CHRISTMAS CARNAGE 2009 -- REVENGE OF THE KITTEN

Emmy has been a scourge on Christmas.

She has broken or maimed no less than 5 Christmas ornaments and has managed to strip the tree, at various times the last three weeks, of a total of 15 ornaments.

For five seconds after I hung the last bauble, the tree looked fantastic.

Now however?? Well, now, it looks like someone really tall decorated the tree as all of the ornaments are now on the top half of the tree, the bottom half being suspiciously bare.

I've tried all the stuff you are suppose to try with her ... spraying her face with water ... spraying her butt ... spraying her down so she's soaking wet ... smacking her butt with a paper ... smacking her butt with a magazine ... just plain smacking her butt. I've stuffed everything but the kitchen sink underneath the tree, and she still manages to dig everything out from underneath, and wreck havoc!

The other thing that is truly funny -- if it weren't so maddening -- is that she tells on herself just before she plucks an ornament off the tree and sends it sailing. How does she do this, you might ask? Why she meows ... LOUDLY. Then, pretty as you please, she takes her big, furry paw, and smacks the offending bauble off the tree ... and the chase is on ... Emmy chasing the bauble ... me chasing the cat ... the cat running madly around the house, ornament in tow, quite literally.

I'm exhausted, and if the tree ends up looking like it went through World War III .... well, so what. It was a homespun Christmas this year, courtesy of the cat.

Again, I ask myself, how DO I end up with these animals?

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