CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN SISTERS

My sister, Ann, is buying a house. Well, I should put that in the past tense, because she signed on the dotted line last week. She is now officially a Big Girl.

My mother says that when you get Ann and I in the same room, and you get us wound up, we're a hoot to listen to. I suppose that's the case. But my mother insists that it is, indeed, true, and to further her cargument, she reminded me of the time Ann went down a grocery store aisle, saying, very loudly, "Mommy! Mommy! I've lost my mommy!"

Ann was in her 20s, and I was laughing so hard I almost wet my pants.

It was Ann's ode to our father's favorite movie of all time, MEATBALLS. He's a very discerning film critic, my dad.

We're just goofy like that.

So, yesterday, Ann and I were at Ann's new place, with her friend Johanna. I got stuck cleaning the schmeg off of every surface the former owners never dreamed of cleaning ... surfaces like, well, floors, for instance.

Anyway, mid-way through the day, some guy pulled up to her place.

"Hey, Ann," I shout as I pass by her door. "Some guy in a van with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, just pulled up."

"What the heck?" She muttered as she went to the door. "Oh, he's here to fix the siding."

"Cool." I reply. "Is he cute?"

"Is he cute? Why, do you want his number?"

"I'm just sayin'!"

The guy busied himself with the siding and that cigarette, and I busied myself with dumping some grotesque water outside in her new backyard.

Me and my crap sweatpants made our way to the back, dumped the water, and headed back to the house. The siding guy, meanwhile, had disembarked from the ladder and had been standing there watching my butt in the air, I am sure, as I dumped the water.

"Hi!" He smiled.

"Hello," I replied.

"How are you," he said, grabbing hold of the ladder.

"I'm good, and yourself?"

"I'm fantastic."

"That's great," I smiled as I walked inside.

"Hey, Ann. Your handyman and I just had a moment."

"A moment?"

"Yep, we had a moment."

"Whatever!"

********************
Later on that day ...

"Meg, what do you think about me leaving the trim dark and just painting the walls white? I sort of like the contrast."

"I'm not a fan. It looks like Ode to Brady Bunch. 'Here's a story, of a lovely lady, who-o bought a brand new house in Lexington' ..."

"SHUT UP!"

"I'm just sayin' ..."

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