COLD WEATHER TIPS FROM A SEASONED, SLIGHTLY WEATHERED, FORMER NORTHERN CHICK

It's -2 this morning. Every single school in the Commonwealth has had their school day cancelled, or, at the very least, delayed, except for my district. This, surprisingly enough, is okay with me, because at least that's one bullet dodged in the "we're sorry, but you're going to have to pay your decadent snow day back on those well-earned, always short spring break days." I'm okay with it.

For those not accustomed to the frigid, deep freeze that typifies a January weather cycle (at least in Michigan most years), I'd like to pass on a few winter weather tips.

1. Think layers. You may end up looking like the Michelin man, but the alternative, missing digits due to frostbite, for example, is NEVER a good look, irregardless of your sudden marketability where horror films are concerned.
2. Always have a full gas tank. Condensation that freezes in the gas tank due to dipping temps can cause, as my father would say, "a mell of a hess!"
3. Embrace your inner Eskimo.
4. Homemade soups WILL make you feel warm and cozy ... it's researched-based, folks.
5. Keep your curtains drawn and your blinds down. It makes your house dark and dreary, but it keeps your heat in! This becomes extremely important when the heating bill lands in your mailbox.
6. Never, ever, under any circumstances, lick a cold, metal object. Nothing good can ever come of that sort of behavior.