RUMINATING AND COGITATING

I had someone ask me recently, so how are you doing? Do you want to talk about it?

(IT, in case you weren't aware, is unemployment, insane job possibilities gone really wrong, relational train wrecks, you know ... LIFE).

My reply was, "I'm soooo sick of myself."

My friend laughed. "Well, I guess that means no, you don't want to talk about IT. Next topic."

I was reminded of that conversation today -- and at my weariness of myself -- while listening to a song. I include the lyrics below:

WORD OF GOD SPEAK (sung by MercyMe)
I'm finding myself at a loss for words/And the funny thing is it's okay/The last thing I need is to be heard/But to hear what You would say


[CHORUS]Word of God speak/Would You pour down like rain/Washing my eyes to see/Your majesty/To be still and know/That You're in this place/Please let me stay and rest/In Your holiness /Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You/Beyond the music, beyond the noise/All that I need is to be with You/And in the quiet hear Your voice

I'm finding myself at a loss for words/And the funny thing is it's okay

Wow, those words resonate in my very being.

My sister claims I'm one of only a few people that could clap-trap (her words) and really never say anything. I'm not sure that's entirely true, but I will agree with her in that I have A LOT to say. The thing is I never seem to take a breath ... or at least on very rare occasions do I breathe.

Yet, I'm very quick to complain when I just don't hear God speaking. Dude! Do you blame Him for not being able to? I'm talking over Him, apparently.

My mind wanders to the great examples in history like the Apostle Paul. That guy was on fire! He had a passion for seeing the church grow. I'm guessing in his private moments he dreamt of a great revival ...

I ask myself ... was Paul a clap-trap? Did he talk over God?

In the quiet of this place, I need to just sit and be in the presence of the Great One. I need to bask in His goodness. I need to revel in the fact that through the burning debris that is my life, I'm abundantly blessed. Beyond the music, beyond the noise, I need to recognize the love that surrounds me ... the moments of peace that invade my spirit when the world is crashing down around me. The sweet moments of surprise that He manages to slip into days of muck and mud.
The last thing that needs to happen is for me to be heard. Rather, I need to be ready to hear ... Word of God Speak ...

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