Sometimes, I feel like an outsider looking in.
Sometimes, I am okay with that. If I don't have to be bothered with the details, I am perfectly fine with that. I like structure. I thrive under the need for direction. Clear, concise direction. I don't need to be involved in the planning. Just tell me what to do.
Sometimes, I just feel like I am being drug along behind. I try to jump on board. I try to get my footing. Then, something comes along and pushes me over the edge ... and I am left bloodied and bruised (figuratively, of course) and mangled by it all.
Sometimes, I am not sure what "it all" really is.
Sometimes, I am happily driving down a country road, a sun-shiny day stretched out before me, and I am thanking the good Lord for blessing me with this place He set me in.
Sometimes, I am completely blindsided by circumstances beyond my control, and I'm left wondering where I fit in it all.
Sometimes, I pray that the little things won't get to me, only to be hit by the BIG gigantic things. How did I not see THAT coming?
As my mom so kindly and gently reminded me today, God has a plan. Mercifully, He doesn't let us in on the whole plan all at once. Personally, I'd kind of like it if he did, but I also know my little pea-brain would most likely explode at the brilliance of the plan. I am relatively sure I couldn't manage all that awesome in one viewing. He recognizes this in me, in all of us. And so He reveals bits and pieces ... slowly ... for us to savor ... and take in ... and digest ... and well, not explode over.
Sometimes, we just need to be okay with being an outsider looking in.