MEETING ONE'S MAKER

There are certain times in one's life when one experiences a defining moment. One of those moments came for me last night ... or perhaps I should, early this morning.

Kentucky has been experiencing some freakishly warm weather. We, from the north, know what this means.

1. This is not normal EVER in February.
2. This will end soon.
3. This will end badly ...

At about 1 a.m., I was awakened to the sounds of a tornado siren. Thankfully, I'd had the forethought to bring my purse, cell phone, and flashlight to bed with me. I grabbed all three, grabbed the cat, slipped on some turquiose flip-flops and headed down to my downstairs bathroom. I grabbed a bottle of water and threw that and my cat, purse and flashlight into the bathroom.

The meteorologist on the news was frantically telling those of us awake and panicky to get to a safe place in the house. I could hear the wind whipping around at this point, and it occurred to me, before entering the bathroom that :

1. I can't be found without a bra on ...
2. I wished I'd vacuumed the bathroom floor (loads of kitty litter on the floor in there) ...
3. I wonder how much of the crap I currently have in my closet could come flying in on top of me here in the bathroom.

I shut the bathroom door at the precise moment the tv weather guy was saying, "Frankfort! This is on top of you NOW!" and at the precise moment my electricity flickered and went off.

I could literally feel my townhouse shake as the wind ripped at it, and my final thoughts were, "This isn't how I thought it would end ... not at all how I want to be remembered, but all the same, it will make for a great story with the rescuers the next morning, as, after digging through the rubble, they find me wrapped around my toilet, a psycho cat clinging to my head, impaled on a toilet plunger, and cat litter stuck to my butt!"