I have had an on-going conversation with someone regarding filling my emotional tank. Basically, how is it that I am filling the areas I deplete with professional obligations with stuff that will refuel my soul?
As of late, I've not been, and I'm not really sure how to begin that process.
What I have come to realize or notice is that truly dedicated professionals give 110% all the time. I see it in my world of teaching. My colleagues that are truly inspiring? They go all.the.way. No shortcuts. No excuses. They just do it.
I imagine that is what the creators of the JUST DO IT campaign for Nike might have had in mind.
Lately, I have been harboring resentment, and this person whom I've been having this on-going conversation with nailed it. Well, nailed me. "Sounds to me like you are pretty resentful of people who A.) waste your time, and B.) don't value others' time and efforts only their own."
Insert a thousand bells peeling madly (and homage to one of my favorite movies, SOUND OF MUSIC).
She. Nailed. It.
I have said it before. I hold myself to a very high standard. I am not necessarily sure that is a good thing, and, so, I am DEFINITELY not tooting my own horn. But nothing crawls under my skin (like Alien-esque under the skin crawling) more than watching people just "playing" a role ... doing something only halfheartedly ... cutting corners to get something done quickly but passing it off as quality. Complaining that they are not getting the accolades they deserve when everyone within a 50-mile radius knows full well they've put in only minimal effort.
It takes hard work for anything to pay off.
That is why I am still fat. I guess I am not ready to put in that hard work. But I digress.
My co-conversationalist? She pointed out that I need to refill my tank. I deplete it each day that I give as much as I possibly can (some days are less than others), but I am not refilling. It's like never filling a tank with gas. She pointed out that I need to figure out how to fill my tank without allowing extraneous stuff, i.e., the annoying people, to add to the depletion of my tank.
Spring Break seems like the perfect time to do so.
A friend extended an invitation to dinner last night. I jumped at the chance. For almost four hours, we laughed and talked and, to be corny, broke bread, and I left there feeling emotionally full.
Oh! It all sounds so crunchy and hippy and silly. But in my old age, I am coming to realize that feeding my soul is more important than worrying about the people who are cutting corners, grasping at straws and generally doing whatever they can to get the attention of others.
My life ... my worth is not wrapped up in accolades and awards and tangible bits of things that will gather dust and wither away. My life is a woven tapestry of people and places that work together to feed me, grow me, and help me work toward bringing glory to God ... not to myself.
Oh, I am human. I am not going to be perfect at this. Not even a little bit. However, Spring Break is a great time for me to explore what it is that makes me ME. Filling up my emotional and spiritual tank ... that is what I am going to be doing.
Coming back here and writing to all you long-suffering readers of mine? Seems like a good start.
Here's to rest ... relaxation ... and filling our tanks!