He didn't count on a 12-pound cat in his relaxing scenario
Four residences ago ... by the way, that's how I count time in my adult life ... by the places I've lived in. Considering that I've been on my own since I was 23 or 24 (I was a late bloomer -- don't judge), I have occupied six apartments and/or houses. That's a lot of years in either cat or human years. It doesn't matter which you're counting.
So, four humble abodes ago, I decided that I needed to expand my horizons as well as limber up my aging muscles, and I purchased some yoga DVDs.
Oh who am I kidding? In the spirit of full disclosure, I purchased a few VCR tapes. Good grief! Four houses ago, I was probably 29 NOT my current 39, and I didn't have the first clue what stiff muscles were back then!
But I purchased this VCR tape (I might want to upgrade to the DVD, considering the tape was making a weird crunching sound this morning) entitled AM Yoga. I purchased this tape despite the fact that yoga dude on the front was in a black Speedo.
Can I just digress for a moment here and say .... EEEEWWWWW!
Gentlemen, really? There is only one time that I can see that sporting a Speedo is necessary, and that would be if you are an Olympic-caliber swimmer, and heck! Even those dudes are sooooo over the Speedo. You've noticed that they are starting to wear body suits, right? Even those guys are grossed out by their own scantily clad bodies ... and they are FIT! Absolutely no body fat whatsoever. No beer gut, and let's also come to terms with something else here, guys. Drinking light beer isn't going to reduce the belly fat any further and allow you to squeeze into one of those fashion nightmares.
Please, male readers, please. Spare us all (and yourselves) a stomach revolting view. Just invest in some board shorts, please. I beg of you.
Despite the fact that the yoga dude was in a Speedo, I bought the tape because it claimed to help transition a person from waking to day in 20 minutes, and let's face it. Who doesn't need such a transition? I mean, I've got my coffee, but if I can gain the help of the dude on the beach with sun rising over his ... well, his Speedo, then sign me up!
And the natural setting they used is breathtaking ... gorgeous lake ... sun rising ... waves lapping onto the golden beaches ... relaxing mood music ... it's serene, and honestly, if I could do AM Yoga every morning in that sort of a setting, mornings might not be so difficult to come to terms with.
What you don't see in the video is a 12-pound cat that comes out of NO WHERE and stretches out lazily on the yoga mat in a blink of an eye and then refuses to be removed from said yoga mat without the use of force ... claws ... bared teeth ... and a few well-chosen curses.
What you don't see in the video, as yoga dude is relaxing into reclined mountain pose, is the aforementioned feline sticking her tongue in the yoga devotee's nose, because for some unknown and inexplicable reason, there is an urgency in licking the inside of the human's nose.
What you don't see in the video is the 12-pound cat racing around the individual, who is desperately trying to relax and transition from wake to day, batting at toys that she has turned her nose up at for three days straight, but for some reason MUST. PLAY. WITH. THEM. ALL. AT. THE. MOMENT. HUMAN. ATTEMPTS. DOWNWARD. DOG.
I'm not sure how well I transitioned from wake to day, but I did narrowly escape serious injury to my neck. For that I can be eternally grateful.
So, four humble abodes ago, I decided that I needed to expand my horizons as well as limber up my aging muscles, and I purchased some yoga DVDs.
Oh who am I kidding? In the spirit of full disclosure, I purchased a few VCR tapes. Good grief! Four houses ago, I was probably 29 NOT my current 39, and I didn't have the first clue what stiff muscles were back then!
But I purchased this VCR tape (I might want to upgrade to the DVD, considering the tape was making a weird crunching sound this morning) entitled AM Yoga. I purchased this tape despite the fact that yoga dude on the front was in a black Speedo.
Can I just digress for a moment here and say .... EEEEWWWWW!
Gentlemen, really? There is only one time that I can see that sporting a Speedo is necessary, and that would be if you are an Olympic-caliber swimmer, and heck! Even those dudes are sooooo over the Speedo. You've noticed that they are starting to wear body suits, right? Even those guys are grossed out by their own scantily clad bodies ... and they are FIT! Absolutely no body fat whatsoever. No beer gut, and let's also come to terms with something else here, guys. Drinking light beer isn't going to reduce the belly fat any further and allow you to squeeze into one of those fashion nightmares.
Please, male readers, please. Spare us all (and yourselves) a stomach revolting view. Just invest in some board shorts, please. I beg of you.
Despite the fact that the yoga dude was in a Speedo, I bought the tape because it claimed to help transition a person from waking to day in 20 minutes, and let's face it. Who doesn't need such a transition? I mean, I've got my coffee, but if I can gain the help of the dude on the beach with sun rising over his ... well, his Speedo, then sign me up!
And the natural setting they used is breathtaking ... gorgeous lake ... sun rising ... waves lapping onto the golden beaches ... relaxing mood music ... it's serene, and honestly, if I could do AM Yoga every morning in that sort of a setting, mornings might not be so difficult to come to terms with.
What you don't see in the video is a 12-pound cat that comes out of NO WHERE and stretches out lazily on the yoga mat in a blink of an eye and then refuses to be removed from said yoga mat without the use of force ... claws ... bared teeth ... and a few well-chosen curses.
What you don't see in the video, as yoga dude is relaxing into reclined mountain pose, is the aforementioned feline sticking her tongue in the yoga devotee's nose, because for some unknown and inexplicable reason, there is an urgency in licking the inside of the human's nose.
What you don't see in the video is the 12-pound cat racing around the individual, who is desperately trying to relax and transition from wake to day, batting at toys that she has turned her nose up at for three days straight, but for some reason MUST. PLAY. WITH. THEM. ALL. AT. THE. MOMENT. HUMAN. ATTEMPTS. DOWNWARD. DOG.
I'm not sure how well I transitioned from wake to day, but I did narrowly escape serious injury to my neck. For that I can be eternally grateful.
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