Tuesday, October 31, 2006

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ... BAH-FRIGGIN'-HUM-BUG!

I think it is common knowledge that Halloween is not my favorite holiday. It has nothing to do with some sort of deep-seated religious issues, either. It's merely that since I've become a grown-up, I detest the amazingly sickening gluttonous candy fest that occurs each year.

Don't get me wrong! When I was a child, I LOVED going around our neighborhood and gathering as much of the sugar booty as possible. It was always better going with Dad, too, as he let us go to more houses. And while she feigned shock, secretly, I think my mom was okay with that. There a came a point where I believe she enjoyed the idea of relaxing at home without her kids in her hair for a glorious 45 minutes to an hour. Isn't this every parent's dream?

The other thing was that we had creative costumes. We talked about it for weeks leading up to Halloween ... gathered the materials ... helped mom pick out the patterns. Laura Ingalls, Little Bo Peep, Johnny Appleseed, a nurse ... these were all costumes I've donned in years past. My mother would have rather gone out and bought bags of candy to then feed to us by the spoon fulls than send us out with a pillow case and no costume. That was just not what we did.

I think this is why I resent the holiday today. I, very much, dislike those middle school and high school students that come to my door, in jeans and t-shirt, and shove a pillow case in my face. Then, when I don't toss into their grubby loot-holder the appropriate candy selection, they complain as if they were seated at the finest restuarant.

The other thing I abhor are the parents of infants, i.e., toothless beings without the means of digesting strained carrots let alone a giant 3 Muskateers Bar. PAHLEEEZE! Are you planning on saving all those sweets for your child's first birthday? UMMMM ... NO!!!! Go home. You've been a child ... you've done the Halloween thing. Leave me the candy for the little guys.

So, this year, as I've done in years past, I turned off the front light. I sat in the dark, and I waited for the cursed holiday to be done.

I do miss handing out candy to those "special kids." My friends little ones and my cousins ... so Cassie, Katie, Korey, Tamry and Kasey, I'm sending you my hugs!!! I know, they aren't as good as candy, but they're what will handle a trip across two states and through the internet wires.

Happy Friggin Halloween!

Monday, October 30, 2006

INDIAN SUMMER


I found this leaf on the playground today, while I was enjoying what, sadly, will be our only day of Indian Summer, I'm afraid. It was a gorgeous, sunny, 70-degree day. I drank up as much of the crunchy-leaf sounds and the fresh smell of balmy air that I could.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

RANDOM THOUGHT SUNDAY

RT #1 ... In case I was uncertain of the significance of my new home, I was made very aware this morning as I drove to church ... as I passed a pickup truck with two guys in uniforms. So what? Well, this particular pick up had CHURCHILL DOWNS plastered on both sides! Still unclear ... ummm, does the Kentucky Derby ring a bell!?!? They turned into a fancy-dancy horse farm as I sped along to church.

RT #2 ... I FINALLY cleaned out the rest of the guest bedroom. Maddie "helped." Her kind of help I don't need!
















RT# 3 ... Closets are a thing of beauty! They hide all the crap you don't a.) know what to do with and b.) don't want anyone else to see! God bless the person that invented closets!!!

RT #4 ... How can a mountain of dirty laundry be condensed to one laundry basket full of clean clothes? This I don't understand ...

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

What do you do when the sun is finally shining and the temperature is half-way decent? You get all up in the neighbors' business, that's what!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

TIMBEEEERRRRRRRR!

I have a bad ankle ... had it since I was a very little girl, when I jumped off my cousin's dresser and sprained my ankle badly. Actually, in hindsight, I probably tore some important parts in there, but what did I know back then.

Ever since then, that ankle has been prone to spraining. A few years back, the ligaments and tendons finally just gave out on me. They'd had the crap stretched out of them, and they just didn't feel like holding the ankle into place. So, I had physical therapy.

All was well, for the most part, until last night when I decided to move my garbage can out to the curb in a pair of jaunty, but highly impractical boots. Well, let's just say that I hit a patch of uneven ground and fell like a giant oak, hitting the earth with an enormous thud! Oh yeah, and a big crack rang out from the old ankle.

I was up at four this morning in severe pain. Good times! Good thing I had three different kinds of ankle braces from which to choose. Massive amounts of ibuprofen and a constricting ankle brace later, and I think I can make it through the day ... I think.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

RESENTING HER EXISTENCE

I really hate my cat this morning!

I rolled into my place last night from a very, VERY, VERY late meeting. Okay, maybe it wouldn't have been late if I'd not taken the route via Memphis to the east side of Lexington, but it was late when you have to get up at 5 a.m. the next morning.

I got my coffee maker ready, made my lunch, washed my face, and I think I got my pajamas on, and then I fell into bed. I'm not entirely sure I felt my head hit the pillow.

The alarm went off at 5 a.m., with out fail this morning, **DANG IT,** and Maddie springs from bed like there's no effort involved in getting out of bed. While, I, on the otherhand, literally drag my aching body from the bed as if I've just experienced the world's worst hangover.

I stumble into the bathroom with Maddie prancing around me self-righteously. I take my shower, hoping upon hope that the "Energize" soap I have will do what it promises ... it doesn't. Meanwhile, Maddie continues to do cirlce 8s and 9s and 10s on the bathroom floor, bounding over to the sink when I get out of the shower, and practically pounds her paw on the vanity, waiting for her morning drink from the sink.

I towel off, grab something to throw on, and head for the kitchen, the fastest I've moved all morning at the mere thought of caffeine. I eat breakfast, fighting the urge to fall asleep with my eyes wide open, and finally, after I begin to feel half-human, I drag myself back upstairs to put on my face.

Apparently, the act of dragging myself, has disturbed Miss Thing from a nap, because as I stumble into my room, she jerks her head up from her furry little ball of cat self and gives me the most evil look known to man. "Excuse me! I'm sleeping!" She seems to hiss at me.

I resent her existence, because I know she's home ... right this very minute ... curled up on a warm, cozy, down comforter, snoring soundly! Stupid little beast!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

RANDOM THOUGHT SUNDAY

Many random thoughts rolling around in my head tonight. I thought I would share them with you.

R.T. #1: Did you know that you should put your nail polish in your refrigerator to keep it from clumping? I didn't know this. I never got the memo. It would seem that my fashion memos never make to my in-box.

R.T. #2: I bought "big girl" shoes yesterday. They are a departure from my normal immature footwear, i.e., flip flops, but I had a number of slacks that required a step up in footwear sophistication. I tried to upload some photos, but for some reason, Blogger doesn't like me tonight, so you can't see them in all their mature glory. You will just have to imagine them.

R.T. #3: Don't you wish you knew the stories that go on behind the doors of your neighbor's homes? I look at all the numerous doors on all the numerous townhomes on my street, and I sort of wish I knew what the stories were. What is the story, for instance, on the woman that has just shown up at the neighbor's to my east? Has she always been there and I just never noticed? I ask this, because she is coming in and out of his place like she's always lived there. Where was she hiding then?

R.T. #4: How can I still be flicking box elder bugs out of my truck a week AFTER my trip back from Michigan? We've had a frost and everything? How can this be? Are they really mutant aliens trying to overtake our world?

R.T. #5: The road sign out in front of Keeneland Race Track in Lexingtom tickles me to death. It reads: DRIVE THRU BETTING. As my sister pointed out, this sign has tickled me to death every time I've passed by it, and apparently, that has been quite a few times. Sad part of it is, I don't remember it before this.

R.T. #6: I need to do something to exercise my mind. I can't remember anything lately (please refer to R.T. #5).

R.T. #7: Why do I seem to attract dumb animals to my home? Case in point, Maddie just spent 20 minutes behind a piece of furniture that she squeezed behind, but then couldn't get herself out of until I remembered she was back there and rescued her. Normal cats just don't do stuff like that!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

STARTLED BY A PRAYING MANTIS




I was sitting at my computer; Maddie was on the window sill. We were both enjoying a lovely, sunny, somewhat balmy Saturday afternoon when out of nowhere a slow moving praying mantis lit on the screen. It startled both of us, Maddie more so. When she's startled, she lets out this squeak sort of sound coinciding with a spastic jump or jolt, which is what she did, which is what resulted in me being startled. We both sat watching for a bit before Maddie became completely bored with the whole thing and decided to listen in to the conversation of the neighbors outside. She's my neighborhood watch, and, could she talk, she'd gossip like a fiend!

The second photo shows the "man" of the hour just hanging out on the screen. The first one is a photo of Maddie listening in on the conversation below. The third photo is of the praying mantis just to the right of Maddie's right ear. She is already showing signs of boredom.

Friday, October 20, 2006

PASS ME THE KLEENEX PLEASE

What a pleasant surprise! While channel surfing earlier, I discovered STEEL MAGNOLIAS was playing on Lifetime.

I just love STEEL MAGNOLIAS. I thought Olympia Dukakis and Shirley MacLaine were hysterical. Their characters, Clairee Belcher and Ouiser Boudreaux, delivered some of the best one liners ever! I mean, who couldn't just love Ouiser Boudreaux to pieces? The woman is tough as nails and as irreverent as the day is long. I LOVE HER!

But what really gets me about that movie ... what always gets me ... is the cemetery scene. That, in my humble opinion, was just brilliant! Sally Field's performance in that scene was just brilliant. Every single time I watch it, that scene grabs me, shakes me, and won't let me go until it's over. I end up in tears, as I did tonight. If you can watch a show over and over again, and it can still make you laugh and cry in all the right spots, then, I believe, you have yourself a solidly, good movie.

One of my favorite lines from the movie is when Shelby announces to her mother that she is having a baby. M'Lynn is less than pleased with this news as she knows Shelby's pregnancy could send her already poor health into a downward spiral. After the two of them argue over what can't really be changed, Shelby tells her mother: "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. " What a powerful line ...

Thursday, October 19, 2006

LAZY SLUGS


This is a brilliant example of what Maddie the Cat and I were today ... big, fat, lazy slugs.

I'm blaming it on the weather. The dreary, gray, rainy day sucked every ounce of motivation from my body. Not entirely sure what Maddie the Cat's excuse is ...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

SCARY DRIVE HOME

I went down to Versailles to borrow Ann's shop vac tonight. Seems a BUNCH of my "Amazon jungle" tipped over on the ride back from Michigan, and there was dirt everywhere!

On my drive back, I was rocking with the radio, enjoying the evening (even if the nights are getting darker earlier and earlier), but being very, very careful to watch for those rogue Kentucky deer. All of a sudden, a car that had, up to this point, been following waaaaaaay behind me, sped up, and was practically on my tail. I started getting nervous as this had happened to me a long time ago on my way home from Jackson (in MI) ... the idiot was drunk, and he scared the crap right out of me. Much like the last time, this car tonight, kept falling back and then racing right up on top of me ... then falling back, and then racing right up on top of me again.

I was beginning to get annoyed, when the driver finally decided to pass me. When they were right next to me, I decided to turn and see who was in the car. It was too dark, but as soon as I turned, the driver backed way off, and fell behind me again. Of course, this completely spooked me! I grabbed my cell phone, unlocked the keys, and had my thumb right on the 9 button.

As I drove into town, I tried to jockey myself so that the street lights and other signage would illuminate the car behind me so that I could possibly give a good description of the driver to the police, if I needed to do so. It was at that point that I saw the glint off both fuzzy, curly white heads. Two elderly ladies!!!! I was being "chased" by two old women!!!

After my heartbeat slowed down to normal limits, I got a good chuckle out of that one. But perhaps somewhere in Kentucky, two grandmas are out on a crime spree!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

UPDATE ON CRAZY NEIGHBOR

I came home from vacation to find out that my crazy neighbor had vacated the premises ... permanently. Save for some cool lawn furniture and a few garbage bags, the lady is gone.

The property manager tells me that she's "got a lot of problems." Not only does she work for the state of Kentucky (working with parolees), she has spent the last two years going through a very nasty divorce. She does have a boyfriend that lives in the area, but my property manager just doesn't understand what has happened to her. Apparently, I broke the news to her this morning when I called to see if I could have the left behind lawn furniture.

I'm guessing that all the pounding on doors, etc., has something to do with her nasty divorce, her job, or her boyfriend. Either way, I've got some nice lawn furniture out of the deal! Not a bad day, I would say.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE OLD WHEN ... PART 2

You know you are old when your 15-year old cousin (currently residing two states away) must set up your myspace account because you are too dumb to figure it out for yourself!

Thank you, Kasey. I really am Hopelessly UnHip!

Monday, October 16, 2006

SADDLE SORES AND BUTT ACHES

I made it back to Kentucky without much adventure, save for this little guy to the left here.

Why on earth would I include him in my blog? Well, because he and about 25 of his closest friends were my traveling companions today!

In my hometown, this time of year, these little guys come out in droves. They are nuisances more than anything because they seem to procreate by the nanosecond.

Besides going home to see family and friends, I was also going to bring back with me some of the things that just didn't make it on the moving van, i.e., the AMAZON JUNGLE I had at my old house. Who knew I had so many house plants?!?

My parents kept most of my plants in the empty house, but some of them, they brought back to their house, currently over-run by box elder bugs. I dutifully packed them in my truck this morning, hoping upon hope that all the little dears stayed in Michigan where they seem to like it best. That hope was dashed about an hour after I left Albion, and the first one flitted into my lap.

If anyone hears of any box elder bug infiltrations along I-69, Indiana 9, I-74, 275, or 75 south, I know nothing!! It wasn't me that was constantly cranking her window down and tossing those cursed beings out into the elements or swerving all over the roadway when one flew near her face! No ... not me! As far as anyone is concerned, those stupid, little bugs migrated south for the winter.

Meanwhile, I didn't drag all the plants inside when I got home this afternoon. It was rainy, and I wasn't in the mood. So, I think the rest of the group is still partying down in my truck.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

GOOD BYE MICHIGAN ... UNTIL CHRISTMAS

Tomorrow, I head back to Kentucky. It's been great here visiting family and friends. I've had a blast. Do know that if ever you are in my area, you have a place to stay.

Thanks to Mom and Dad, Uncle Ev, Aunt Ida, Deb, Laurie, Lisa, Dar, Barb (and daughter-in-law and grandbaby), Carrie (and baby Fisher), Denise, Sam, Katie and Cassie, Margot, Joanne (and a nice bonus visit with Tom), Krista, Stacy, Chris, Roberta, Rhonda, Becky, the Albion Kiwanis Club, the Friday noon Cool Kids Club, and everyone else I may have forgotten for wonderful conversation this week. It was great to see you all!

I go back with what I'm sure is a small case of frostbite, a bit of wind burn and some sun burn thrown in for good measure, a truck load of house plants, and a week's worth of great memories!
Love to you all! And stay tuned for more Kentucky adventures ... there are sure to be many!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

IO TRIUMPHE! IO TRIUMPHE!

"Io Triumphe! Io Triumphe!
Haben Swaben rebecca le animor
Whoop te whoop te sheller de-vere
De-boom de ral de-i de-pa--
Hooneka Henaka whack a whack
A-hob dob balde bora bolde bara
Con slomade hob dob Rah!
Al-bi-on Rah!"

What the heck does that all mean? I'm not really sure, but it's my alma mater's cheer, and I heard it today in all of it's homecoming glory. Yep, I was at Homecoming 2006. For those that know me well, they might be a little bit surprised that I graced my college's campus for homecoming. See, I spent three long years working for my alma mater, and I spent many a frantic day leading up to homecoming working my tail off. I swore I would never go to another homecoming event as a "civilian." I think moving away has messed with my head, because nostalgia set in, and before I knew it, I was choking up at the sight of the British Eighth marching down Hannah Street playing our fight song ... and, even coughing up the money for a homecoming t-shirt. Considering I used to get them for free, that was a big investment for me. I'm getting soft!

It was, I will admit, one of the coldest homecoming games on record ... at least my record. Even so, I managed to get a bit of a sun burn/wind burn on the face. So, I can go back to Kentucky with a little sun despite the frigid temps. Sure wish the Brits could have pulled it together for a victory, though.

A shout out to Stacy and Chris and Roberta ... great seeing you even for just a little bit. Next time, it will be longer.

A shout out to Krista ... girlfriend, it was soooo good seeing you. It's been way too long. I will make it out to Maine ... some day.

Finally, a couple of shouts out to Denise, Sam, and the girls. It was great to spend the day with you. The check is in the mail, and I can't wait to hang out with you guys again. Remember, you've got a place to stay in Kentucky if you're in my neck of the woods.

Friday, October 13, 2006

BRRRRRR ... PART 2

Oh my gosh!!! I am SOOOOO COLD!!!! I have never consumed as much coffee as I've consumed over the last couple of days, and for those folks that know me well, consuming coffee is "no big thang." At this point, I think I could float away on a caffeine river for all the java I've injested. I'M STILL NOT WARM!!!!

I have loved spending time with friends and family, but I've got to tell you all, I can't wait to get back to Kentucky where the temperatures are a bit warmer ... I hope!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

SANS WINTER COAT




Well, this is what greeted us this morning ... and me without a winter coat. Now, I can remember as a child trick or treating in the snow. However, I can't recall ever seeing snow this early ... not in southern Michigan.

The first snow always makes the kids crazy, and my Michigan teaching buddies Carrie and Laurie say that today was no exception. The kids at WGE had the FIRST SNOW CRAZIES!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING OLD WHEN

During my travels in Michigan, I've been dying to go to a few old haunts. Items on my "to do list" have included:

**Sweet Seasons Apple Orchard for some homemade doughnuts (check!)
**Addington Hills Cafe (check!)
**Amazing Grace Antiques (check!)
**St. Julian's Wine Tasting (still gotta do)

Today, I went to Amazing Grace Antiques! My mom and I wandered around in there for a while, ooohing and aaahing over all the cool, retro stuff. They really do have neat things.

"Hey Meg! Look at this. Did I finally throw these out or give them to Goodwill?" Mom stood holding a soft, plastic Pillsbury Dough Boy.

"Umm, I think you took them to Goodwill. I know we had two of them."

"That's right. Both you and Ann had one."

"How much is it?"

"Eight dollars."

"Wow," I sighed. "You know you are getting old when you start seeing your childhood toys in antique stores, and they're valuable."

My mom just laughed. No denying the fact that I was getting old ... just laughed, and said, "Yep, I suspect there's a blog about this."

Darn right! I'm not old enough to have stuff in antique malls and shops. That's still for all my grandparents' and parents' old stuff. Certainly nothing I grew up with! I'm not that old ... am I?

Wait a second! Don't answer that!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

BRRRRR!!

I'm soft ... I will admit it. It took me exactly two months to get that way, too.

When I left my home in Kentucky, it was a glorious 70 degrees with the promise of a warm week ahead. When I arrived in Michigan, it was a chilly 60 degrees with the threat of snow in the forcast. I'm sitting here in a wool blend turtle neck sweater and jeans with lace up shoes (a feat for me because, other than tennis shoes, my feet have seen only flip flops this year) ... and I'm currently waiting for the coffee to stop brewing so I can drink the hot liquid. I'm freezing!

Monday, October 09, 2006

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN HOUR FROM HOME WHEN ...

You know you are an hour from home when you start seeing deer carcasses all over the road way. AH ... Michigan!

I left when summer was in full swing. I've come back for a visit with fall in full swing, and boy is it! They are calling for snow later on this week! Great! And me without my winter gear. How soon a Michigan girl gets soft when she moves south ...

Saturday, October 07, 2006

I SEE THE MOON; DOES THE MOON SEE ME?

CSI ... TAKE TWO

Okay, so as my friend Carrie so aptly put it, last night was the makings of a great CSI episode. Those that know me well know that I just LOVE LOVE the original CSI. Those that know me well know that Iwant to marry Nick Stokes ... but that's a blog entry for another time.

The whole point of this blog right now is to say ... APPARENTLY MY NEIGHBOR AND HER FAMILY/FRIENDS DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF CALLING AHEAD!!!!!! Yes, twit boy was just here again. Only this time, he just banged incessently and obnoxiously for five minutes rather than the 20 minute door banging fest last night. Doesn't matter, it interrupted some good REM sleep. Stupid idiot!

All I've got to say is that someone better get a clue soon or I'm going to get nasty!

HAVE YOU HEARD YOUR NEIGHBOR MOVING AROUND AT ALL?

So, I was uploading photos for last night's blog entries, when I was rudely disturbed by an obnoxious banging on my neighbor's door. The banging was immediately followed by a man frantically calling out my neighbor's name. This went on for probably 10 to 15 minutes, and, I must say, I was completely put out by the interruption in an otherwise quiet Friday evening.

I was just getting ready to be obnoxious myself, when I noticed an officer pulling into the parking lot RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY KITCHEN WINDOW (when it was all said and done, there were two units here)!!!

Like the nosey neighbor that I am, I went down stairs and busied myself in the kitchen, which really, I needed to busy myself to get laundry done. Within minutes, the cop was flashing his flashlight in my kitchen window and motioning for me to come to the door.

Office J. Roberts said to me, with a very solemn look on his face, "Have you heard your neighbor moving around next door in the last few hours?"

Well, if I had a dollar for every time I've been asked that question ... no! Seriously! This is not the first time a police officer has come to my door and asked me that.

I don't know what it is, but I somehow manage to zone in on neighborhoods where police will come for frequent "visits." I don't get it ... it's got to be something about my magnetic personality or something.

"No, sir. I did see her earlier this evening, though."

"About what time was that?" Officer Roberts' voice got a bit hopeful. "It's approximately 8:30 now."

"Ummm ... I don't know ... the sun was still out. Maybe 5 or 6ish?" Meanwhile, I was starting to feel kind of sick to my stomach now.

"Okay, thanks. Can I get to the back of these units by walking around the building?"

"Yes. In fact, I can turn my back light on for you."

"No, no, not necessary. Thanks."

I'm not sure where the neighbor was ... but I just saw her walking into her apartment not more than 10 minutes ago, and she appeared to be of sound mind and body. However, I sort of want to kill her myself, now, because for the rest of the evening, I jumped at every stupid little noise in my townhouse, including my cat just breathing!

Friday, October 06, 2006

BAD CAT!

A SEMI-VIRTUAL TOUR OF A TOWNHOME

My townhouse, to be exact. Buckle your seat belts ... it's going to be just THRILLING! We have here photos of the living room/dining room. The door near the stairs leads out onto my "spacious" patio, backyard shed, green space. I will say this ... I don't have to mow the green space so that is a plus. I can now, for the first time ever, say that I have LAWN BOYS! YIPPEE!

The stairs you see lead to the two bedrooms. Those will come in another post.

A VIRTUAL TOUR CONTINUED





These are photos of my kitchen. Surprisingly enough, this is probably more spacious than my last kitchen, if you can believe it! It's hard to find a spot to take photos that will give it justice. At some points, I had to stand on the stairs that lead to my front door in order to properly photograph.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

SALATO WILDLIFE EDUCATION CENTER

This particular post will be of most interest to my father. The guy is OBSESSED with deer. OBSESSED, I tell you. I do believe my sister and mother would agree.

Well, dad, I did something today that, as I was doing it, I said out loud, "My dad would poop his pants right now!"

I went with a teaching buddy, Christy, to walk a 3-mile hiking trail at the Salato Wildlife Education Center (http://fw.ky.gov/Navigation.asp?cid=130). This is your kind of place, Papa. They have, are you sitting down? They have a fenced in area where tagged bucks and does wander around within feet of you!!! Yes, dad, I said feet. I literally stood at the fence and watched them watch me with indifference.

Okay, the naysayers out there are going to say, "Well, big hairy deal. They were in an enclosure."

Except, check this!

Christy and I started walking into the trail area, and we met up with real, live, wild ones! Four of them!! And they are so used to people, that while we were tramping through the woods and talking loudly, they just stopped and sniffed us. I stood and talked to one, dad! She was, and I'm not exagerating here, within five feet of me.

Yes, I talked to one, and she just stood there watching me curiously, even after I said, "My dad would poop his pants if he could be standing here right now."

And then I said, "He will also kill me when he finds out I didn't bring a camera!" Yep, left that in the car ... with my cell phone, which we discovered might be a handy item to have when you are hiking UP Kentucky "hills" (feels more like mountains when you're asthmatic), and you happen upon a baby snake while you slip and slide on muddy, slippery, leaf-covered trails.

We walked the 3-mile Pea Ridge Loop Trail (http://fw.ky.gov/Navigation.asp?cid=440&NavPath=C130C207). This is the little statement is on their website. It might have served me well, if I'd read it first: "This hike will be EXTREMELY STRENUOUS if you are suffering from asthma or a heart condition, bad knees, severe artheritis, or other condition which limits physical ability." I'd say it's strenuous! We had an added bonus of rain after we got started. So, those steep trails become steep, muddy, slippery treacherous trails, but then I always love a good adventure. Christy and I came out a muddy mess, and thank goodness, Christy told me to wear a pair of older shoes. They were are mess too, but what fun!

Bring your camera when you come down in November, dad. I'm so taking you out to check out the deer!

HOW MANY COPS DOES IT TAKE?


How many police officers does it take to unlock a car?



Apparently, two Frankfort City Police officers.

I felt so sorry for the first officer. He and the car owner must have jimmied and jimmied for a good 25 minutes. The second officer pulls up, and within 5 minutes, the car's unlocked.

At least the car owner was a man. I imagine it would have been just humiliating for the poor officer had it been a woman.

I HATE WHEN I DO THAT

I woke up from a fitful night's sleep at 6:30 a.m. with an absolute feeling of dread. Why dread? I forgot to put my garbage out last night, and I hadn't yet figured out when the garbage guys came to pick it up. There was this nagging thought that I needed to drag my lazy behind out of bed and put it up on the curb right then and there, but I laid in bed for another half hour, until I heard the familiar beep-beep-beep, of a wide load backing up (and not my wide load either).

I ran down the stairs, as best I could when one doesn't sleep, and headed for the door, only to realize that the garbage men were out in front of my townhouse. It was be ridiculous to try to chase them down to get my garbage out. This wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't for the fact that I'm going to be gone next week during garbage day, and that will mean that nasty stuff stays in my garbage bin two weeks. Yucky poo!

I hate when I do stuff like that. I will remind myself and remind myself and remind myself and write myself a million to do lists, and I STILL manage to forget. And it's not like I have a ton to remember this week, what with it being the first week of my three week fall break. What is my problem?

I suppose it could be worse. Right at this very moment, I neighbor across the road is wrestling with one of Frankfort's finest to try to get his locked car opened.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

HERE'S THE PROBLEM

I love men! And, hopefully, this is not news to any of my readers ...

I do, though. I love men. I love the way their jaw muscles flex when they are upset or are contemplating whatever it is that men contemplate (please let me live in my dream world on this one). I am fascinated with how the muscles in their arms move when they're exerting some sort of force, and a pair of strong, solid legs will get me EVERY SINGLE TIME!

Stick a guy on a Harley Hog (minus the beard that meets their knees), and suddenly, I'm in heaven ... watching his arms twist as they shift gears. Throw some cool tattoos in for good measure, and I am puddy!

I'm obsessed with a guy that can play a guitar and somehow absolutely lose himself in his music. The weird facial expressions he gets makes it that much more enjoyable for me. If he can sing, watch out! A gravely voice belting out "Faithfully" by Journey ... well, let's just say that you had me at hello! Jamming in a band is just plain cool ...

And let's not even get me started on uniforms. Oh goodness ... I love a good uniform. Shoot! I've practically swerved off the highway at the mere sight of a strong, muscular man using a jack hammer with a jaunty orange vest on. Heaven help me with those jaunty orange vests.

I love the feeling of a strong hand intertwined in mine, and I get all jello-y inside when I'm gathered up in a reassuring "everything's going to be okay" embrace. Who doesn't like being led into a room with his hand on the small of your back or being rendered completely helpless when he runs his hands through your hair. I love men!

Here's the problem ... men don't seem to love me. This is, shall we say, slightly problematic.

Okay, yes, the girl's got some hips and a hefty pair of thighs! This has not passed my body radar. However, I've seen girls much bigger than I hook an incredible guy. So, what's my problem?

I've come to this conclusion ... I don't know how to flirt! I've decided this after watching many, many, many flirting sessions between sixth graders (I hate to admit that). The boys are, what I've always thought, stupid. They say stupid things ... do stupid stuff, and they generally annoy the crap out of every female within a 50-mile radius (yes, I realize this is pretty close to what "grown up" boys do too). At the point of flirting saturation, a typical sixth grade girl squeals, slaps the boy, and then giggles to the point that nausea sets in for anyone witnessing the display.

I've been known to say to a few of my sixth grade boys, "Stop flirting with the girls. You don't know how to do it correctly." However, I'm beginning to think they, in fact, do know how to do it correctly. It's me that has the problem.

Perhaps, if at Panera, the guy that has caught my attention, suddenly comes up to the pop machine to fill the 1/4 of his cup not currently filled with soda, I should quickly toss my straw over my shoulder and say, "I'm sorry. Could you please pass me a straw?" All the while fluttering my eyelashes coyly ... Of course, the Panera employee behind me is going to curse the ground I walk on, but it might be worth it, right?

Anyone got any flirting strategies for me?

Monday, October 02, 2006

Seriously!?!?!?

You know the world has gone to hell in a handbasket when you read a headline like this: Man storms Amish school, kills 3, self (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061003/ap_on_re_us/amish_school_shooting)

Honestly, what is this world coming to?

Officially Kentucky

Well, it became official today, ladies and gentlemen. I became an official resident of Kentucky. The last remanent of my Michigan life is currently hanging in a rusty mess in my living room closet because I was too lazy earlier to go to my outdoor shed and toss it in there.

What am I talking about?

I got my Kentucky license plate today ... and, as an added bonus, I also signed up for my voter registration card. Unless someone inserts some Kentucky DNA in these Michigan genes (please don't ... I think my genes would explode at this point of shear change-is-in-the-air overload), I'm as Kentucky as I'm ever going to be. Not to worry, the Michigan girl is still here ... she won't every go away. Those Great Lakes have too strong a pull not to get me every once in a while.

In order to get my fancy dancy $35 plate, I had to take a jaunt to the Franklin County Sheriff's Department and pay $5 to have a deputy take a look at my truck and make sure it hasn't been stolen. Okay, whatever!

The idea of meeting a cutie in a uniform (I'm a sucker for a uniform) made paying $5 to be allowed to pay $35 more palatable. Too bad when I walked into the room, all the uniforms were around my parents' age (no offense), gray, and a bit paunchy in their uniforms. Bummer! This made going in there and paying $5 just so I could pay $35 a bit less exciting.

However, my deputy was a real sweet man. As he escorted me down the elevator, he asked me why I decided to move to Frankfort. I told him that I received a teaching job (and secretly hoped he wouldn't ask me why I was just now getting my license plate ... 2 months after the fact).

"Well, that's just great! You're going to LOVE the winters here." This is a qualifier at the end of every statement once someone from Kentucky finds out I'm from Michigan originally. I can pretty much lay money down on that one these days! Apparently, the rest of the world is under the impression that Michiganders live in a frozen tundra 11 months out of the year.

At any rate, we made small talk while we walked to my truck. Once there, he had to practically pull me out of the street at least three different times ... apparently, in Kentucky, folks don't stand in the middle of traffic. What can I say, I was a little thrown off center by the fact that a deputy was checking my truck to make sure I hadn't stolen it!

When he was done taking down the VIN and mileage, he turned to me and said, "Welcome to Kentucky! We're glad to have you!"

I get that a lot. People, for the most part, are just thrilled to have me in their fair state. Note to self, remember to email Governor Fletcher and thank him for rolling out the red carpet!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

A FEW CONCLUSIONS

My sister, Ann, and I went on a tour of a handful of homes during the Grand Tour of Homes this afternoon. They were nice. However, I don't think I'm interested in shelling out the cash they want a person to shell out in order to own one of their monstrosities.

I've come to a few conclusions on this gorgeous, sunny, balmy Sunday evening.

1.) I will never be able to afford a home of my own because I chose a career that would fulfill my soul not my wallet. One would assume that I should be looking to marrying someone with means. However, since the pickings are slim, I suppose I ought to settle in for the long haul of renting.

2.) I can't, for the life of me, figure out why anyone would want to slap a $300,000 prince tag on a home, put it on a parade of homes showing it to hundreds of prospective home buyers, with some of the world's shoddiest construction. Do they not think we aren't going to notice that the molding doesn't meet the edge of the wall ... by some 2 inches????? Ummmm ... hello! I may not be able to afford your money pit, but I'm not blind. Also, did you notice that the mirror is hanging crooked? Seriously, it meets the wall on the bottom, but is at least an inch and a half away from the wall on the top! Good friggin' grief!

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S

Last night, I had the PLEASURE of seeing one of my all-time favorite old movies on the big screen ... BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S. This particular showing was a fundraiser for a movie house here in Frankfort put on by the SAVE THE GRAND, INC. folks. It was wonderful! For all the times that I 've viewed the movie, I've never ever seen it on the big screen. What a treat!

One of my favorite quotes: "You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, 'Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness.' You call yourself a free spirit, a 'wild thing,' and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. [Takes out the ring and throws it in Holly's lap] Here. I've been carrying this thing around for months. I don't want it anymore."

What a terrific scene! Here are two people, so totally screwed up by the choices they've fallen into, and they're trying to get out of the holes they've dug for themselves ... they're scared and uncertain ... Whew! Can I ever relate at times!

I also love BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S for the fashion (yes, I can be a girlie girl). The dresses Holly Golightly wore in the movie were AMAZING with a capital A! As I normally do when I'm watching the movie, I found myself saying, "WOW! I want to wear a jaunty hat like that one!"

It's always fun, when watching the movie, to try to decide which dress I love the most. I can never decide, but the beautiful pink number Holly was wearing when she found out young Fred had died, was top of my list this time.

I suppose why I like the movie so much is because in it all is this theme of belonging ... finding a place to call home, and I think that is just human nature ... to want to belong. This movie is full of symbolism, and anyone that knows me, knows I love to pick apart a book or movie and examine the symbolism!

Finally, the music in this movie is genius! Pure genius! Moon River? Who doesn't like that song?

What a great way to spend a Saturday night!?!?!