I MIGHT BE PART OF AN EPIDEMIC
There is so much on Facebook that is complete and utter crap.
And I'm not even talking about the fake news phenomenon -- unless you count the fake news that your Facebook friends put on posts that make you cringe, blush, and say out loud in Starbucks, "For reals!? You didn't just post that!?!"
My friends and I have started making a game out of the stuff posted on Facebook.
I really need to stop reading Facebook, because that game is not nice. Not at all. Let me just leave it at that.
But this morning, I found myself, once again, creeping on Facebook, seeing what every one had done since last I checked ... playing my game again, (it just isn't nice), when I ran across this article.
It Has Become Epidemic Seeing So Many Smart and Attractive Women Being Single
Not going to lie. This title piqued my interest ... and not just because the title seems horribly mangled some how.
No, I think what caused me to pause on the link was that word EPIDEMIC.
I have long been single. Not by choice. In my mind's eye, this isn't how I had planned things. I will be honest (and I have been before on this blog) that I never saw myself as a mother. However, I ALWAYS saw myself as a wife. There was never a question on this point. He would be intelligent, successful in whatever it was that he chose to do, and he would share my love of seeing the world ... or at least, our little world here in the US.
So, this being 46 years old and still single? It's a shock to my old life plan.
Now whether they mean to or not, people say the absolute ballsiest things. I mean, I honestly don't know where folks get their particular brand of entitlement, but some of the people closest to me have verbalized the following thoughts:
"Not sure where you went wrong!"
"I'm so very puzzled why you are still so single."
"Why is it that you are so afraid of settling down?"
"What do you say to men that turn them off?"
"What is that you do? I mean, you have to be doing something wrong?"
"Your face is so pretty..."
"But that sense of humor is such a great attribute."
The mind reels that a person wouldn't some how come out of such questioning unscathed. And, in fact, I have pondered often what it is that makes me unmarketable in the marriage game. Heck! At this point, in the dating game. I mean, there HAS to be something wrong with me. These people have all intimated that.
So, all of that to say, ummm, yeah! Of course, I clicked on the link!
I won't regurgitate the article. You can click on the link yourself and read it. However, I was fascinated -- and slightly puzzled -- and highly troubled -- by two items from this article, which is the whole purpose of this rambling missive in the first place.
1.) More and more smart, beautiful girls are single, which is equating to something of an epidemic.
2.) A lot of guys are intimidated by smart, beautiful women.
Oooooookay, Imma preface this by saying, I am not saying I am beautiful. Girl, please. I am commandeering the Hot Mess Express, and I swear, if this humidity could jack this head of hair up any further, we'd seriously be able to mop floors with it! We won't even discuss my five-minute face, which, for all intents and purposes, is where I attempt to dab make-up in the general area of my face and hope for the best.
No. What I want to zero in on first is this notion of singlehood as an epidemic. Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear or see the word EPIDEMIC, my mind immediately sees/hears DISEASE. Again, I'm not sure where you fall on that whole context argument, but disease, to me, insinuates there is something terribly wrong ... possibly with no cure in sight.
This doesn't help this single girl's outlook on her single world, if everyone is viewing my singledom as terminal ... epidemic-like. I mean, does the CDC have a department for this situation?
The second thing, and the most disturbing, is that the author of the article says that most men are intimidated by smart women. Now, I might laugh this off as all sorts of silliness, if I had not had a married male friend tell me, "The problem is that you are just too smart. Guys are super intimidated by people like you."
And then he asked me if it was possible to "dumb it down some."
For reals?!? Dumb it down? What does that even mean? Do I say LIKE with a greater degree of frequency? Do I flip my hair and giggle a lot?
I don't even know how to dumb it down.
I brought this up with a good friend of mine earlier this evening over dinner. I said, "All this time I thought it was because I was fat [and that could still be the issue these days], but I am beginning to think that this terminal singlehood that I apparently suffer from is terminal because I am just too smart for my own good."
Her conclusion? Yep. You're probably correct in your assessment.
So, here we are ... 2018 ... in a time where we are supposed to be super enlightened about all sorts of things, as well, as super, hyper aware of feminist thought, and I am, as an intelligent woman, being penalized for actually having a brain and using it.
Hang on. I need to double check my calendar one more time.
Yep, 2018. That's what it says.
Y'all! I'm not sure whether to be relieved that at least I can diagnose my problem ...
OR
Be depressed that in all the years of feminist thought and study, we are still trying to make women some how less than they are.
And everyone seems okay with this ... clearly! Because people are now all, "Ooooooh! Wait! I think this may be an epidemic!"
And I'm just sitting here shaking my head because, at some point, words cease to be useful in this situation. There just aren't words to accurately describe my utter bewilderment at this finding.
And I'm not even talking about the fake news phenomenon -- unless you count the fake news that your Facebook friends put on posts that make you cringe, blush, and say out loud in Starbucks, "For reals!? You didn't just post that!?!"
My friends and I have started making a game out of the stuff posted on Facebook.
I really need to stop reading Facebook, because that game is not nice. Not at all. Let me just leave it at that.
But this morning, I found myself, once again, creeping on Facebook, seeing what every one had done since last I checked ... playing my game again, (it just isn't nice), when I ran across this article.
It Has Become Epidemic Seeing So Many Smart and Attractive Women Being Single
Not going to lie. This title piqued my interest ... and not just because the title seems horribly mangled some how.
No, I think what caused me to pause on the link was that word EPIDEMIC.
I have long been single. Not by choice. In my mind's eye, this isn't how I had planned things. I will be honest (and I have been before on this blog) that I never saw myself as a mother. However, I ALWAYS saw myself as a wife. There was never a question on this point. He would be intelligent, successful in whatever it was that he chose to do, and he would share my love of seeing the world ... or at least, our little world here in the US.
So, this being 46 years old and still single? It's a shock to my old life plan.
Now whether they mean to or not, people say the absolute ballsiest things. I mean, I honestly don't know where folks get their particular brand of entitlement, but some of the people closest to me have verbalized the following thoughts:
"Not sure where you went wrong!"
"I'm so very puzzled why you are still so single."
"Why is it that you are so afraid of settling down?"
"What do you say to men that turn them off?"
"What is that you do? I mean, you have to be doing something wrong?"
"Your face is so pretty..."
"But that sense of humor is such a great attribute."
The mind reels that a person wouldn't some how come out of such questioning unscathed. And, in fact, I have pondered often what it is that makes me unmarketable in the marriage game. Heck! At this point, in the dating game. I mean, there HAS to be something wrong with me. These people have all intimated that.
So, all of that to say, ummm, yeah! Of course, I clicked on the link!
I won't regurgitate the article. You can click on the link yourself and read it. However, I was fascinated -- and slightly puzzled -- and highly troubled -- by two items from this article, which is the whole purpose of this rambling missive in the first place.
1.) More and more smart, beautiful girls are single, which is equating to something of an epidemic.
2.) A lot of guys are intimidated by smart, beautiful women.
Oooooookay, Imma preface this by saying, I am not saying I am beautiful. Girl, please. I am commandeering the Hot Mess Express, and I swear, if this humidity could jack this head of hair up any further, we'd seriously be able to mop floors with it! We won't even discuss my five-minute face, which, for all intents and purposes, is where I attempt to dab make-up in the general area of my face and hope for the best.
No. What I want to zero in on first is this notion of singlehood as an epidemic. Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear or see the word EPIDEMIC, my mind immediately sees/hears DISEASE. Again, I'm not sure where you fall on that whole context argument, but disease, to me, insinuates there is something terribly wrong ... possibly with no cure in sight.
This doesn't help this single girl's outlook on her single world, if everyone is viewing my singledom as terminal ... epidemic-like. I mean, does the CDC have a department for this situation?
The second thing, and the most disturbing, is that the author of the article says that most men are intimidated by smart women. Now, I might laugh this off as all sorts of silliness, if I had not had a married male friend tell me, "The problem is that you are just too smart. Guys are super intimidated by people like you."
And then he asked me if it was possible to "dumb it down some."
For reals?!? Dumb it down? What does that even mean? Do I say LIKE with a greater degree of frequency? Do I flip my hair and giggle a lot?
I don't even know how to dumb it down.
I brought this up with a good friend of mine earlier this evening over dinner. I said, "All this time I thought it was because I was fat [and that could still be the issue these days], but I am beginning to think that this terminal singlehood that I apparently suffer from is terminal because I am just too smart for my own good."
Her conclusion? Yep. You're probably correct in your assessment.
So, here we are ... 2018 ... in a time where we are supposed to be super enlightened about all sorts of things, as well, as super, hyper aware of feminist thought, and I am, as an intelligent woman, being penalized for actually having a brain and using it.
Hang on. I need to double check my calendar one more time.
Yep, 2018. That's what it says.
Y'all! I'm not sure whether to be relieved that at least I can diagnose my problem ...
OR
Be depressed that in all the years of feminist thought and study, we are still trying to make women some how less than they are.
And everyone seems okay with this ... clearly! Because people are now all, "Ooooooh! Wait! I think this may be an epidemic!"
And I'm just sitting here shaking my head because, at some point, words cease to be useful in this situation. There just aren't words to accurately describe my utter bewilderment at this finding.
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