Sunday, February 28, 2010

WITH APOLOGIES TO MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM

My friend Tabby asked me if I wanted to join her on a drive to Louisville today. She had to pick up an INCREDIBLE deal on a Total Gym that she bought off of Craigslist. I mean, INCREDIBLE!

But that isn't the point of my post -- the point of my post is that we decided before hand, that we would grab lunch somewhere on the way back from the pick-up.

"I was thinking about Claudia Sanders ..." Tabby says, as we headed back on the highway.

"OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!" I squealed, because that is what every dignified thirty-eight year old woman does, short of the excited hand-clapping that followed.

"Everyone keeps telling me that I need to go! I say let's go for it!!"

Tabby, who is now visibly excited herself says, "Oh good! I was hoping you'd go for it. I've been wanting to go since my birthday back in November."

And so to Claudia Sanders we go!

Tabby mentioned the Sunday Buffet, which is what everyone usually gets there. But I kept thinking, man! That's a lot of food. So, when I got there, and walked into the LARGEST dining room, ever, I looked on the menu, thought I found something I'd like, and was all ready to make my choice until our server came up and informed us that it would just be easier and faster to get our meals if we just ordered the buffet.

Nice marketing ploy, Claudia, since the buffet is $6.00 more, but I suppose she saw us coming ... half-starved and ravenous.

The server nailed the final nail in the coffin by informing me that the buffet had 8 vegetables on the table, and the menu only offered 6. Sign me up! I can load up on veggies, and feel better about eating the buffet.

It's at this point that I must inform my readers that apparently, Old Mrs. Sanders didn't believe it was truly a vegetable unless you stuffed it, breaded it, creamed it, or doused it in some sort of butter. I ate two helpings of stewed tomatoes ... if only they didn't have a butt-load of sugar and weren't loaded with bread cubes. Oh well. And the spinach! Oh my goodness, did I ever eat the spinach. Only, it was creamed ... with what I can only imagine was my cholesterol limit for the entire week ... maybe even the year!

The green beans? Amazingly full of real bacon and all its trimmings.

Mashed potatoes? Buttery ... oh boy, were they buttery!

Baked beans? Spicy!

Baked chicken, sans skin, thank you very much? Baked to perfection!

Barbecue chicken? Too spicy for me, yet still very yummy.

If you ever get a chance to go, check out Claudia Sanders Dinner House. Very good, but make sure you wear elastic pants. Yikes!

As a side note, if you hit Claudia Sanders following the Kentucky Derby, word on the street is that you might run into some celebrities, as apparently, many of them are fond of the "debauchery for your mouth" as well. William Shatner, among others, is a fan, I'm told.

Friday, February 26, 2010

MORAL DILEMMA

I had a moral dilemma of sorts today.

See, it all started out on the playground, where all great moral dilemma's start! As I was walking my kids out to the playground, I noticed a woman, laden down with small boxes, heading toward the building. I didn't pay too much attention as I was making sure none of my little dears ran in front of cars.

As my kids skipped and swung and yelled and ran and generally expended energy (oh did they need to expend energy!), I noticed the same woman, still laden down with boxes, heading in my direction.

"Excuse me. Could you tell me how to get into the building?" I did, and then she took one of her boxes and said, "Here. These are from my company [insert BLEEP here] Tax Service. They are cookies."

And here's where the moral dilemma flitted around me ever so slightly. For I thought to myself, "do I tell her my taxes are already done? Or do I just smile, take the box of cookies, and say thank you?"
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I just want to tell you that the Raspberry, White Chocolate, and Macadamia Nut cookie is my favorite.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

THURSDAY, THURSDAY, THURSDAY!!!

My friend Elly's (http://theunquietlife.blogspot.com/) desire to be more positive and healthier has inspired me. Yay Elly!!!!

This week, I've really tried to be a more positive person, and I've worked hard at trying to be a better friend ... whatever that looks like. I'm still fleshing that one out.

This week, I've tried to avoid the negative, glass-half-full mentality. I'm not sure I always succeeded, but I've tried. I'm giving myself gold stars for the "try" part.

This week, I've really worked hard at trying to be a healthier eater. Okay, I've not always completely succeeded at it, but I have to tell you, I'm sitting here ready to eat my arm off, so I think I've done okay! Now, for those that think I'm starving myself, nothing could be further from the case, but I think my body is in revolt to the extra, empty calories I was giving it prior to this week's foray into healthy-hood.

Finally, I've managed to make it to Thursday without coming completely unglued or unhinged. So, again, I see this as gold star-worthy. Therefore, I plan to shower myself with gold stars.

Commence putting on reflection-avoidance glasses now.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

BABY STEPS ... PART 2

I am STARVING right now. I think I could EAT a small country!!!!

BABY STEPS

I am trying to take baby steps ... Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.

My friend Jody and I have decided to keep food journals, and each morning, we're going to trade journals and see how well (or in my case, how badly) we did the day before. We're also trying to get exercise in there every single day as well.

Jody is the mother of three children, ages 4, 3, and 5 months old. Her food journal reads like a diary in healthy eating: hummus, veggies, fruits, nuts. And she exercises daily and does laundry and makes crafts with the kids and is a busy full-time teacher of Art at our school and is a wife to crazy, busy husband, and ... and ... and ...

My food journal reads like a person with clogged arteries that will need to be lifted out of her window via crane when she reaches the 500 lb mark: Carbs, carbs, and more carbs. And I haven't exercised once, but I have gotten my laundry done and picked up my house and made home-cooked meals every night this week.

Whatever! I was really discouraged about the whole thing. How all I've got is a cat to raise, and she doesn't listen to a word I say ... in fact, she "gives me the paw" on an hourly basis when I try to discipline and the power struggle is soooo obvious and ... well ... Jody is like Super Woman.

Then I said to myself, "Self! No more negative self-talk. You need to take baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day!"

So, my goal this week is to add more veggies and fruits to my diet. So far, I'm doing much better on this goal between yesterday and today (packed my lunch full of veggies and fruit today!). So, I feel fairly confident I can add another goal fairly soon ... something like, drink more water ... get more sleep .... exercise three times a week ... or over-throw a small country. I mean, it's all do-able if I just take baby steps.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

ALLERGIES ... GOTTA LOVE THEM

My principal has asked me NUMEROUS times today, "Are you alright? ... Are you sure? ... Everything okay? ... You doing alright?"

I couldn't figure it out.

Did I have something stuck to my butt? Or my forehead? What is the problem?

Then it hit me, my eyes are driving me CRAZY! Something is in the air ... something that is impervious to the heavy-duty eye drops my allergist has perscribed to me.

Apparently, my eyes are red and irritated, and, bless his heart, he thinks I've been crying.


Ahhhh allergies ... you gotta love them!

Monday, February 22, 2010

BLASTS FROM THE PAST

My principal has decided to have a little fun. Everyone in the building is to do a little biography of themselves and attach a photo ... that's kids, staff, bus drivers, cafeteria workers, EVERYBODY!
All of my adorable photos are in Michigan with the parental units. So, I set them to looking for a few good photos from which to choose.

I received these earlier today.

Newborn ... exactly 38 years ago, yesterday. Clearly, I was thinking big thoughts.


Age 3




Age 3, perhaps

Age 4, perhaps


A study in ugly hair, starting at the top, that would be 3rd grade (Ode to Farrah Fawcett), right 7th grade, bottom 2nd grade, and rounding out with the perm that never should have been, that is 6th grade.

So, I had my students vote on what photo they wanted me to use on my biography. Overwhelmingly, they wanted the baby photo. One of the kids, while looking at it said, "Why are you in black and white?"

"Yeah," said another girl, the daughter of a friend of mine. "Did they not have cameras back when you were born?"

I have informed that child that she will be failing fourth grade!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

GETTING MY CLEAN ON AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!


As you can see, I did some cleaning and reorganizing yesterday. I think it's a nice change, and it's a more streamlined change. Did you notice the stuff shoved underneath the kitchen cabinet? Yeah, I'm hoping that will take care of itself. I was super tired of making those decisions at that point. Oh well. The bottom half of the house is clean and presentable. It is my goal to keep that "dining room" table cleaned off the ENTIRE week. Crossing my fingers ...




I fell in love with this Rockasan chair at Pier 1 Imports. Because I love all of their Papasan line, and because I've had some problems with my Papasan chair recently, my parents sent me a gift card to purchase the Rockasan bowl and base. I had some money from tax returns to treat myself to the cushion. Talk about fun! Thank you Mom and Dad! I love it. And for the time being, my Papasan chair is cozy in my bedroom. Yay!


HAPPY #38 TO ME!!!





As I've mentioned before, I decided to throw myself a birthday party. The idea wasn't to sing my praises or anything, but more to just celebrate life with those that I love to do life with! I chose dinner and then The Penguin Piano Bar in Lexington. What fun! The weather cooperated (which it doesn't always do), and we had a complete blast. During a very unfortunate moment (on my part), when I excused myself to go the restroom during dinner, the rest of the girls pooled their money for a very special performance at the piano bar later that night.

As the photos show, the pooled money got me on a piano (I had to be hoisted up ... diet starts TODAY), while one of the piano guys sung me a horribly raunchy song before singing me happy birthday!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

YUMMINESS ABOUNDS

I had to find a quick and easy dessert to make for last night's book club. My standard brownies had already been taken by another book club member, and so I had to fall back and punt.

I stumbled upon this website a few years back http://foodiefarmgirl.blogspot.com/, and just fell in love with every recipe she put on there. Everything she puts up is amazingly simple, looks yummy, and seems so hearty and ... well, good. I knew she'd have something I could make for book club.

Sure enough! EMERGENCY CHOCOLATE CAKE (foodiefarmgirl.blogspot.com/2005/08/chocolate-cake-emergency.html)

1/2 cup (1 stick/4ounces) butter, softened

1 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup yogurt or sour cream (or a combination)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9" x 5" loaf pan. Cream butter and sugar until smooth, 1-2 minutes. Beat in eggs one at a time. Beat in vanilla. Add dry ingredients to creamed mixture, alternating with yogurt. Beat until just smooth. Turn batter into prepared pan and bake 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean.

Do not over bake. Cool in pan. Cake may settle in the middle as it cools -- this is normal.

It rocks! Soooo moist .... soooo good .... sooooooo easy! Farm Girl ROCKS!!!!!

BOOGER, OF THE WOODFORD COUNTY BOOGERS

Last night was Book Club night, and I've got to say, the conversations we have are both riveting and scandalously entertaining! It's an absolute given that I'm going to have a fantastic time at Book Club due, in part, to the dynamic group of women that assemble for our discussions.

Last night's discussion did not disappoint. We were discussing the book FOREVER by Judy Blume, which centers around teenage sexual awareness and angst, with some corn ball for effect. Because all of us are teachers, and because most of us have some interaction with pre-teens or teens, it was inevitable that we would compare this book to our families as well as to those students that we teach.

In the course of the book chat, it was announced that a relatively infamous female that almost all of us have had some sort of contact with, was pregnant. I remember her four years ago, and I remember the worried conversations over the fact that it seemed impossible that she wouldn't NOT get pregnant at some point between then, and well, now. So, the announcement did not a surprise to any of us.

Of course, the conversation took a very spirited turn, and well, there was much laughing involved, and a pregnant teacher and book club member in our midst had to cross her legs so she didn't wet her pants.

It went something like this ...

Elly: Want to know what the boyfriend's name is? You're going to love this!

Me, Gala, Erin, and Joe (he was allowed to come back upstairs as the official discussion had broken up by that point): What?

Elly: Booger!!!

Insert a chorus of ... WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And lots of laughter here!

Me: I want a Booger for a boyfriend, but I don't want just any Booger.

Elly: You want a high-class Booger.

Me: That's right. Yes, like, Booger of the Woodford County Boogers.

Elly: Just a one named Booger?

Joe: No Booger Bob?

Me: No Booger Bobby, no Booger Joe?

Elly: No Booger Jr.?

Me: No! More like, Booger Wentworth, of the Woodford County Boogers.

Gala: She wants an Equestrian Booger.

Of course, from there, we began to surmise who would get Booger's off-spring first, because, the family will live in our district. It's going to happen.

Gala, we think, has the short end of that stick. She's a Title I teacher in reading, and well, when your dad's name is Booger ...

Friday, February 19, 2010

FRIDAY MUSINGS AND BRAIN DRAINS

My head is a wasteland of randomness. Seriously. Ask anyone. Ask my sister. She'll tell you. It's completely random up there.

Well, here. Let me just share with you what I'm talking about.

  • I wonder if they have ever lost someone in the Franklin County Justice Complex before? Every year, around my birthday, like so many other people in this great land, I have to pay a ridiculous amount of money to get a new, teeny, tiny little sticker that will go on my license plate and be a constant reminder that I just need to start biking to work. Every four years, I've got to get a new driver's license. This was that fourth year, and heaven help me, I had to make my way from the county clerk's office ... the place I KNOW how to get to ... to the driver's license office, where I don't have any clue, but where the girl in the clerk's office said was just a walk "down the hallway to your right and then it's the last door on your right." Only, the last door on your right was a stair way. Now what!?!? I really thought I was lost forever!
  • Have you ever wondered what your pet is thinking when they look at you? I wonder that all the time, mainly because when Emmy is looking at me, she is also meowing at me, and I sometimes think she's meowing things that aren't so nice, and man! I'd really like to know what those things are, if only for my own piece of mind.
  • How early is too early to eat lunch? I'm starving.
  • My birthday is on Sunday. I am throwing myself a birthday party, and I am super, way excited about it. I might even wear a tiara ... just cuz!
  • I want to treat myself to something nice like a massage, but I feel like I've got to treat myself because I've earned some sort of reward, and the only reward I can think of currently, that I deserve, is a BEST COUCH POTATO AWARD.
  • I'm midway through my 4th book of the year ... yay me!

And there you have it, folks. The randomness that prevails in my head ... and that's just a little snapshot.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

GETTING BACK TO THE BASICS

I'm getting back to the basics. I know, I know. I've said it before. But this time, I really mean it.

I'm going to do it at home and at school. I need to. I must.

Here's a perfect example ... every year, I'm wowed by some new and innovative way to teach something. They flash books and tool kits in front of my face, and before I know it, I've succumbed to the pressures of COOL and NEW, and I've purchased another book ... a book I neither have the time or motivation to read.

UGH!

Recently, it's occurred to me that perhaps I need to be masterful in the stuff I know to be true and right before I try to get all cool and new on anyone. That means I have to strip down all the stuff I save because I *might* use it one day. One day still hasn't come, and in the mean time, I'm drowning in MIGHT USE IT'S.

Oh, I look around at my home and think, "I need a change." Well, the very first change I need to make is to clean up and get rid of the clutter, and I have a lot of it ... boy do I! If I can manage to get rid of all the superfluous stuff that seems to clog the better parts of my day, I might be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel ... or at least, the foundations of my Back to the Basics.

Hmmm ... as I type this, it doesn't seem to make any sense. Perhaps I need to clean out the cob webs in my head as well ...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

47 MORE TO GO

NATURE GIRL
by Carl Hiaasen

I started reading this book last year for a book club selection, but I never finished it. And to be honest with you, I should have finished it. It was a good book ... not in the sense that it was riveting or anything. It's just that Hiaasen has a wicked sense of humor ... a warped, wicked sense of humor, to be exact, and I found myself laughing quite a bit reading the book this time around.

I'm guessing that my lack of enjoyment the first go-around had more to do with the havoc Ned and Ted Nodules were having on my emotional state than the actual writing in this novel.

This is a departure from his juvenile and youth literature, and I will tell you that this book wasn't at all what I thought it would be. I was certain there'd be loads of suspense, and a bit of Mickey Spillane to it. Not at all, and that was a pleasant surprise for me. The characters in this book were bumbling throughout the plot in many "only-my-life" sorts of episodes, which was what was so entertaining for me.

I have a friend whose husband is from this area in Florida that Hiaasen writes about in his books, and he swears people are just like the characters in them. I'm not sure whether to be entertained or seriously frightened.

Anyway, I am going to be picking up and reading, very soon, Strip Tease, another of Hiaasen's adult reads, and I hope that it isn't what it seems as well. I like to be pleasantly surprised as well as entertained.

Overall, an enjoyable read, folks. Take it with you on Spring Break, especially if you are going to Florida!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

FRESH SPINACH AND VEGGIES PIZZA

Well, I meant to take a picture of this lovely creation before I dig into it, but ... well ... it just didn't happen ... like a lot of things lately.

This was a pretty much BY SCRATCH recipe, and it was super, super easy to make. My mother has a great pizza dough recipe that is quick and easy. All together, start to finish, this recipe maybe took an hour. I'd say that is pretty good in my book.

While the dough is rising and doing its thing, you can begin to assemble the veggies.

I used fresh spinach, which is the best and easiest way to do it, if you want my humble opinion. I chopped up green onion/scallions, green olives, and used some the stir-fry pepper mix that I had in the freezer.

When the dough was done rising, I rubbed it with virgin olive oil and chopped garlic (I use the garlic in the jar ... so much easier to deal with for me). Then I put the tomato sauce on, sprinkled the onion, olives, and peppers, layered the fresh spinach on top, and then topped it all with mozzarella cheese.

It baked in the oven for 25 minutes and came out perfectly! I have enough left over for at least four more meals, and more than likely five, if I am careful how I divide the pizza out.

I highly recommend this pizza ... soooooo good! Sooooo easy!

Monday, February 15, 2010

TAXES ... GRRRR!

This is my brain on TAXES ...





This is central command ...





This is what I'd really like to be doing with my taxes ...




The good news is, they are done, and both the federal and state governments have accepted them. WAHOO!!

SNOW DAY

Saturday, February 13, 2010

A VALENTINES TACTICAL ERROR OF COLOSSAL PROPORTIONS

I was sent to Pier 1 Imports today by the parental units, who had me on a birthday fact-finding mission for them. There I was ... in the middle of the store ... with half of Frankfort's male and taken population, who have all obviously waited until the last minute to buy their sweeties a Valentines gift.

So, there I was, in Pier 1 Imports, me and all the desperate men of the world -- desperation is not attractive, by the way. Not by a long shot -- and here comes a dad and his two kids. Clearly, he thought this would be a fun outing. A daddy-child bonding event. Perhaps a little lunch at a local eatery afterward. Better be some alcoholic drinks involved, by the looks of things, dude, because I'm guessing that the thought never occurred to him that this whole idea might just be a tactical error. Of course, the wife TOTALLY knew what was going to happen, but she's not saying a word, because frankly, it gets the kiddos out of the house for a while and out of her hair.

So, there I was, witnessing the downfall of this man's Rainbow Colored-Glasses dream of "picking out a nice Valentines Day gift for mommy." He had two kids, which I didn't realize at first, and the reason I didn't realize this will be explained a little later on. But the little boy, I guessed to be about 4 years old, and he had obviously, been dipping into the Conversation Hearts early, because he didn't walk around the store so much as bounced off everything around the store ... like a pin-ball machine.

Tactical error #1 was waiting until the last minute to buy mommy a gift.

Tactical error #2 was bringing the kids along and dragging them into his desperation.

Tactical error #3, and the one that I think is the most grievous of them all, was steering them toward anything that was glass, which is exactly what he did, God bless his heart.

Every time Daddy said, "Hey do you think Mommy would like this?" the little boy would grab something glass, fragile, and costly and squeal at the top of his lungs, "OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!! MOMMY WOULD LIKE THIS!"

To which, Daddy would say in a slightly panicked voice, "Hey, hey, hey. Put that down. Let's not touch anything glass or breakable, okay?"

Tactical error #4 was continually asking the 4 year old if "Mommy would like this," because that would only screw the excitement level up ten notches on Touchy-Feely boy.

"Guys, guys. Why do I have to keep telling you 'Hey, hey, hey'? Huh?" And that's when I saw the older sister, who, my guess was 6 or 7. She had plunked herself in front of the Art Deco vanity which is entirely covered in glass -- not my style, but very vintage. She was staring into the three-sided mirror, intently watching herself dig her nose. I use the word dig here because I couldn't see her forefinger ... the one that was apparently lost inside her nose. So, the suggestion Daddy made of going to get him a basket to hold his finds was totally lost on Sister, because she was mesmerized by her reflection and nose-picking technique.

It's at this point in the story that I must admit that my mouth almost got the better of me ... again! For it was at this exact, I had to force myself NOT to shout, "TACTICAL ERROR, DADDY! PULL UP, PULL UP!!!"

Friday, February 12, 2010

SINGLES NIGHT AT THE GROCERY STORE

Earlier, my cousin bemoaned the fact on Facebook that she needed to go to the grocery store tonight, but that she really didn't feel like it.

Oh I jumped on that one (says the girl that was in her pajamas by 6:00 p.m. and a total computer couch potato soon there after) with both feet, informing my single cousin that she needed to go tonight as Friday nights are when all the single men go shopping.

And it's true! I go shopping plenty of Friday nights -- I started that little tradition after I spent one too many Saturday mornings in the grocery with a.) all the moms and their screaming kids AND b.) all the moms that have left their screaming kids at home and are seeking refuge at their local Walmart for the next 15 hours, if they can stop their husbands from calling them every other second.

My theory is that if you can shop when it is almost deserted, Kroger becomes a middle heaven, of sorts.

But it was only after I decided to save my sanity that I realized that me and pretty much A LOT of single man were shopping there as well (and I've tested this theory out in two states, ladies and gentlemen, and it has played out well in both states). Well, that was a happy little accident that I was willing to live with, let me just tell you.

Of course, my mother and I begin a conversation on Facebook, and she's eager to know why her single daughter is doling out single male advice to her single niece, whilst her aforementioned single daughter is sitting on her butt at home ... in her pajamas.

Two words for my mother VALENTINES PARTY.

This, of course, launched me into a "I don't have a list, mom, and I can't go to the store without a list because you and I both know how ugly that will turn out. I end up buying things like bulk gallon jugs of virgin olive oil and Tucks medicated wipes ... none of which I will ever need."

But my mother has an answer for everything, that one does. And her answer to this particular dilemma was, "Just push the cart around. You don't actually have to buy something."

"Yes, but mother, an empty cart in the middle of Kroger will draw some suspicious glances, and then I'll end up being like that guy in the college library when I was undergrad ... the one that carried books around but never open them and was later arrested for fondling college co-eds with his feet."

"Okay, okay!" See I can even hear her frustrated motherly tone over Facebook waves. "Okay, so you stick a thing of butter in your cart. That always looks good."

"How does that look good? What about chocolate milk and tampons? Does that look good?"

"Chocolate milk, yes. Tampons, a definite no."


And there you have it, folks. Singles Night at the local grocery store. Kid tested. Mother approved.

SUGAR, SWEET SUGAR!!

It's Valentines Day party day in my classroom ... or, as I like to call it, "HOW MANY CAVITIES CAN I ENCOURAGE IN ONE DAY'S TIME."

Usually, I try to make one treat and call it good. But, as my mother pointed out, "you do have a history of getting sick on holiday parties and then the poor kids get nothing on that day."

She's right, of course. I got the stomach flu two years ago on Valentines Day, and I had made their treats. Poor kids ... they didn't have any party that day. I felt so badly.

So, this time around, I just thought, "Oh lump it! Bring all the crap you want to in! I don't care!"

And boy do we ever have a room full of sugar!!!

I've already given them a frosting-filled cookie, the likes of which I'm pretty sure the bakery needed an FAA clearance to make, and juice for snack. After lunch, we're going to have the Valentines party. They will get to choose three items of pure sugar. The rest goes into a baggie that they can take home.

Oh let's be real here! They are going to snarf it down on the way to the bus or sneak it on the bus, and you and I both know, someone is going to toss their Conversation Hearts all over a bus somewhere between here and home.

No skin off my nose because I will be sipping something strong and mood-altering from a festive, red water bottle with a curly, heart-shaped straw in it!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

STICKING MY FOOT IN MY PROVERBIAL MOUTH

I put the following status on my Facebook page yesterday evening:

"Saw Phil Pendleton of WKYT News at Kmart today buying a BUTT WAD of toilet paper, and for the briefest of moments, thought about shouting out something snarky regarding the news media and the need for so much toilet paper. Then I thought better of it, displaying a modicum of decorum, given the situation and my obvious upbringing as a socially acceptable 'young lady'."

I got a reply from the lead pastor of my church, Rick Long. I swear, I need to watch what I say, because, nine times out of ten, it's gonna come back and bite me in my butt.

Case in point!

It would seem that Phil Pendleton of WKYT News is a super good friend of my pastor's, and, in fact, they were college roommates. Seems that Mr. Pendleton had just been visiting with Pastor Rick at his office at the church. What I saw was more than likely a guy doing an errand for his wife.

And here is where it gets really good ... Pastor Rick, being Pastor Rick, is going to tell Mr. Phil Pendleton about my Facebook status, because, and I quote, "he'll think it's hilarious."

So, I guess I've blown my "obvious upbringing as a socially acceptable young lady."

ODE TO WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ... DUDE COULD WRITE SOME HOT SONNETS

Because I was an English major in college ... and because it's almost Valentines Day ... and because, let's face it, good ole Will Shakespeare wrote some hot and steamy sonnets, I present to you ...

Shall I Compare Thee
by William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
Thou are more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And Summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd:
But thy eternal Summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

WHEN YOU'RE PUTTING OFF DOING ALL THE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS ON A SNOW DAY


AHHHH, BREAKFAST IN BED. TOO BAD I HAD TO SERVE MYSELF

Another snow day.

Not sure how I feel about this. I mean, who doesn't love to get another hour of sleep, which is what I ultimately did? Right?

But it also means that I must now pay back TWO precious Spring Break days, not just one. And that just isn't going to be pretty, no matter which way you spread the sunshine on that little bit of toast.

My alarm went off, like it always does, at 4:55 a.m. ... unless you count the alarm previously heard out there on Georgetown Road. The alarm that sounds like a giant, mutant jackhammer that is methodically pounding out Morse Code for "GET OUT OF THAT BED, MURRAY!" on the poor road that never did anything to anyone ... or as they like to call it down here, snow plows doing their thing at 3 a.m.

So, I turned on the TV like I always do at this time of the morning, and immediately, the newscasters started talking about the newest Armageddon that has arrived in the Bluegrass in the form of 4 inches of snow, and I was all like, "Well, whew! Glad I braved the elements and got my bread and 51 other random items at the grocery last night. It's an Armageddon out there!"

And it was about that time that it scrolled across the TV screen ... no school. But I hadn't gotten The Call yet, and this year, we're suppose to get a call. So, I waited, and I got hungry. And I made myself peanut butter toast and coffee, and took it up to bed with me and snuggled in and thought, "This could just be the most pitiful thing on Earth, making your own breakfast in bed." But then I fell asleep and never got a call.

So, either a call was never made. Or I'm in big trouble tomorrow.

Either way, breakfast in bed is a glorious thing ...

Monday, February 08, 2010

48 MORE TO GO

FOREVER
By Judy Blume

I read this book, not for the joy of reading, so much as it was the book my book club chose to read. Now, before you go all, "WHAT THE HECK?!?!?" on me, please know that this book choice was born from a very humorous conversation that I am not at liberty to discuss in this blog post. Just know it was funny.

At any rate, I love Judy Blume, and so I thought I would love this book.

Not so much.

God bless you, Judy Blume, but I intensely disliked this book for all the whiny, prepubescent-ness it oozed. And maybe that is the crux of the whole argument for why I so intensely despised it ... because I was an almost 38 year old reading a book that only a 14 year old could relate to.

I vividly remember all the other Judy Blume books I've read ... Hello, God, It's Me Margaret? Loved that book! It resonated with me. I remember reading Tiger Eyes, a scandalous book my mother would have torn from my hot, sweaty little patties had she known I was reading it (sorry, Mom), and I remember dog-earing the "good parts" to refer back to later. HA! I don't remember either being insipid and whiny and UGH!

But then again, it was a different time, a different age, and I was a different person.

So, perhaps, I wasn't meant to read Young Adult books as a quickly aging (according to my sister) woman. Maybe, this book would have been magical when I was younger, say some 24 years ago (stifle the gasp of horror).

I mean, after all, I'm still trying to figure how The Who got to be such old farts. When did that happen?

NOT IN THE MOOD AND OTHER MONDAY MUSINGS

I woke up not being in the mood today. I wasn't in the mood to make breakfast ... wasn't in the mood to make decisions on clothing choices ... wasn't in the mood for hair and makeup ... wasn't in the mood for dealing with the ice on my windshield ... for dealing with traffic ... for dealing with people. I hate when I wake up like that .. especially on a Monday, because I have a laundry list of STUFF that must be done.

I need to beg, borrow, or steal someone's motivation.

Perhaps it's the gray, COLD, snowy weather that's zapping my desire to care. And just in time for more snow and gray yuckiness tonight. Oh goody!

On another, more frustrating note, I'm going to look at more apartments today. I looked at this property in the fall and fell in love with it. However, now, I've seen more things that I don't like in my current neighborhood (countless police visits recently), and I've decided that perhaps I need to suck it up, find some extra cash somewhere, and just go ahead and move out!

Except, and this is where it gets annoying ... the floor plans I looked at back in the fall, that I fell in love with, are all rented out, and, yep, you guessed it, the prices on the current floor plans are more expensive. BONUS!

And in unison, I'd like you to repeat, "Welcome to Megan's life!"

I'm dragging Erin along. I'm hoping she'll be a voice of reason for me, whilst I'm running through the apartments squealing, "OOOOHHHH LOOK HOW PRETTY!" She might be able to knock me down a peg or two and remind me of the need to breathe deeply before making any major financial moves.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

DENTAL WORK FOR THE CAT

I think my cat needs braces.

I discovered this after realizing that she'd been smacking her lips in an odd way for a day and half. Naturally, I fought with her to pry open her mouth just to see one missing tooth, and another one that is hanging at a precarious angle.

A call home to Michigan to the parents, who are completely unqualified to advise anyone on the periodontal health of man or beast, confirms she might still be losing baby teeth.

I don't know. I've been envisioning retainers and bite splints and teeny, tiny little kitty braces, which all add up to major bucks.

Why doesn't someone genetically engineer a self-cleaning animal? That is what I want to know.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

PLANNING MY OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY

I hit upon an idea this morning ... brilliant in its simplicity. I've decided that I'm going to plan my own birthday party.

Why not!? It's 2010 ... I'm a modern woman. I can plan my own birthday party if I want to.

So, I invited a bunch of my girlfriends, and whoever can come is invited to The Penguin Piano Bar. I've always wanted to go, and I figure, why not! I mean, after you get past the age of, say, 21, no one really plans birthday parties for you anyway. So why not plan one for yourself, right?

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

HMMMM ...

I wonder how noticeable a bottle of Soft Red and a curly straw would be in class tonight???

IT'S BEEN A DAY

My principal thinks I'm wound a little bit tight.

I get myself into these situations that call for me to fix things, but all my fix manages to do is make me look like I've been wound tighter than an eight-day clock ... like all I do is worry about insignificant drivel.

I hate that he thinks that about me. I hate that anyone thinks that I'm going to get my panties in a bundle over stupid crap.

Over monumental issues like animal cruelty or world peace or children's rights or women's rights? Yes! Bundle those babies up! Impact them if you've gotta ... but silly crap? Inconsequential stuff?

I'm not that surface ... I'm not that self-absorbed.

I would hope that any one recognizes that I am just a bit more 3-dimensional than that. That I have brain, and I'm not afraid to use it. That I'm intelligent and articulate ... most of the time. That I care deeply, but only about things that have deeper meaning.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

DAY TWO OF NO WORK KEYS

I've lost my work keys ...

I haven't a clue where they are at. I've searched every where I can think they would be -- tops on the list was the pocket in my bag they ALWAYS go into when I'm done with them at the end of the day.

Gone. Nothing.

So, I'm wondering at what point I will need to fess up to my principal, and then, subsequently shell out the money for new keys?

Monday, February 01, 2010

SHE JUST USED DELIGHTFUL AND WALMART IN THE SAME SENTENCE!

I've decided to vote for a snow storm -- or rather a snow of 5 inches -- every Saturday.

Why, you ask?

Well, because, I went to Walmart, at the height of the Saturday craziness ... and there was NO ONE AROUND. I shopped at my own pace with just the sounds of the birds chirping overhead and the Walmart workers chatting amiably.

No screaming kids.

No yelling mothers.

No obnoxious Saturday shoppers.

Just pure snowy, winter wonderland heaven. Pure heaven.

Yes, this is when it's good to be a Northern Girl.

ONLY 49 MORE TO GO

The Blue Bottle Club
By Penelope J. Stokes
I wasn't sure what to think of this book, when I first started reading it. The premise definitely grabbed me and got me interested, but then, when I read the book flap, I realized that it was written by a Christian writer. Lest you think I'm an awful person, I just shy away from Christian writers, as a genre, as most of the books tend to be over the top sappy, and I just don't like over the top sappy.
However, this book surprised me. It got the message across without being either sappy or over the top.
The author, Penelope J. Stokes, took each woman's story and made it a section of the book, which I liked. I think my most favorite story was Ellie's -- although, I have to admit, I related to Tish's story as well.
Over all, it was a nice, easy read. Nothing monumental ... nothing earth-shattering ... just a good, solid read.

GOTTA LOVE MONDAYS

Mercifully, I didn't make it to work at my normal, crazy 6:30 a.m. time. If I had, I would have frozen to death in my truck until someone showed up at their normal time of like, say, 7:00 a.m. or after.

Why, you ask?

Because I can't find my work keys ... ANYWHERE!

They were in my bag when I left school on Friday night ... yes, I said night. Somewhere between Friday night and this morning, with a cat crawling inside the bag in between, I've lost my keys.

Yes, I think, the cat had something to do with this, but I'm just not sure.

Anyway, that's top on my list when I get home this afternoon ... at a decent hour, I might add.