DIG OUT THE ARMOR AND GET READY TO RUMBLE
Well, I've gone and done it. I've made the yearly appointment TO HELL AND BACK WITH MADDIE THE CAT. Next Tuesday ... I can hardly wait. She's due for her yearly shots and licensing requirements that my county requires all pet owners to undertake.
It's really a whole afternoon's worth of O.R.D.E.A.L. The first ordeal is attempting to shove her rigid body into the cat carrier. Once that occurs, I must sit and listen to the flurry of kitty swearing that ensues. If this feline could talk, I'm pretty sure she'd swear like a drunken sailor and have that chain-smoking raspy voice, with a bit of a Bronx/New York accent accent mixed in for good measure. It takes probably 15 to 20 minutes to get from my house to Dr. Massey's office, across town. I feel pretty confident that I will hear some relatively choice words.
Once I get her royal highness to the office, the swearing starts in earnest and at an obviously higher decibel. Sometimes, I'm even treated to some rather threatening growls.
The real fun, though, begins when one of Dr. Massey's office assistants dares to stick her hand into the carrier in an attempt to drag her out. Yes, that is a performance worth many golden awards, mainly due to the rapid-fire shrieks that resemble those of a banshee's cries. I usually end up wearing a coat of hair, half of which I inhale.
Oh yes! This time of year is always great fun. I think I might just enjoy paying taxes to the federal government MORE than I enjoy taking Maddie to her vet. appointments.
It's really a whole afternoon's worth of O.R.D.E.A.L. The first ordeal is attempting to shove her rigid body into the cat carrier. Once that occurs, I must sit and listen to the flurry of kitty swearing that ensues. If this feline could talk, I'm pretty sure she'd swear like a drunken sailor and have that chain-smoking raspy voice, with a bit of a Bronx/New York accent accent mixed in for good measure. It takes probably 15 to 20 minutes to get from my house to Dr. Massey's office, across town. I feel pretty confident that I will hear some relatively choice words.
Once I get her royal highness to the office, the swearing starts in earnest and at an obviously higher decibel. Sometimes, I'm even treated to some rather threatening growls.
The real fun, though, begins when one of Dr. Massey's office assistants dares to stick her hand into the carrier in an attempt to drag her out. Yes, that is a performance worth many golden awards, mainly due to the rapid-fire shrieks that resemble those of a banshee's cries. I usually end up wearing a coat of hair, half of which I inhale.
Oh yes! This time of year is always great fun. I think I might just enjoy paying taxes to the federal government MORE than I enjoy taking Maddie to her vet. appointments.
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