I'M SORRY OFFICER. DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?
So I have a question for the great, cosmic blogosphere ...
I went to the Walmart in the neighboring town (some 10 to 15 miles away) because A.) my Walmart is a MAD-HOUSE on Saturdays, or pretty much ANY day of the week .... and B.) I just didn't feel like running into any of my kids (or their parents) today ...
So I pulled into the parking lot, grabbed my list, and headed on in for what ended up being a VERY pleasant experience at Walmart. But that should be saved for another blog ...
As I emerged from Walmart, into the bright, sunny, fall afternoon, I witnessed a Kentucky State Trooper, with his lights flashing, ticketing someone, IN A WALMART PARKING SPOT. Clearly, the trooper had nabbed him or her speeding out on 127, but I think, the offending driver had hoped to evade the officer by whipping neatly into the Walmart parking lot.
Not so much ...
Now, to the meat of my blog ... what does one say as one sits in one's parking spot (a very nice one, I might add, right near the entrance) to the officer as he asks one for one's driver's license and proof of insurance?
I really am not trying to be snarky here, folks. I want to know as a citizen that has been pulled over twice in the last three years ... the first time being on I-65 in Louisville as I was, apparently, speeding home from a very bad interview in Tennessee, and the second time being in Indianapolis a week ago today! I want to be prepared for what I know will be an inevitability later on in my life ... how much later remains to be seen ...
Inquiring minds want to know how one talks oneself out of a ticket sitting in the Walmart parking lot as one has been unsuccessful up to this point in talking oneself out of tickets (the snotty officer in Louisville would not hear of it ... the trooper in Indiana saw the error of his ways before I could come up with a suitable "but officer" whine, and let me go without even asking for my driver's license).
I mean, how does that play out?
"Officer, it's the funniest thing! My foot just gets really heavy the closer I get to Walmart. Doctors are stumped!"
Or ...
"We've got a toilet paper issue at home, sir. I'm sorry I was speeding, but I left my hubby on the pot waiting for some bum fodder. His reading material is only going to last just so long."
Perhaps ...
"Officer, could I introduce you to P.M.S.? MUST .... HAVE ... CHOCOLATE!!!!!"
What about ...
"Speeding? Isn't that all relative, according to Plato?"
I went to the Walmart in the neighboring town (some 10 to 15 miles away) because A.) my Walmart is a MAD-HOUSE on Saturdays, or pretty much ANY day of the week .... and B.) I just didn't feel like running into any of my kids (or their parents) today ...
So I pulled into the parking lot, grabbed my list, and headed on in for what ended up being a VERY pleasant experience at Walmart. But that should be saved for another blog ...
As I emerged from Walmart, into the bright, sunny, fall afternoon, I witnessed a Kentucky State Trooper, with his lights flashing, ticketing someone, IN A WALMART PARKING SPOT. Clearly, the trooper had nabbed him or her speeding out on 127, but I think, the offending driver had hoped to evade the officer by whipping neatly into the Walmart parking lot.
Not so much ...
Now, to the meat of my blog ... what does one say as one sits in one's parking spot (a very nice one, I might add, right near the entrance) to the officer as he asks one for one's driver's license and proof of insurance?
I really am not trying to be snarky here, folks. I want to know as a citizen that has been pulled over twice in the last three years ... the first time being on I-65 in Louisville as I was, apparently, speeding home from a very bad interview in Tennessee, and the second time being in Indianapolis a week ago today! I want to be prepared for what I know will be an inevitability later on in my life ... how much later remains to be seen ...
Inquiring minds want to know how one talks oneself out of a ticket sitting in the Walmart parking lot as one has been unsuccessful up to this point in talking oneself out of tickets (the snotty officer in Louisville would not hear of it ... the trooper in Indiana saw the error of his ways before I could come up with a suitable "but officer" whine, and let me go without even asking for my driver's license).
I mean, how does that play out?
"Officer, it's the funniest thing! My foot just gets really heavy the closer I get to Walmart. Doctors are stumped!"
Or ...
"We've got a toilet paper issue at home, sir. I'm sorry I was speeding, but I left my hubby on the pot waiting for some bum fodder. His reading material is only going to last just so long."
Perhaps ...
"Officer, could I introduce you to P.M.S.? MUST .... HAVE ... CHOCOLATE!!!!!"
What about ...
"Speeding? Isn't that all relative, according to Plato?"
Comments