Tuesday, May 26, 2015

OOPS! I DID IT AGAIN.

If you were to ask me, "Hey!  Megan!  What does 43 look like?"

I, sadly, would have to answer that it looks fat and limpy and swollen ... and you pop a lot of ibuprofen.  I mean A LOT.

I have been to the doctor more times in the last few months than I have in the entire time I've been living in Kentucky! 

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating just a bit, but seriously, folks.  It's been a lot.  I'm beginning to think my physician thinks I'm a hypochondriac or something. 

I have degenerative arthritis in my knees, and recently, my body has decided to swell up like a big ole balloon, as if gaining weight wasn't enough.

I woke up this morning, seemingly in great physical shape, considering the new arthritis medicine I was taking was causing me, I think, to have a swollen throat because the swelling feet weren't enough, you know?

I got up to get coffee and nearly lost sanity from the pain in my upper back.  You see, I sneezed the other day.  Yes, you read that correctly. I sneezed the other day ... to be more exact, I sneezed on Sunday....in church.  I was trying to stifle the sneeze so as not to disrupt EVERYONE around me during the middle of the sermon.  I was being selfless, dang it!

Yeah, remember when we were kids and someone said it's dangerous to stifle sneezes because you might make your nose bigger or make your eyes bulge or some such nonsense?  Well, I've discovered why you don't stifle sneezes.  It's because you could throw your upper back out!

DUDE!  I. SNEEZED.

And because my body enjoys a delayed reaction, it didn't start hurting until this morning, because, well, why not!?

I swear!  Forty-three is going to look a hump-backed single teacher pushing a walker before too long. 

Forget this selfless business.  I am fixing to sneeze all over y'all the next time!

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