Friday, November 07, 2008

PLEASE PASS THE BONG

I had an epiphany last night ... a startling discovery ... a scary realization.

I am living like a frat boy sans pony keg in the middle of my living room floor.

In talking with my mother on the phone last night, I realized that I couldn't remember when the last time was that I'd washed a bathroom sink. "I know I scrubbed toilets after my stomach flu incident."

"Well," my mother calculated on the other line. "That would be just before you came up to visit us on your Fall Break."

SERIOUSLY!?!?!? I've not done anything to my bathrooms since Fall Break? That's like one, two, ten ... like weeks!

GROSS!

So, in other words, my townhouse is a breeding ground for sickness and disease ... a biome of disgustingness just boiling and festering in its toxic juices.

That does it. It's been decided. I must clean my house ... before the CDC swoops in to study the 52 new strains of human flesh eating diseases that have cropped up on my kitchen floor.

2 comments:

Christy said...

You could spin this whole the other way, you know. By not cleaning, you are making your immune system fight off the invaders lurking around. Which, in turn, makes your immune system stronger with more antibodies to fight off the kiddie crud that gets passed around all winter long. You are really doing yourself a favor. It's like immune system boot camp!

Christy

Megan said...

Well, I suppose there is that angle. Although, how would I explain my recent bout of THROAT FUNK and the not so distant STOMACH HELL? All were contracted while living in the cess-pool that is my home. :)