Saturday, April 01, 2017

SPANX, NAIL POLISH, AND PUTTING ON SOME MAKE UP

I was invited to a dear friend's birthday celebration. It's a birthday tea ... at an honest to goodness tea house ... salon ... okay, tea place.

Anyway, they serve high tea. So, I knew immediately, this was more than just a "make sure the good jeans are clean" kinda day.  The problem is, and I am being brutally honest here, I have let myself go.....like REALLY go.....like, "someone find her the nearest grocery cart for her bag lady look" go.

I wasn't even sure I had a dress that would fit!

But as I've said sooooo many times you are all probably ready to puke from sheer boredom, I am attempting to fill my emotional tank. Filling my tank today meant putting on my girlie best.

I am a fan of the 5-minute face. I am also a fan of the 5-minute hair.  I love that I really only need to spend 10 minutes in front of the mirror (not counting the teeth-brushing/flossing time).  It makes up for the HOURS I spent in front of it in the 80's.  Y'all. One can of White Rain per week!

However, this is a tea room.  It seems to speak to elegance and grace and gentility.  This knocks me out almost immediately, seeing as I exude none of these things, but I was determined to pretend.  Girlie it up a bit!

So, I got out the "it looks like make-up" make up -- I usually defer to the "doesn't look like make-up" make-up.  Plus, there is only so much spackling a person can do in five minutes, right?!

I spent more time.  I added darker eye colors.  I put on some blush ... or more of it, I should say.  I unearthed my Spanx, wrestled those suckers on (heaven help me should I need to use the restroom!), and dug around my jewelry box until I uncovered my pearls.  Tea calls for pearls, no?

I threw on a leopard print cardi ... I dug out a vintage hand bag. I painted my toe nails AND fingernails BRIGHT, FIRE ENGINE RED, y'all!

The final result?

Well, I resemble a trollop, but a girlie one -- which seems a bit redundant, but whatever.

I team room ready.  Or as tea room ready as this Northern girl is going to get.




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