WHAT HAPPENS IN GATLINBURG WON'T ALWAYS STAY IN GATLINBURG
Whew! Returned home from a WONDERFUL trip to Gatlinburg, TN, earlier this afternoon. The Smokies are just amazing, really. Gatlinburg is ... well, it's interesting. Loads of fun "people watching," that is for sure. But the company! Oh the company! I was with seven crazy women that just were a blast! We've nick-named ourselves THE BEARS -- a not-so-vague Smoky Mountain reference and a slightly warped travel sorority scheme we cooked up -- and we all dreamed up specific bear handles, RED BEAR, for example, is one of them.
A grrrrrr-EAT time was had by all -- pun intended.
Here are a few things I've learned about Gatlinburg ...
Fact #1 ... a person must do more than shout, "Right here, right here, right here!" when trying to direct a person around a hair pin curve and into the equally tricky and severely-angled driveway that leads, straight up, to your chalet. You need to be a bit more specific, like perhaps, point in the general direction of said driveway.
Fact #2 ... while entertaining, it is not the least bit helpful when the other half of your traveling party is standing on the deck above the hair pin curve screaming every time we go by the chalet to attack the curve ONE MORE TIME and attempt to zip into the chalet's drive-way BEFORE being hit by three on-coming cars zipping at top speed down the mountain.
Fact #3 ... It is possible to bottom out a Toyota TWICE, merely by adding 10 bags of clothes from the nearby outlet malls. The good news is, the oil pan is intact!
Fact #4 ... Eight women deciding to throw themselves a WHITE TRASH FORMAL is a sight to behold, and that is no lie! I have never in my life seen so much tackiness in one room, and I spent my tender teenage years in the era of Boy George (the 80s were just so wrong), so, really, that's saying something.
Fact #5 ... if, by chance, you happen to hear a rumor or two of a rabid beast that seemed to be roaming the mountains of Gatlinburg approximately January 13th thru the 15th ... well, let's just say that I doubt that it had anything to do with the fact that we dragged a karoke machine up to the chalet with us, and then proceeded to sing at the top of our out-of-tune-lungs to anything from I WILL SURVIVE to I'VE GOT FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES.
Fact #6 ... there should be a limit to the amount of Red Bulls one person can consume in a four hour road trip. SERIOUSLY!
Fact # 7 ... No two Subway restaurants are alike!
Fact #8 ... There is a perfectly, logical explanation as to why eight sane, highly-educated would women would rather sit outside, wrapped up in blankets at 12:00 a.m., in the freezing night air, than sit inside in front of a toasty fire that is roaring away. It's just that none of us has been able to come up with the explanation yet.
Fact #9 ... There is a reason why the Mexican restaurant in town is called NO WAY JOSE', and I think part of it has to do with what you (and the people near you) mumble later on in the evening!
A grrrrrr-EAT time was had by all -- pun intended.
Here are a few things I've learned about Gatlinburg ...
Fact #1 ... a person must do more than shout, "Right here, right here, right here!" when trying to direct a person around a hair pin curve and into the equally tricky and severely-angled driveway that leads, straight up, to your chalet. You need to be a bit more specific, like perhaps, point in the general direction of said driveway.
Fact #2 ... while entertaining, it is not the least bit helpful when the other half of your traveling party is standing on the deck above the hair pin curve screaming every time we go by the chalet to attack the curve ONE MORE TIME and attempt to zip into the chalet's drive-way BEFORE being hit by three on-coming cars zipping at top speed down the mountain.
Fact #3 ... It is possible to bottom out a Toyota TWICE, merely by adding 10 bags of clothes from the nearby outlet malls. The good news is, the oil pan is intact!
Fact #4 ... Eight women deciding to throw themselves a WHITE TRASH FORMAL is a sight to behold, and that is no lie! I have never in my life seen so much tackiness in one room, and I spent my tender teenage years in the era of Boy George (the 80s were just so wrong), so, really, that's saying something.
Fact #5 ... if, by chance, you happen to hear a rumor or two of a rabid beast that seemed to be roaming the mountains of Gatlinburg approximately January 13th thru the 15th ... well, let's just say that I doubt that it had anything to do with the fact that we dragged a karoke machine up to the chalet with us, and then proceeded to sing at the top of our out-of-tune-lungs to anything from I WILL SURVIVE to I'VE GOT FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES.
Fact #6 ... there should be a limit to the amount of Red Bulls one person can consume in a four hour road trip. SERIOUSLY!
Fact # 7 ... No two Subway restaurants are alike!
Fact #8 ... There is a perfectly, logical explanation as to why eight sane, highly-educated would women would rather sit outside, wrapped up in blankets at 12:00 a.m., in the freezing night air, than sit inside in front of a toasty fire that is roaring away. It's just that none of us has been able to come up with the explanation yet.
Fact #9 ... There is a reason why the Mexican restaurant in town is called NO WAY JOSE', and I think part of it has to do with what you (and the people near you) mumble later on in the evening!
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