INTERNAL MANTRAS

WHAT'S PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN I WISH THE CUTE GUY WOULD NOTICE ME:
Stand up straight! Suck in that gut! Dude, did you have to wear that outfit today? Why did you eat that second cookie???

WHAT'S PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN 16 FIRST GRADERS ARE ALL ASKING FOR DRINKS AT THE SAME TIME:
I really hate my name!

WHAT'S PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN OPRAH HAS HER WARDROBE SHOWS:
Sure! I'll run right out and get that $100 bra! I mean, doesn't every body make a million dollars just getting out of bed in the morning??

WHAT'S PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN I WATCH THE BACHELOR:
Why am I killing more brain cells watching this drivel?

WHAT'S PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN I WATCH AMERICAN IDOL:
Why am I killing more brain cells watching this drivel?

WHAT'S PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN I LOOK IN THE REFRIGERATOR:
I wonder how much a dinner fairy would cost?

WHAT'S PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN I LOOK AT ALL THE PET HAIR ROLLING AROUND ON MY FLOORS:
Wonder how much a cleaning fairy would cost?

WHAT'S PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN I PEER INTO THE CLOSET EVERY MORNING:
Why doesn't the clothes god like me?