me, I'm sure he gave me the finger!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

I'M AN ENGLISH TEACHER AND MY SPELLING IS CRAP!

So, my sister pointed out to me that I spelled preserver incorrectly in my last post. Yes, let a collective shudder be had by all as the full realization of my current vocation sinks in ...

Yes, American, I am a Language Arts teacher. This is why our current educational system is going to the proverbial hell in a hand basket!

Spelling is not my strong suit. That is why, when I type these posts, I always have my dictionary handy (Webster and I are really good buds). Of course, currently, it's buried in a box somewhere in this townhouse! I haven't the first clue where it could be. So, as they say down here, all y'all are at the mercy of my sub par spelling skills.

Git out yor sekrit spelin decoder rings ... yor gonna ned it ... at leest til I cin find my dikshunary.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

SOMEONE PLEASE THROW ME A LIFE PERSERVER

I'm drowning in hormone juice. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!
It's a slow, ugly death, people! Someone please take pity and throw me a life perserver ... and possibly a wetsuit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's what I know about sixth grade girls ... they know of more ways to ignore what's going on in class and obsess about the opposite sex than I have hours in my day. Seriously! And puffy letters ... good glory, if I see another boy's named scrawled in puffy letters ... or multi-colored Sharpie pens, I think I'm going to choke on my own tongue!!!! And while we are on this subject, what is up with tearing a perfectly good piece of notebook paper into tiny little pieces and writing the flavor of the minute's name down on EVERY SINGLE PIECE!??!?! I don't get it.

Here's what I know about sixth grade boys ... they find more ways to act like idiots than I have hours in my day! This behavior explains A LOT to me as an single, adult female currently observing single, adult males (and I use the term "adult" loosely). I see very little contrast with my sixth grade students and those possible dates I run across. This does not bode well for my future ... not one bit.

THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS LAWN FAIRIES

Have I mentioned before that I HATE to mow the lawn?????

Did you know this about me?????

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I DETEST mowing the lawn. I abhor it ... I would rather hung upside down my toe nails, I think. I've been known to say, on more than one occasion, "I WISHED THERE WERE SUCH A THING AS LAWN FAIRIES!"

Today I know they do exist. I know this for certaintiy, because I leave for work in the morning, and when I get home, the lawn has been magically mowed! It's amazing!

DINNER WITH THE DUKES

I had dinner with the Dukes tonight ... Dukes of Hazard. The wonders of cable! Apparently, CMT shows old reruns (emphasis on OLD) of the Dukes of Hazard. Perhaps I've mentioned it before, but when I was growing up, I was determined to marry both Duke boys (yes, at the same time ... hello! They were from Hazard County). I was sure I would look just as good in those Daisy Dukes as Daisy herself did.

Well, I'm not sure if I could still pull the Daisy Dukes off, but I sure can pull her cleavage off! Maybe it's not too late to nab one of those Duke boys!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A CABLE VIRGIN NO MORE!

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is a momentous day. It is catastrophic in it's magnitude. Today could alter the way the planets align and the direction the Earth rotates on it's axis. Why, do you ask?

Today, I got cable! Let the bells peel madly. Let it be proclaimed on the mountains tops, I AM NO LONGER A CABLE VIRGIN!

I don't remember when I've been so excited (which is a sad commentary on my life right now) as I was earlier when the cable/phone guy left me alone with my remote, and I discovered the wonders of the Food Network and CSPAN and CNN Headline News and regular channels SANS snow (something I've had to deal with since moving out on my own), and PBS!!!! I LOVE PBS!!! AND THE HISTORY CHANNEL ... E! ... A & E (you can't see me but I'm jumping on the guest bed right now). Oh the glorious wonders of tv. Now, I know why great swarms of people in the United States are obese. They are all staring at the cable tv.

Lest you be concerned that my overall girth will expand to untold numbers, I also have FIT TV ... 24-7 exercise channel! Fear not and ...

Long live the cable gods!!!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

I'm sitting here at my desk at school on a sunny, outrageously gorgeous Sunday afternoon while boat after boat after boat floats by my window on the Kentucky River. What is wrong with this picture?

I will tell you what's wrong with this picture. It's called an overworked, underpaid, teacher that is up to her blood-shot eyeballs in work and is desperate to make some sort of dent before the little dears come back to me on Tuesday.

I drove to Lexington to church today (http://www.questcommunity.com/) and was immediately struck by how much like fall it looked this morning. Allow me to paint the picture ... heavy, thick, gray clouds hung like a giant blanket over the rolling bluegrass hills. The wind blew a chilly breeze, and one could see the puff of air being blown from horses' noses. Brrr ... it even smelled like fall in the air.

Now, I love fall, and I tend to get nostalgic during this particular time of year, for some inexplicable reason. I don't know if it's the colors or the smells or the decorations ... whatever it is, it just feels good to be around what you know. That won't be the case this year, and as I got closer to Lexington, I couldn't help but feel a bit excited about the changes.

I know what fall in Michigan is like. There's the change in sound first, then the change in smell. Finally, you start seeing the changes ... soybeans turning yellow, corn being harvested (field corn stalks slowly dying in fields for what seems like forever), apple orchards opening up, pumpkins cropping up all over the place, and, finally, the rain of multi-colored leaves.

I'm getting excited to see what fall in Kentucky looks like ... :)

Friday, September 01, 2006

SLOWER PACE

Down here in Kentucky, things move at a slower pace. This would include their deer population.

Allow me to digress for a moment ... in Michigan, it is a rite of passage to hit a deer. We have one of the highest deer populations, so a "car-deer" accident is almost as common place as a sunny day in southern California.

They're manic, too, those Michigan deer. They will fly out in front of you with the same posture as a crazed mountain man Una-bomber! I am relatively certain the person that coined the phrase "deer in the headlights look," hit a Michigan deer.

You've got to hand it to the Michigan deer ... they die in a blaze of ... well, violence. They don't just die; they try hard to mutilate themselves and the moving vehicle that has the unfortunate luck of hitting them ... often times, imploding (sorry for that grizzly word picture).

This is not the case here in Kentucky. As with everything down here, the deer move at a slow, even pace. It doesn't matter if a big, red Dodge Dakota is barreling down on them. They just plod along on the roadway, causing the driver of the aforemention vehicle to shout an expletive and automatically jerk the steering wheel, realizing how close she came to mangaling the front of her vehicle. She is also thankful that it happened as she was driving back from her three and a half hour "buying new car insurance" excursion (more to come on that later).