Today, while out at recess, I was approached by five little 4th grade girls. Well, approached may not be the best word for it. Perhaps accosted is better? Yes, accosted. I was accosted by five little girls with the dreaded question.
"Hey, Miss Murray," Mary* shouted. Mary is in my teammate's classroom. "Do you got a husband?"
"No, no I don't."
"See," said Missy*, one of my girls. "I told you."
"Why?" demanded Mary.
"Umm, well, ..."
"Cuz Mrs. Starkey's married, and her husband came to visit. And Mrs. Peach's husband came to visit."
"Well, I don't have a husband to visit." I said, smiling.
"Okay, so do you have a boyfriend?" Mary persisted.
"Nope. No boyfriend."
"Why?" She was relentless.
"Okay, Miss Murray. Do you even date?" Mary was clearly getting annoyed with me now.
"Yes, I do date."
"Lately? Have you dated lately?"
"Well, no. Not lately."
Mary put her hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. "Why not?"
"Well, Mary, I just haven't found Mr. Perfect."
At this, Mary rolled her eyes dramatically. Apparently, Missy saw me hanging precariously over the precipice of SHE'S A TOTAL DORKY LOSER chasm, because she valiantly attempted to come to my rescue.
"But, Mary. Wait!" She placed her hand on Mary's shoulder. "She's got a cat!"
"Oh whatever!" Mary shouted.
If only Missy realized that owning a cat and still being single is not a selling feature ...
*Names have been changed to protect the innocence. \