OPUS

Probably 13 years ago, I went with Denise (correct me if I'm wrong, Nene) to see MR. HOLLAND'S OPUS in the theatre.

As I recall, the movie didn't garner great acclaim. It seems to me that it barely registered a blip on the MOVIES THAT ROCK OUR WORLDS arena. But it rocked my world. It was ground-breaking for me.

At the time, I was viewing the movie from a former student's point of view ... and from the perspective of someone who just desperately wanted to make a difference in her world and didn't have a clue how.

I remember being in tears as Mr. Holland walked into that auditorium and the crowd burst into uproarious applause in those final scenes. To be able to plow through a life and make that much of an impact on people ...

Today, I watched it again except, this time, I was watching it from a teacher's perspective. I gotta tell you, I wept more this time around than the first time I viewed it. It had a greater emotional impact for me than I ever could have imagined.

What an impact this man had on generations of students, in a job he didn't even want in the beginning ... it became the one thing he hated giving up.

How I can relate!

This career isn't something I went searching for ... rather, it found me, and it wouldn't let me go.

Mr. Holland loses his job at the end of the movie, when his principal is forced to cut the entire arts department in an effort to make budgetary cuts that will save his district. The scene where Mr. Holland sat in the empty classroom, with his last few boxes packed and ready to be taken away ... it brought me to tears ...

I remember the day I left my classroom in Michigan for the very last time ... I'd received yet another pink slip ... everyone else had already left for the summer, and there I was ... in an empty classroom, in an empty building, with just the memories of children's voices hanging in the air around me. Shutting the door, rattling it to make sure it was locked, it broke my heart. I remember leaving the building in tears ... knowing, deep in my soul, I wouldn't be coming back ... and not having a clue where the rest of my life was going ...

The pivotal scene is watching a tearful Mr. Holland lead his current and former students through a stirring performance of his opus, composed over a thirty year span of life and love and loss ...

I saw a student from last year at the book fair yesterday. She gave me a hug and then said, "We all miss you! We've taken a vote, and every single one of us want you back. You were an amazing teacher."

Beyond the fact that for one brief moment she buoyed my little ego, I felt almost sick in my heart. I don't want her to miss me. I want her to be irrevocably changed by something I said or did in that classroom. I want her to feel like she can tackle the world, as a woman and as a scholar because of something she discovered in my classroom. I want her to be a ripple in the sea of her humanity because of the impact of learning!

If she can do that ... if she is shaped by the things she internalized ... if she can be a better human being and a stronger woman because of a nugget she was able to analyze in my classroom, then it will all be worth it ... all the tears ... all the hard work ... all the sleepless nights ... all the sacrifice I've made, financially, personally, socially ... that, my friends, will be my Opus ...

Comments

Anonymous said…
I want to be you when I grow up =) and can I say I agree 100%~ Shanny
Megan said…
Thanks girl! I love ya!

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