GOOD FRIENDS AND NOT LETTING THE JOY GET ROBBED

*Certain names may have been changed for privacy.

You know when you struggle ...struggle in the mire of your inner self and what the world is telling you and the way you're feeling about yourself ... and it's this mass of ugliness and sadness and anger and rage and confusion all rolled into one toxic cocktail that just really brings you down?

Yeah ... that was me last night.

Introspection is both healthy and lethal, and I was having one of those crazy combos last night ... full of second-guessing and worry about worth in the eyes of others and questioning the minutiae of my days, and then Carrie called.

And for three hours, she and I really talked about life and the demands our days and the demands we put on our days and our crazy self-talk and our need to be better, always better ... and then she said something to me.

"You know, co-teaching with Samantha* has really changed my perspective on things."

"Really? How so?"

"Well, I knew that she'd had a hysterectomy, but what I didn't realize is that she had it because she had cancer. So, she's a survivor. She survived cancer. And you know what she said to me one? She said, 'You know what? Life's too short. My family and my friends are my priority. Yes, this job is important, but it's not my life. It really isn't my life'."

Wow. How soon I forget that fact.

Carrie said that she's really trying to focus on the positive and laugh at the things that used to get her completely unwound, and you know what. I need to do that, too.

I can make excuses for everything I do in my life. I really can. I'm the queen of excuse-making, but the bottom line is that at some point, I have to embrace this life and really, truly enjoy it! I've only got this one, and I'm not entirely sure how long it will last. So, rather than make myself crazy over the silly stuff ... the crazy people I come into contact with daily ... or the hurt feelings perceived or otherwise ... I need to be in the moment, embracing the positive.

What a different quality of life I could lead if I approached everything with a laid-back, Pollyanna attitude.

So, I'm working toward a new goal, and that is not letting my joy be robbed by the craziness that is my world. Embrace every last ounce of this life ...

I think of the new movie coming out on Amelia Earhart. Why do we gravitate to people like that? Because folks like her embraced a dream and chased after it.

I've got bigger dreams, and I can't reach them if I'm wallowing in the negative stuff.

Enough already!

At some point, the cycle has to be broken, and why not start with me!

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