WELL, THEREIN LIES YOUR PROBLEM
So, because I spend my entire day with fourth graders, I've come to realize that I suffer from similar issues as many stay-at-home moms. Stay-at-home moms have, for years, expressed frustration over spending their days talking with kids. While they love their children and love spending time with them, they crave the adult interaction.
I've come to a realization that due to my entire day of interacting with individuals that love everything that has to do with farts, I am almost entirely incapable of carrying on any sort of conversation that doesn't deviate from boogers or other bodily excrement. If an adult male were to walk up to me right now, I am not convinced a could make it much past, "Hey, did you know I know a kid that can belch his ABCs?"
It's sad really. I feel a stay-at-home mom's pain. I really do.
Today, at PT, I decided to break out of the booger zone, and actually try to have a real conversation ... an honest to goodness adult to adult interaction ... with a real boy! A boy that shaves ... and not just peach fuzz.
The cutie tech guy that came into give me my knee ultrasound was my guinea pig. Now, by the looks of him, he wasn't much past the age where the fascination with farting sounds has ended. However, I decided he was as good a test subject as any.
"So, what did you do to your knee?" said Tech Boy.
"Well, that is an interesting story." And then I proceeded to give him a rather disjointed dissertation of all the things I could have possibly done to said knee from present back to about circa 1998.
"Hmmm ..." He says thoughtfully, rubbing the ultrasound wand around the knee cap.
I looked thoughtfully out the window.
"Man, those bugs are loud."
"Yes," I say, thankful I don't have to show him the newest booger trick I learned from my fourth graders. "I bet that sound drives you crazy."
"Well, I only hear them on this side of the building, but when you go out the back door, it's awful."
"I bet."
More awkward silence.
"So, you know those are cicadas, right?" OH MY GOSH! I SOUND LIKE THE KID FROM JERRY McGUIRE ... Did you know the human head weighs 8 lbs?!?!?
"Huh. Didn't know what the bugs were called."
"Yep, cicadas. Read that in the newspaper." Ladies and gentlemen, she reads ... the newspaper. And that screams, 80 year old spinster.
"Huh," rub, rub, rub with the wand.
"So, what do they do?"
"Not sure," I shrug my shoulders.
"Huh," rub, rub, rub.
"Yeeeep." This is a riveting conversation, is it not?
Do you see my issue now?
I think I should have pulled out the booger trick ...
I've come to a realization that due to my entire day of interacting with individuals that love everything that has to do with farts, I am almost entirely incapable of carrying on any sort of conversation that doesn't deviate from boogers or other bodily excrement. If an adult male were to walk up to me right now, I am not convinced a could make it much past, "Hey, did you know I know a kid that can belch his ABCs?"
It's sad really. I feel a stay-at-home mom's pain. I really do.
Today, at PT, I decided to break out of the booger zone, and actually try to have a real conversation ... an honest to goodness adult to adult interaction ... with a real boy! A boy that shaves ... and not just peach fuzz.
The cutie tech guy that came into give me my knee ultrasound was my guinea pig. Now, by the looks of him, he wasn't much past the age where the fascination with farting sounds has ended. However, I decided he was as good a test subject as any.
"So, what did you do to your knee?" said Tech Boy.
"Well, that is an interesting story." And then I proceeded to give him a rather disjointed dissertation of all the things I could have possibly done to said knee from present back to about circa 1998.
"Hmmm ..." He says thoughtfully, rubbing the ultrasound wand around the knee cap.
I looked thoughtfully out the window.
"Man, those bugs are loud."
"Yes," I say, thankful I don't have to show him the newest booger trick I learned from my fourth graders. "I bet that sound drives you crazy."
"Well, I only hear them on this side of the building, but when you go out the back door, it's awful."
"I bet."
More awkward silence.
"So, you know those are cicadas, right?" OH MY GOSH! I SOUND LIKE THE KID FROM JERRY McGUIRE ... Did you know the human head weighs 8 lbs?!?!?
"Huh. Didn't know what the bugs were called."
"Yep, cicadas. Read that in the newspaper." Ladies and gentlemen, she reads ... the newspaper. And that screams, 80 year old spinster.
"Huh," rub, rub, rub with the wand.
"So, what do they do?"
"Not sure," I shrug my shoulders.
"Huh," rub, rub, rub.
"Yeeeep." This is a riveting conversation, is it not?
Do you see my issue now?
I think I should have pulled out the booger trick ...
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