JUST CALL ME THE "BUZZ-KILL"
I broke up a little make-out session in the darkened hallway of the elementary wing this afternoon after school. You can't see me, but I've got a big cheesy grin on my face right now, and I believe I feel an evil laugh coming on ...
Tonight is the infamous Valentines Dance, and I, stupidly, volunteered to help chaperone the thing. Yeah, I know! What was I thinking?
Anyway, it's at 7 o'clock this evening, and school ended at 3:25 p.m. So, I decided it would be prudent to run a few errands, grab dinner, and then come back to school to work for a while.
The elementary wing of our building is the first to be cleaned by our afternoon custodians because the primary lets out earlier than us. As is the case everyday, when the custodian for our floor is done with that end, he always shuts the lights off. Save for the emergency lighting, it's pretty dark down there, and, I suppose, slightly romantic ... if a fourth grade hallway can really be romantic.
Imagine if you will, me, trudging up the two flights of stairs, bags and keys in hand, not being extremely quiet. Imagine me getting to the top of the stairs, huffing a bit as I kick myself for volunteering for the chaperoning gig in the first place, and then turning to see two middle schoolers in a lip lock.
Now, as a general rule, sixth, seventh, and eighth graders don't move with much speed. They tend to move at, shall we say, a snail's space, and that's usually ONLY when they are in a hurry. So imagine my surprise at the speed-of-light movement that occured as the eighth grade boy and seventh grade girl realized I'd caught them swapping tongues and exchanging spit!
I asked them where they were supposed to be and to get there, but, apparently, they really didn't take my warning to skee-dattle, because as soon as I passed them, they began phase two of Operation Suck Face.
[Insert evil laugh here] If this was the strategy they planned to employ, I decided to employ some of my own strategy by pulling out the big guns! The "big guns" would be our principal, by the way. [Insert my bigger, cheesier smile here] She marched down the hallway and caught them ... well, caught them lip-locked ... again!
What was more humorous than catching them in their passionate embrace was the excuses the young lethario made for why they were so close ... they were just talking (I often get that close to my friends when talking) ... they were hugging ...
Personally, I was holding out for the, "I swear! I was walking and I tripped and my lips hit hers ... I swear it!!!'
They've both been banned from the dance tonight, and now I must worry that my tires may be slashed or my truck keyed.
Ah ... middle school ... good times!
Tonight is the infamous Valentines Dance, and I, stupidly, volunteered to help chaperone the thing. Yeah, I know! What was I thinking?
Anyway, it's at 7 o'clock this evening, and school ended at 3:25 p.m. So, I decided it would be prudent to run a few errands, grab dinner, and then come back to school to work for a while.
The elementary wing of our building is the first to be cleaned by our afternoon custodians because the primary lets out earlier than us. As is the case everyday, when the custodian for our floor is done with that end, he always shuts the lights off. Save for the emergency lighting, it's pretty dark down there, and, I suppose, slightly romantic ... if a fourth grade hallway can really be romantic.
Imagine if you will, me, trudging up the two flights of stairs, bags and keys in hand, not being extremely quiet. Imagine me getting to the top of the stairs, huffing a bit as I kick myself for volunteering for the chaperoning gig in the first place, and then turning to see two middle schoolers in a lip lock.
Now, as a general rule, sixth, seventh, and eighth graders don't move with much speed. They tend to move at, shall we say, a snail's space, and that's usually ONLY when they are in a hurry. So imagine my surprise at the speed-of-light movement that occured as the eighth grade boy and seventh grade girl realized I'd caught them swapping tongues and exchanging spit!
I asked them where they were supposed to be and to get there, but, apparently, they really didn't take my warning to skee-dattle, because as soon as I passed them, they began phase two of Operation Suck Face.
[Insert evil laugh here] If this was the strategy they planned to employ, I decided to employ some of my own strategy by pulling out the big guns! The "big guns" would be our principal, by the way. [Insert my bigger, cheesier smile here] She marched down the hallway and caught them ... well, caught them lip-locked ... again!
What was more humorous than catching them in their passionate embrace was the excuses the young lethario made for why they were so close ... they were just talking (I often get that close to my friends when talking) ... they were hugging ...
Personally, I was holding out for the, "I swear! I was walking and I tripped and my lips hit hers ... I swear it!!!'
They've both been banned from the dance tonight, and now I must worry that my tires may be slashed or my truck keyed.
Ah ... middle school ... good times!
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