WEEPY EVENING

Well, the tears came quite by surprise, let me tell you! I always get a little teary when I say good-bye to my parents (I've done it four times now), but the tears usually come quickly and leave just as quickly. Saying good-bye sucks, after all, but we all do it, and then move on.

Not tonight, though. For some reason, I said good-bye, the tears came, mom and dad left, and I continued to bawl ... long sobs.

Today was an emotional day. I suppose part of it is the holidays. I suppose another part of it is that I've had so much fun playing with my family. We've done so much, and really, we could have just been fiddling around at someone's house, and I would have loved it! We've been absolutely spoiled. I just hated to see it all end.

Today, I also found out that the financial issues my district announced at the beginning of the year (but assured us would be cleared up, no problems) were repeated to us with the possibility of more serious results. In all likelihood, I will be served with a pink slip ... again. I've not been given a definite that papers will be served, but I think I'm seeing the handwriting on the wall.

I know my job isn't to wonder why but to rely on the fact that I was put here ... in this time ... in this place ... for a specific purpose. Yet, it's disheartening and scary and frustrating and maddening ... all at the same time. Having to say good-bye just made today that much harder.

Perhaps all the tears were really just an emotional release ... the vehicle my worry needed to come out. Who knows! All I know is that I hope it stays out ... and I hope I stay here. I'm having so much fun, and I love all the people I work with ...

Heavy sigh ...

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