I CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

Every month, the fourth grade has a representative from our local county health department run a class on health and well-being. Our rep is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. The kids all love her, and it's not just because she gives out fun prizes at the end of each lesson ... like she did the other day ... squishy stress balls.

This is a conversation I overheard yesterday, at the end of the day, when we were winding down and just chilling before announcements.

"Yeah ... whenever I can't fall asleep, and I need to relax, I just reach down and squeeze my ball."

Okay, it is at this point that one hears the cartoon sounds of screeching brakes as all action in the room, including any teacher action, came to an abrupt halt, and our shocked, collective gaze rested upon the speaker.

What ensued can only be described as a pregnant pause of sorts before I found my wits and said ...

"Ummm ... do you mean your stress ball? You squeeze your stress ball to relax and go to sleep? [in then in my head, "Please God, please, let that be what he squeezes]."

"Well, yeah! Of course, it's my stress ball. It really relaxes me."

And then a collective sigh of relief could be heard settling across the room ...