Tuesday, February 28, 2012

IN NEED OF A GPS

There are certain times in ones life when you stop, look around at the carnage before you, and think to yourself, "I think I might have taken a wrong turn somewhere."

Today was one of those days.

I had sent a kid down to the school nurse THREE times ... this particular child is not one to complain.  He was having definite gastric problems.  Each time, he came back.  So, of course, he's in Math this afternoon and pukes EVERY WHERE.  Of course!

I had already had to deal with yet another melt-down from another child ... a daily, no an hourly, occurrence.  So, I was ready to throw in the towel as the chunks were flying. 

And yet, the dramatic irony continued, because, why not?  It's me, and God is trying to teach me a lesson ... or something.

After I'd all but depleted the Lysol supply of my teammate ... and lit two matches ... and a candle ... and dropped off my merry band of lovelies to our awaiting Gym teacher, I ran to the bathroom, because, honestly, I can't remember the last time I had been to the bathroom ... 5:00 a.m.??? 

I walk into the stall, and not only walk THROUGH a puddle of pee, but I also drag a pant leg through it.  Awesome!  More Lysol, because, it stands to reason that I would have TWO meetings after school and won't be getting home until later.  Of course, I will have to walk around with a pee-covered pant leg ... after witnessing a child puke buckets ... and deal with my own queasy stomach ... and manage the crazy that is my room.  Of course!

As I stood in the puddle of pee, I got quite philosophical ... one tends to get philosophical while standing in pee.  I wondered, "Is this why I spent 8 years of school and countless wads of money that I will be paying back from now until my dying day for? To stand in a puddle of pee, replaying the SPEW OF THE CENTURY in my mind, while trying to keep the crazy from a full-on insane eruption from happening in my room?" 

All I know is that it is 5:00 p.m. somewhere, and I am going to contemplate it while I watch a nice glass of Moscato swirl around in my glass.

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