PERHAPS KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE
It's because I spoke out against Mondays that my particular Monday ended on such a sour note.
It wasn't enough that I had a headache that grew in proportion to the size of the Chrysler Building. It wasn't enough that when children opened their mouths yesterday, my brain would start pulsing at such rates, I really felt like industrial solvents couldn't clean the mess that would occur post-brain explosion. And it wasn't enough that a cold front decided to rest directly above the school building only adding to the vice-like feel on my head and, as a result, my emotions, all day.
No, no. None of that was enough.
No, fate had to stick it to me one more time by allowing some sort of smallish troll with lots of unruly hair to take up residence in my bathroom sink ... the one I use to brush my teeth in ... and get ready in front of each morning ... yeah, that one. That stupid troll lives on despite T.H.R.E.E. applications of liquid plumber and an application of baking soda and vinegar, just because, well, I figured I'd really get that chemical reaction and ensuing breathing hazardous chemicals incident really rolling.
No, that insipid troll continues to live in the bowels of my upstairs plumbing despite the fact that I managed to capture at least three of its small children, judging by the size of unrecognizable hairball/congealed nastiness I kept pulling up with my make-shift rotor-rooter tool, i.e., wire hanger. My father is rolling his eyes right now as he envisions me poking holes in rotting pipes as I jab and stab with my wire hanger device.
Nope. Mr. Troll decided to fight for his territory beginning at 10:30 last night ... near as I can tell, he's still dominating the land-ownership arena this morning based on the standing water in the sink, despite the boiling water I poured into it.
But not even plumbing trolls were enough to show who was boss in the Day of the Week category, however. Nope, knowing that I never rested my head upon my pillow until sometime around 11:45 p.m., about an hour and a half PAST my bedtime, my body decided to stage a coupe. That's the only reason I can explain why the muscles in my left leg decided to riot in protest in the form of the world's worst Charlie horse, causing me to sit up in bed, crying out in pain, as my poor cat, flew off the bed in a panic, right out of a dead sleep.
Then, an hour and a half later, my alarm went off, and, well, wouldn't you know it, I've got another headache!
It wasn't enough that I had a headache that grew in proportion to the size of the Chrysler Building. It wasn't enough that when children opened their mouths yesterday, my brain would start pulsing at such rates, I really felt like industrial solvents couldn't clean the mess that would occur post-brain explosion. And it wasn't enough that a cold front decided to rest directly above the school building only adding to the vice-like feel on my head and, as a result, my emotions, all day.
No, no. None of that was enough.
No, fate had to stick it to me one more time by allowing some sort of smallish troll with lots of unruly hair to take up residence in my bathroom sink ... the one I use to brush my teeth in ... and get ready in front of each morning ... yeah, that one. That stupid troll lives on despite T.H.R.E.E. applications of liquid plumber and an application of baking soda and vinegar, just because, well, I figured I'd really get that chemical reaction and ensuing breathing hazardous chemicals incident really rolling.
No, that insipid troll continues to live in the bowels of my upstairs plumbing despite the fact that I managed to capture at least three of its small children, judging by the size of unrecognizable hairball/congealed nastiness I kept pulling up with my make-shift rotor-rooter tool, i.e., wire hanger. My father is rolling his eyes right now as he envisions me poking holes in rotting pipes as I jab and stab with my wire hanger device.
Nope. Mr. Troll decided to fight for his territory beginning at 10:30 last night ... near as I can tell, he's still dominating the land-ownership arena this morning based on the standing water in the sink, despite the boiling water I poured into it.
But not even plumbing trolls were enough to show who was boss in the Day of the Week category, however. Nope, knowing that I never rested my head upon my pillow until sometime around 11:45 p.m., about an hour and a half PAST my bedtime, my body decided to stage a coupe. That's the only reason I can explain why the muscles in my left leg decided to riot in protest in the form of the world's worst Charlie horse, causing me to sit up in bed, crying out in pain, as my poor cat, flew off the bed in a panic, right out of a dead sleep.
Then, an hour and a half later, my alarm went off, and, well, wouldn't you know it, I've got another headache!
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