MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT
I had a real, live conservation with a real, live man today! What proceeds is the detailed conversation with Lane (name has been changed). The conversation in the ( ) is what went on inside my head.
Lane: "Hello."
Me: "Hi there." (Mayday! Mayday! Man entering my general vicinity. Sector 1, teeth check. Sector 2, voice maintenance ... no squeaks!)
Lane: "Your name is?"
Me: "Megan. Megan Murray" (Maintain eye contact! Maintain eye contact! Hello, those are some nice eyes to be contacting with!)
Lane: "I should have introduced myself a while ago. It's nice to meet you."
Me: "It's nice to meet you, too." (Crap! Why is my face turning red? I know it's turning red!!)
Lane: "So, how's it going?"
Me: "Very well, thank you." (Danger! Red Alert! Arm pits are getting sweaty! Maintain composure. Smile! Oh heavens! If you showed anymore teeth, you'd be prepared to start ripping into his flesh like a rabid bear!).
Lane: "You've got an interesting group here."
Me: folding my arms ... "Yes, yes, I do." (Why are you folding your arms? Hello! Just scream out the words EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE! AND FOR THE LOVE ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT IN THIS WORLD, MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Lane: "They're good kids, though."
Me: "They are. I'm really enjoying them." (And your eyes aren't bad either! But could I interest you in a razor?)"
Lane: "Well, it seems you've got it under control. I just wanted to say hi."
Me: "Well, thanks for coming and saying hi. (Red alert! Cheesy come back! Cheesy come back! Please press auto pilot for recovery plan!)
Lane: "I'll talk to you later." Turns to leave
Me: "Yes. Thanks again for stopping by." (RED ALERT over. You are one hopeless case.)
Face goes back to normal, flesh color ...
Lane: "Hello."
Me: "Hi there." (Mayday! Mayday! Man entering my general vicinity. Sector 1, teeth check. Sector 2, voice maintenance ... no squeaks!)
Lane: "Your name is?"
Me: "Megan. Megan Murray" (Maintain eye contact! Maintain eye contact! Hello, those are some nice eyes to be contacting with!)
Lane: "I should have introduced myself a while ago. It's nice to meet you."
Me: "It's nice to meet you, too." (Crap! Why is my face turning red? I know it's turning red!!)
Lane: "So, how's it going?"
Me: "Very well, thank you." (Danger! Red Alert! Arm pits are getting sweaty! Maintain composure. Smile! Oh heavens! If you showed anymore teeth, you'd be prepared to start ripping into his flesh like a rabid bear!).
Lane: "You've got an interesting group here."
Me: folding my arms ... "Yes, yes, I do." (Why are you folding your arms? Hello! Just scream out the words EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE! AND FOR THE LOVE ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT IN THIS WORLD, MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Lane: "They're good kids, though."
Me: "They are. I'm really enjoying them." (And your eyes aren't bad either! But could I interest you in a razor?)"
Lane: "Well, it seems you've got it under control. I just wanted to say hi."
Me: "Well, thanks for coming and saying hi. (Red alert! Cheesy come back! Cheesy come back! Please press auto pilot for recovery plan!)
Lane: "I'll talk to you later." Turns to leave
Me: "Yes. Thanks again for stopping by." (RED ALERT over. You are one hopeless case.)
Face goes back to normal, flesh color ...
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