GETTING YOUR HAND-WASHING ON
This afternoon, before we were to leave, I made an announcement to my kids.
"Ladies and gentleman, I need to have a heart to heart with you."
They all sat there with rapt attention.
"Please, please, please, please ... when you go into the bathroom, please just wash your hands. If there's no soap, scrub your hands under water, and then come back in here and get a squirt [that's what I refer to as getting ONE squirt of hand sanitizer]. Do you know that there are some people that don't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom? And you all know what sometimes gets on your hands when you go to the bathroom, right?"
They sat there giggling nervously.
"Yeah. Sometimes you get bathroom ick on your hands. And you know how I'm always telling you to keep your hands off the walls in the hallway?"
A collective head-nodding ensues.
"Well, my friend Mrs. Fisher used to explain it to her kids like this. Every time you run your hands along the hallway walls, you are rubbing off all the bathroom ick left there by the kid who doesn't wash his hands after he's done in the bathroom."
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"
"I know! And I know you've all seen a kid with their finger waaaaaay up in their nose, right?"
"GROOOOOOOSSSSS!"
"Well, you know what that kid does?"
A collective shaking of heads ensues.
"Well, that kid wipes his booger fingers all over the wall. Then you come by and pick it all up in your hands when you run your hands all over the walls!"
I'm beginning to hear moans and groans at this point.
"And I love you all, but I don't want to breathe in all your spit balls."
"WHAT?!?!?"
"Yeah, spit balls. See, every time you sneeze and don't cover your mouth, a million tiny, little spit balls go all over the place, and then I breathe them up, and then your germs, a bazillion of them, get breathed in too. That's just nasty, and like I said, I love you, but I don't love your spit balls."
Did that kid just puke in her mouth a little?
"And whenever you might need to sneeze in your hand .... and let's try not to. Let's try to sneeze in our shirts or in our elbows, but if you have to sneeze in your hands, please go get a squirt, cuz guess what happens when you touch your buddy after sneezing in your hand?"
"What?"
"All your bazillion germs start crawling all over your buddy looking for warm, damp places to hide ... warm, damp places like your nose and your mouth."
"OH NO!"
I sat back and let it sink in, and that's when one of my boys said, "Oh Miss Murray, I never took this serious before now!"
I think there are some Germaphobes in the making, I tell you!
[wiping my hands and smiling broadly] My job here is done.
"Ladies and gentleman, I need to have a heart to heart with you."
They all sat there with rapt attention.
"Please, please, please, please ... when you go into the bathroom, please just wash your hands. If there's no soap, scrub your hands under water, and then come back in here and get a squirt [that's what I refer to as getting ONE squirt of hand sanitizer]. Do you know that there are some people that don't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom? And you all know what sometimes gets on your hands when you go to the bathroom, right?"
They sat there giggling nervously.
"Yeah. Sometimes you get bathroom ick on your hands. And you know how I'm always telling you to keep your hands off the walls in the hallway?"
A collective head-nodding ensues.
"Well, my friend Mrs. Fisher used to explain it to her kids like this. Every time you run your hands along the hallway walls, you are rubbing off all the bathroom ick left there by the kid who doesn't wash his hands after he's done in the bathroom."
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"
"I know! And I know you've all seen a kid with their finger waaaaaay up in their nose, right?"
"GROOOOOOOSSSSS!"
"Well, you know what that kid does?"
A collective shaking of heads ensues.
"Well, that kid wipes his booger fingers all over the wall. Then you come by and pick it all up in your hands when you run your hands all over the walls!"
I'm beginning to hear moans and groans at this point.
"And I love you all, but I don't want to breathe in all your spit balls."
"WHAT?!?!?"
"Yeah, spit balls. See, every time you sneeze and don't cover your mouth, a million tiny, little spit balls go all over the place, and then I breathe them up, and then your germs, a bazillion of them, get breathed in too. That's just nasty, and like I said, I love you, but I don't love your spit balls."
Did that kid just puke in her mouth a little?
"And whenever you might need to sneeze in your hand .... and let's try not to. Let's try to sneeze in our shirts or in our elbows, but if you have to sneeze in your hands, please go get a squirt, cuz guess what happens when you touch your buddy after sneezing in your hand?"
"What?"
"All your bazillion germs start crawling all over your buddy looking for warm, damp places to hide ... warm, damp places like your nose and your mouth."
"OH NO!"
I sat back and let it sink in, and that's when one of my boys said, "Oh Miss Murray, I never took this serious before now!"
I think there are some Germaphobes in the making, I tell you!
[wiping my hands and smiling broadly] My job here is done.
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