Monday, March 31, 2014

THIS GIRL BRAKES FOR BREAKS

My friend and I text each other every. single. day.  

They aren't earth-shattering texts -- well, most days.  Some days, we've got the solution to world peace, but we're keeping it to ourselves until our application for that Nobel Peace Prize passes through the first round committee. 

True be told, most people, if given the opportunity to be texting stalkers on our conversations (are there such things??) would probably look at the stuff we text each other and scratch their heads and then immediately run away from us.  

We're sarcastic and acerbic and whiny and goofy and silly and venty (or is that venti?), and dare I say it, b*tchy, and if you really want to know, it's the constant stream of consciousness that runs in my head. And she gets it.  She gets me.

Today, the running stream of consciousness revolved around the fact that, both of us being teachers, we are attempting to do the most in our Spring Break week.  She'd cleaned her bedroom.  I'd vacuumed every surface I could think of.  Both of us agreed we're gross.  It is what it is when you're a teacher.

But that got me thinking ... and have I mentioned my mind is a scary place?  I mean, I think about stuff like how they get toothpaste in a tube.  So, you can totally see how my brain went to, "Wonder what actors and actresses do on their breaks?"

I don't want to ever misjudge any one's job.  Lord knows, mine is on a daily basis. But seriously, what does happen on a break from that job where you memorize lines, hang out in a trailer until they call you out to do your thing and walk red carpets, smiling and behaving like debauchery is a sport?

A trip to some exotic location, I bet.  That's what I would do if I had expendable income.

Instead, my morning started out sometime around 6:40ish.  You see, I am not sure of the exact time because I didn't dare move for fear The Cat would hear me and come running from her perch watching birds to beg for more kibble because for the LOVE OF ALL THAT IS DECENT AND GOOD IN THIS WORLD MY BOWL IS ONLY HALF FULL!  I laid in bed talking myself into the fact that a daily workout on the elliptical MUST be done and then trying to decide if that should happen before or after I tackled some household chores (it happened after, in case you were wondering).  This snow-balled into how long this will take for me to FINALLY lose the extra human that I am carrying around in my hind quarters and then what am I going to have for breakfast and coffee!! Wouldn't it be nice if I had coffee. right. this. minute.  This launched me into a daydream, wherein, I have finally found Prince Charming, and he actually makes coffee and brings it to me.  About this time, a big, 11-pound fur ball, whose hearing rivals that of any spy devise the Federal government has ever used, comes trotting into my room and jumps directly onto my chest, purring the whole time, fuzzy, whiskery face mere centimeters from mine, because she suspects I am awake, what with the difference in breathing that she heard. from. the. other. room.  

I spend my break trying to reorganize myself after the wheels fell off that particular project long about Day 2 of the first week of the third quarter.  I spend it trying to revive the workouts that fell by the wayside due to crazy weather and staff meetings and after-school tutoring sessions and grading and sheer exhaustion.  I spend my breaks trying to feel human again, before that feeling is sucked right out of me again as I enter that fourth quarter. 

My life is lived in a series of quarters with a few breaks sprinkled in there for good measure, and it's in those breaks that I realize the sheer desire to just survive each quarter has left me exhausted and unable to form sentences.  

So, you can see why, when in a meeting with an administrator and some colleagues, when the question was posed, "where are you right now?"  I answered, "On a beach, with a bikini-ready body and a good-looking guy that doesn't talk just keeps bringing me those drinks with umbrellas in them."

Sometimes, I say that stuff out loud.  It's true.

I lose that filter long about Day 2 of each quarter as well.   Good thing I have this break to find it again....


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