EXPECTING THE WORST -- PLEASANTLY SURPRISED OTHERWISE
Maddie had her first vet appointment in a new state. The anticipation as to what exactly she would do to alienate Dr. Massie was HUGE! Two states away, family is currently waiting with baited breath to here the newest tales regarding Maddie's thoroughly hideous behavior (the only kind she has, by the way) at her doctor's office.
Well, she didn't disappoint.
There was no screaming like a banshee, which, by the way, is something for which she is well-known. However, true to her amazingly grouchy nature, there was much swearing in cat language to be had.
It starts out pretty typically. I quickly shove her in her cage to which I am always met with a look of supreme and utter confusion. Something along the lines of, "Ummmm ... hey! How did that just happen?"
Generally, there's a bit of stunned silence before a soft bleating comes from the depths of the cage. This is her initial tactic. I think she wonders that if she starts out sounding pitiful, I might suddenly take pity on her and let her out. Maddie doesn't usually stick with this strategy long. I think it's a combination of her not being extremely patient and the fact that she's just really cussid.
The soft bleating turns into a pretty overt display of a cat's version of swearing. I know without a doubt that it's swearing because the tone of her little kitty voice goes up about 10 octaves and the sweet pussy-cat phrasing turns immediately into incessant blurts of ugliness.
Of course, when we hit the doors of the office, the blurts, or should I more appropriately say, BLEEPS, segue into low, guttural growls ... growls that would put a pit bull to shame! The growls will increase in quantity as well as quality, until they crescendo in the exam room when the vet techs have the absolute nerve to unseat her Grand Dameness from her cage.
Now, I must stop here and tell you that Maddie the Cat hates men. This will be extremely interesting when and if I ever find one of my own to marry ... or at least spend a bit of time with. Yes, she is less than welcoming to anyone of the opposite sex, with the absolute epitome of hate directed to my dear father. Maddie can not abide the male half of my parental unit.
I have been especially interested in being witness to how this vet appointment all plays out because Dr. Massie is a man ... an older man, at that ... the double kiss of death where Her Royal Butt-Headedness is concerned.
I think it might have been the fact that Dr. Massie had a very thick southern accent. Or maybe it was the fact that the vet tech let Maddie stuff her ornery little head into the crook of her arm (as if that would suddenly make her disappear), but Maddie was, for her, relatively well-behaved. Oh, don't get me wrong, she growled ... oh did she growl! It was so bad that Dr. Massie started laughing at one point. And, yes, I knew by the way Maddie shot literal daggers of death in my general direction, that I probably shouldn't try to fall asleep tonight ... I'm fairly certain she plans to rip my jugular out. However, it was, overall, a relatively stress free visit.
She is currently laying in the sun plotting ways to make me pay.
Well, she didn't disappoint.
There was no screaming like a banshee, which, by the way, is something for which she is well-known. However, true to her amazingly grouchy nature, there was much swearing in cat language to be had.
It starts out pretty typically. I quickly shove her in her cage to which I am always met with a look of supreme and utter confusion. Something along the lines of, "Ummmm ... hey! How did that just happen?"
Generally, there's a bit of stunned silence before a soft bleating comes from the depths of the cage. This is her initial tactic. I think she wonders that if she starts out sounding pitiful, I might suddenly take pity on her and let her out. Maddie doesn't usually stick with this strategy long. I think it's a combination of her not being extremely patient and the fact that she's just really cussid.
The soft bleating turns into a pretty overt display of a cat's version of swearing. I know without a doubt that it's swearing because the tone of her little kitty voice goes up about 10 octaves and the sweet pussy-cat phrasing turns immediately into incessant blurts of ugliness.
Of course, when we hit the doors of the office, the blurts, or should I more appropriately say, BLEEPS, segue into low, guttural growls ... growls that would put a pit bull to shame! The growls will increase in quantity as well as quality, until they crescendo in the exam room when the vet techs have the absolute nerve to unseat her Grand Dameness from her cage.
Now, I must stop here and tell you that Maddie the Cat hates men. This will be extremely interesting when and if I ever find one of my own to marry ... or at least spend a bit of time with. Yes, she is less than welcoming to anyone of the opposite sex, with the absolute epitome of hate directed to my dear father. Maddie can not abide the male half of my parental unit.
I have been especially interested in being witness to how this vet appointment all plays out because Dr. Massie is a man ... an older man, at that ... the double kiss of death where Her Royal Butt-Headedness is concerned.
I think it might have been the fact that Dr. Massie had a very thick southern accent. Or maybe it was the fact that the vet tech let Maddie stuff her ornery little head into the crook of her arm (as if that would suddenly make her disappear), but Maddie was, for her, relatively well-behaved. Oh, don't get me wrong, she growled ... oh did she growl! It was so bad that Dr. Massie started laughing at one point. And, yes, I knew by the way Maddie shot literal daggers of death in my general direction, that I probably shouldn't try to fall asleep tonight ... I'm fairly certain she plans to rip my jugular out. However, it was, overall, a relatively stress free visit.
She is currently laying in the sun plotting ways to make me pay.
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