Monday, October 07, 2013

New Accountability



Beginning weight (January 30, 2012): 229.2
Goal weight: 175
Goal body fat percentage: 22%
Current weight: 219.4
Current bady fat: Ummmm.... dunno
Loss to date: after yo-yoing all over the place, 9.8 lbs
Pounds to reach goal: 54.2

Well, I have neglected this part of my life for a while, because, honestly, I was tired of thinking about it and talking about it and planning for it.  When you are over-weight, and your desire is to do something about it, it can pretty well consume your moment by moment thoughts.  I am not all together sure that is a healthy thing.  The constant consumption of weight-loss thoughts.  I could be wrong.  I've been known to be so before.

As a direct result of my constant, over-whelming, ever-consuming weight loss mind suck, my solution was to just stop.  Stop thinking.  Stop doing.  Just stop.

That isn't necessarily a good thing either.  I could be wrong.  I've been known to be so before.  Still, I'm of the opinion it was the wrong thing to do. 

This stopping business was well-timed (read a certain amount of sarcasm into that little statement) in part because it became very clear to me that I needed to shave some expenses down, and Weight Watchers, sadly, was one of the expenses to be shaved, so to speak. 

The other day, I discovered some pictures that, while I'd known had been taken at the time, I didn't realize existed (if that makes any sense whatsoever), and were "out there" for public consumption.  Well, they were, and I consumed, and BOY HOWDY! was I ever disappointed. 

Yes, I've lost some weight.  Then I gained some back.  Then I lost it again, and I thought I was doing great.  Yet, when I looked at the photos, I realized just how little it mattered and how much I have to go. 

Truth be told, I need to get serious about this or nothing is going to change ... except my health.  That is my biggest concern. 

Plus, I am tired of my clothes.  I am tired of only being able to wear the same pairs of jeans or pants.  I want to be able to walk into Goodwill (the only place I can afford to shop these days ... that's sad, right?) and pick anything cool or funky off that shelf and wear it.  Period. 

So, I need to make some changes.  And dag-gone it, I wish I could just snap my fingers and make those changes now.  Wake up tomorrow and see them all made. 

That's not how this works. 

So, it's back to the drawing board with a free calorie counter and a renewed sense that I CAN DO THIS ... I hope.




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