GETTING SERIOUS
There's a song out right now that has some lyrics that have really resonated with me lately ...
"There's a place in your heart, that no body's been, take me there.
Things nobody knows, not even your friends, take me there ....
Tell me what your story is ..."
-- From TAKE ME THERE lyrics by Kenny Chesney, Wendell Mobley, and Neil Thrasher
I don't know why, but there are certain parts of me that are hidden. I suppose that is the way of things for everyone. But I've spent a long time guarding those parts of me ... of my heart. In the past, my life has been an open book. What you see is what you get. To a certain extent, the same is true today. But that part that's hidden away ... that's in the secret compartment away from the general public, that's not on view for anyone.
There's also another part of me that's an over-achiever. I really am driven. I try to make sure that I am always doing the very best in my profession. I want to prove to some sort of unknown entity that I can do this.
Perhaps, somewhere back in time, someone voiced their doubts that I could actually do something and that is why I spend countless hours proving everyone wrong. Who knows. All I do know is that I've spent an awful lot of my adult life in FINDING MYSELF MODE and then in the coinciding PROVING MYSELF MODE.
In that breadth of time, I lost out on so many life experiences that have passed me by. Yes, I know, the old adage, no use crying over spilt milk. And I'm not. I am panicked, though.
I'm scared to death that in that span of time I've wasted insulating myself from the outside world, attempting to figure out who I was, I've forgotten how to get into the game. Maybe I never knew how the game worked in the first place. So, I'm fearful that the rules have changed, and I'm no longer in possession of the resources that will equip me to find the rules.
Most of all, I'm terrified that I've spent too much time selfishly looking for answers that were within me to begin with, and therefore, I've missed out on that one person that has the fortitude ... the sheer guts it's going to take to get to the inner depths to find those hidden parts of me ...
So, why am I publicly displaying this particular nugget of an otherwise very personal struggle?
I'm not sure ...
"There's a place in your heart, that no body's been, take me there.
Things nobody knows, not even your friends, take me there ....
Tell me what your story is ..."
-- From TAKE ME THERE lyrics by Kenny Chesney, Wendell Mobley, and Neil Thrasher
I don't know why, but there are certain parts of me that are hidden. I suppose that is the way of things for everyone. But I've spent a long time guarding those parts of me ... of my heart. In the past, my life has been an open book. What you see is what you get. To a certain extent, the same is true today. But that part that's hidden away ... that's in the secret compartment away from the general public, that's not on view for anyone.
There's also another part of me that's an over-achiever. I really am driven. I try to make sure that I am always doing the very best in my profession. I want to prove to some sort of unknown entity that I can do this.
Perhaps, somewhere back in time, someone voiced their doubts that I could actually do something and that is why I spend countless hours proving everyone wrong. Who knows. All I do know is that I've spent an awful lot of my adult life in FINDING MYSELF MODE and then in the coinciding PROVING MYSELF MODE.
In that breadth of time, I lost out on so many life experiences that have passed me by. Yes, I know, the old adage, no use crying over spilt milk. And I'm not. I am panicked, though.
I'm scared to death that in that span of time I've wasted insulating myself from the outside world, attempting to figure out who I was, I've forgotten how to get into the game. Maybe I never knew how the game worked in the first place. So, I'm fearful that the rules have changed, and I'm no longer in possession of the resources that will equip me to find the rules.
Most of all, I'm terrified that I've spent too much time selfishly looking for answers that were within me to begin with, and therefore, I've missed out on that one person that has the fortitude ... the sheer guts it's going to take to get to the inner depths to find those hidden parts of me ...
So, why am I publicly displaying this particular nugget of an otherwise very personal struggle?
I'm not sure ...
Comments
I got the CD for Christmas, and, quite frankly, I love it ALL!