Saturday, June 06, 2015

ON SHARING THE ROAD

We have a lot of cyclists here in the Bluegrass.  A LOTTTTTTTTTT.  These cyclists love to traverse the back roads around here, and who can blame them!  Our rolling hills?  The beautiful horse farms?  Craggy cliffs?  I mean, it's breathtaking!

Apparently, we have an inordinate amount of cyclist deaths due to tangling with cars. Stands to reason with all the cyclists we have in the state. And if you've not traveled our fair state, allow me to let you in on a little secret.  We don't have shoulders.  No, not the ones just below your ears.  I'm talking road shoulders.  Now, native Kentuckians are under the impression that we do have shoulders in the road, but let me be clear here.  We do not.  When a sign says LOW SHOULDER, rest assured that should translate into NO SHOULDER THERE AT ALL ZERO NADA ZILCH AND YOU'RE SO SCREWED IF YOU GET OFF THAT ROAD EVEN AN ICH.

So, as a result, we have this campaign SHARE THE ROADS or some such stuff with the cyclists.

Now, I'm not one to say we can't all share the roads ... well, except tractors during spring planting or fall harvest.  Then I am allllll about them having separate roads just for them!  In fact, I am totally cool with sharing the roads with cyclists.  However, when this whole SHARE THE ROAD thing started, I don't believe any one thought that cyclists would be TAKING UP THE WHOLE DRIVING LANE.  Am I right?

Today, I got behind three cyclists who, despite ALLLLLL the traffic, refused to move even a modicum of a foot over so vehicles they are so nervous about could move around them.

First of all, let me digress for a moment and say that the dude who was bringing up the rear was showing his rear, and it wasn't pretty, people!  He was wearing biking shorts, which, I understand, are essential on long distance rides.  Great!  Only these puppies were shear until the padding portion, and by shear, I mean I could see ALLLLL of his butt crack. All. of. it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I do not care to share the road with someone that must show me his butt crack.  As butt cracks go, this wasn't a pleasant one to look at.  So, I was already off-putted by that.  Then he added salt to the grimy wound by violently waving me to pass him ... on a GIGANTIC Kentucky curve WITH A DOUBLE LINE. 

Yeah, dude!  I don't care how much of your hinter regions you plan on showing me, I am not, I repeat, AM NOT going to be passing you on a curve with a double line.  Just.  Not. 

Listen, if I am to continue sharing the road with these people, I propose we do some major road construction, like, say, adding a bike lane.  Deviate from that lane at all, and you get a ticket.  Period.  End of story. 

The reality is that while we as drivers need to be constantly aware and vigilant of all the pedestrians, motor cyclists, cyclists, pets, etc., around us, you, as a cyclist, can not expect that you get equal billing on the roadway.  You just can't.  Number one, you don't go as fast.  Number two, you become a road hazard, and that's where problems occur. 

I will continue to share the road, but man!  It would be nice if you did the same, oh bicyclist.

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