Saturday, September 12, 2015

ALL THE FEELS

I've been feeling all the feels this week.  Some weeks it's like that.

I've been feeling frustration ...
... frustration at my lack of motivation to get everything done that I want and NEED to do.
... frustration at not being able to afford all that I would like to do.
... frustration at not being able to afford all that I need to do.
... frustration that I am not getting my way.  Okay, this is selfish and sounds like a whiny brat. But don't we all just want to stoop to that whiny brat state, if for just a moment? It makes adulting so much easier ... at times.

I've been feeling pain ...
... physical pain because of the weather changes. Oy vey! The migraines! This hasn't been a good season for migraines.
... my arthritic knees are a constant issue.
... my feet have developed this tendinitis thing. This tendinitis rocks it out on the top of my feet now, and my arthritis medicine doesn't seem to touch the inflammation.  That's frustrating.

I've been feeling hurt ...
.... hurt at the ways in which people treat others.  Adults ... well past their high school years, who are, for whatever reason, attempting to save face or feelings are something. In the wake of their half truths, they are leaving resentment and bruised feelings.
... listening to the stories of children whose lives do not match the growing up years I had.  Mind you, we were poor when I was growing up, but the love for us by our parents was so apparent ... we knew we were loved and appreciated.

I've been feeling excitement ...
... interesting twists and turns in life are making for exciting adventures ahead.
... excited for friends realizing dreams and achievements.
... for professional futures.

I've been feeling anticipation ...
... for things turning around.
... for the future.
... for the present.
... for Fall ... and Pumpkin Spice Lattes!

I've been feeling resentment ...
... for the people around me that are moving forward when my life seems to be in a static holding pattern.
... for change.
... for things moving forward.
... for things falling behind.

I've been feeling contentment ...
... contentment in my job. Teaching is actually fun this year!
... contentment in life. I am moving toward being content with where I am at in my life ... life is beautiful and complicated and boring and exciting and I am content.

I've been feeling gypped...
... when is it going to be my turn???

All the feels this week.  Sometimes it's like that. It isn't bad, and it isn't good.  It's just all the feels.

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