They might be little white lies ... lies of omission ... pathological stuff. Where ever you fall in the spectrum, we all do it.
Remember Fleetwood Mac's Little Lies?
I have been thinking a lot about lies lately.
I've discovered some lies that were told to me. Now, I consider my BS meter to be very sensitive, and I must admit, at the time the lies were told, I really suspected that they were, in fact, lies. I mean, my track record with the person lying wasn't at all good. There wasn't any mutual respect. I tried, in whatever I did, to show respect. I realize it fell short. I'm not perfect. However, this person rarely showed respect. There were threats, rudeness, snarky comments, accusations, but never a lot of respect.
It wasn't the lie that got me so upset. It was the very idea that something I've done in my life would be perceived hurtful or devious to cause this person to lie, especially in light of the fact that I allowed myself to be vulnerable in front of this person.
What I realize this morning is that more than ever, it is the fact that friendships have been ruined over this person's lies. That I have irreparably ruined friendships because of this person's presence in my life....that perhaps there would be these friendships in my life still if I'd not attempted to try to work around the lies.
What ifs ... they will eat us alive, you know?
There have also been lies of omission. I'm not upset at the lack of inclusion in events. That isn't what I'm upset with. I'm upset that there wasn't a transparency there.
Transparency is key to trust. Without it, I begin to lose trust ... quickly.
I'm often accused of being reticent upon first meeting me ... of being stand-offish ... of being "uppity." I'm not any of those things, I don't believe. I am just waiting for transparency. I am waiting to see if I can trust you ... if you can trust me.