Making some changes
I don't know if it's because it's Monday or because I'm buying a house (and there's a lot of craziness that comes with that one!) or if it's because of the change of seasons or because, once again, I feel myself slipping away from this active, productive life that I envision for myself but which is not a reality ... at all. Whatever the reason, I woke up this morning saying to myself in the mirror, "YOU HAVE GOT TO MAKE A CHANGE."
I'm not just becoming a statistic, I AM the statistic, and it's gotta change!
I know, I know ... I say that all the time, and yet there's never any change. I never make exercise a habitual part of my routine.
I never make self-discovery through books and Bible study a habitual part of my routine.
I never create more time to "be out there and among people."
In other words, I pay lip service to it, but I never actually get around to committing. Does that make me a commitment phobe? Not sure, but while I'm searching for the answer to that question, I'm rapidly slipping into hermit mode. I'm just a fountain pen and a personal manifesto away from Uni bomber status, I fear.
And while I ponder that scary fate, another, more challenging question jumps up and grabs me: How come some people take to change in their lives so well, while others of us can't make it stick?
I love change! LOVE IT! I change my furniture around ALL the time. Used to never have the same hair-do twice ... change my make-up ... change my style ... I change everything! Variety is the spice of life, and I love spice life! So, why then can I not make positive changes that will affect my health and well-being? Why do I only choose to make cosmetic changes? Why am I afraid to make deep, life-changing changes?
Hmmm ... maybe because I'm actually afraid of the change? Maybe because I don't like change as well as I thought? Maybe because I'm afraid of failure?
Wait a second! Isn't this stuff for a therapist to discuss with me? Oh! That's right! I'm buying a house! I don't have money for a therapist. Silly me!
At any rate, changes must be made. So, while I'm packing more boxes and writing yet another paper for school, I'm going to make a list of the changes that need to be made ... an intentional list. A list that is completely do-able. And I'm going to start working on it. It's the only TO DO list that counts ...
I'm not just becoming a statistic, I AM the statistic, and it's gotta change!
I know, I know ... I say that all the time, and yet there's never any change. I never make exercise a habitual part of my routine.
I never make self-discovery through books and Bible study a habitual part of my routine.
I never create more time to "be out there and among people."
In other words, I pay lip service to it, but I never actually get around to committing. Does that make me a commitment phobe? Not sure, but while I'm searching for the answer to that question, I'm rapidly slipping into hermit mode. I'm just a fountain pen and a personal manifesto away from Uni bomber status, I fear.
And while I ponder that scary fate, another, more challenging question jumps up and grabs me: How come some people take to change in their lives so well, while others of us can't make it stick?
I love change! LOVE IT! I change my furniture around ALL the time. Used to never have the same hair-do twice ... change my make-up ... change my style ... I change everything! Variety is the spice of life, and I love spice life! So, why then can I not make positive changes that will affect my health and well-being? Why do I only choose to make cosmetic changes? Why am I afraid to make deep, life-changing changes?
Hmmm ... maybe because I'm actually afraid of the change? Maybe because I don't like change as well as I thought? Maybe because I'm afraid of failure?
Wait a second! Isn't this stuff for a therapist to discuss with me? Oh! That's right! I'm buying a house! I don't have money for a therapist. Silly me!
At any rate, changes must be made. So, while I'm packing more boxes and writing yet another paper for school, I'm going to make a list of the changes that need to be made ... an intentional list. A list that is completely do-able. And I'm going to start working on it. It's the only TO DO list that counts ...
Comments
Nee-Cee