I have been suffering from a severe lack of motivation for a while now ... like a year or more. It's bad, and it's only gotten worse as the years have gone by ... read, as I've gotten older.
I am not sure if it's the depression (my medicine should be helping that) or just my complete lack of caring, but I've just been in a funk.
My house shows it.
It's not filthy by other people's standards. It is by mine, but I suspect, most people would come into my house and be all, "Well, this place looks great!"
They've not looked that closely though. Oh boy, if they did!
When I first moved out on my own, every Saturday morning, I'd clean my ENTIRE apartment. From top to bottom. The ENTIRE thing. Now, it was an apartment. It had all of four rooms in it. But still. I could do it in a morning, and still have all of the late morning and afternoon to do whatever I want.
Now? The mere mention of getting my vacuum out overwhelms me. Why is that?
I honestly used to like cleaning, and I live in a lovely house now. By far, one of the best places I've ever lived (well, besides the house on Burr Oak Street back in Michigan). This mere fact should motivate me, right? So, what is the problem?
I think it's overwork. I'm not trying to make an excuse, but I think I get such a lack of sleep and am so overwhelmed by exhaustion that by the time it comes to doing work at home, well, let's just say the spizerinktem has all but left my body.
And the spiders overtake the place ...
The other thing that has taken a lot of my time?
Social media. I spend a lot of time on social media. A LOT. And while I get to see what others are doing in their busy lives, I fail to live mine!
I read an article today that said one of the ways to boost motivation is to not sit down for more than an hour.
Yep! I would agree. Sitting down for me is terminal. Fatal. DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!
Today, while sitting here in my jammies at 10:48 a.m., I am turning over a new leaf. Yes, my dear readers, I am going to take back my life.
Lest you think I am loafing today ... okay, I loafed for a bit. However, I just vacuumed the ENTIRE house, researched homemade spider sprays, and am getting ready to go out and mow the lawn, hopefully, for the very last time this year.
So, taking back my life. I guess that means, I am only looking at social media once a day. ONCE A DAY. I am going to care a little less what the rest of you are doing with your days. I love you, but seriously. I need to take back my life.
I am going to look for ways to be more active.
I am going to look for ways to decompress.
I plan to be in my bed by 9 p.m., a book in hand, readying myself for sleep. If I can get a handle on the exhaustion, perhaps I can finally feel like tackling more things in my life.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. I will likely fail miserably, but if I can pick myself back up and get moving again, I feel like I might find my motivation again.
Wish me luck!