You know that old adage, "Practice what you preach?"
Well, I may not always good at that.
In fact, I might be really, really bad at it.
I've been having these personal praise and worship moments in my car and in my living room and in my kitchen and just all over the place lately, and the one thing I've been prompted by the Holy Spirit the most during those times is this:
Will you praise me in the tough times? Will you trust me in the tough times?
Just so you are aware, it's super easy to answer YES! emphatically when you're in the midst of the fun, happy times ... when you are in the midst of a lull in yucky life stuff ... when you are in the middle of rich worship time.
In the midst of deadlines looming and car parts failing and a tooth that needs a crown and the pressure of my job weighing heavily on me and too much month and not enough paycheck? I find it so much more difficult.
I want so badly for things to always be easy. But then, if things were always easy, my faith muscles would be so very flabby ... much like my current muscles. Y'all. The flab!
Today, after panic set in over car troubles once again, I said a wimpy little prayer. I told God I was trusting Him. I would do so in such a sloppy, ugly, whiny fashion, but by the time, I'd opened up this blog to begin typing, my nerves had calmed, and I was feeling more at peace.
Trust is so hard. Trust in something .... some one where there isn't the typical, tangible form is so very difficult. For people who do not believe, it's even tougher.
I tend to default to the Dollar Signs ... they tend to take wing and fly out of my purse. That causes stress. That causes lack of trust in my God and an uncertain trust in my human ability to make it all better (which I don't, just so you are aware). It's an ugly cycle ...
But I have to remind myself that He is in control. He guided me to that car. He made the way available to me. He dreams bigger than I could dream for myself. He has this in the palm of His hand. That alone should be comforting.
That alone IS comforting.
I just need to believe in what I'm saying. I need to have faith.