Blaming other people for your shortcomings is a cop out.
Blaming other people for your feelings of inadequacies is a cop out.
Blaming other people for not getting to your next level is a cop out.
I speak from a great depth and breadth of experience. There have been so many times where I've attempted to blame other people for my issue. My issue? A lack of self-confidence. Plain and simple.
It isn't right nor is it fair to make other people own your issues. What I've learned from my years in my 20s ... and my 30s ... is that if I am projecting a feeling of "not measuring up," it's usually because I am comparing myself to others rather than just focusing on the task at hand and doing it to the best of my ability.
The moment I got it straight in my head that measuring myself against others is not only stupid, it's dangerous, well, let's just say that I became a stronger version of myself.
Most people put their best foot forward, and that foot oftentimes is a sham. It would seem in today's society we fall into this "putting up appearances" trap.
"I have to show how perfectly clean my house is."
"I have to show how perfectly dressed my kids are."
"I have to show how perfect my marriage is."
"I have to show that I have it all under control."
And where does it get us? Well, one thing I've noticed is that we get cut throat. We are more willing to mow over someone else to make sure we get noticed, we get the accolades, we sound like we have the expertise, we have the knowledge.
I work really hard to show an authentic life. That means is that I will authentically point out that I've gained a ton of weight. It will also mean you will see my hot mess of an outfit ... the crazy hair that does it's own thing ... a speck of something between my teeth ... my discouragement wrapped around my physical issues ... my struggles as a single woman in a world of couples.
I am not going to say that I don't still struggle with measuring myself to others. I still catch myself doing that.
I am not going to say that it doesn't still smart when I don't get the invitation to the party or shower or wedding or night hanging with friends. Being left out does smart.
However, what I have to remember is that my worth isn't wrapped up in anyone else. My worth is wrapped in Christ. The only person I strive to measure myself against is Christ.
As such, if I am working to meet my potential as Christ's child, then I need to be willing to take the high road. I need to be willing to smile, recognize that person's issues are NOT mine, and move past it.
It's like a car wreck. Why would any one roll up on a car wreck, look at the carnage, and then tell the police officer, "well, this had to be my fault."
Nope. No one would do that.
I will strive to take the high road. Will you?