Saturday, December 06, 2008

AND THIS WOULD BE WHY I LEAVE THESE SORTS OF THINGS UP TO THE PROFESSIONALS

I got a bug up my butt about this growing mustache and goatee that hitting middle 30s seems to have encouraged on my face.

"Why don't you try waxing your upper lip and chin?" My stylist Susan said. She and I are the same age. "I do, and it doesn't come back in stubbly or anything."

Today, I'd had it! I was sick of looking at the dark hairs, and so I got out the "store-bought" wax and nuked it in the microwave, hell-bent on fixing these unwanted facial hairs.

I should have known I was heading for trouble when I spilled a modicum of the hot wax on my antique, enamel cabinet top. The glob of goop dried immediately, and it doesn't seem to have a mind to ever come up off the cabinet.

It just went down hill from there.

The directions clearly said NOT to get the wax on your lips. Well, I'm not sure how that's accomplished because I managed to wax one half of the left side of my mouth! I'm sure, with a bit of strategic maneuvering, I can get food into that right side of my mouth. It'll just look like I've suffered a mini-stroke for a few more days.

From there, I got a thick coating of wax on my upper lip, but then I couldn't get it off! I ripped and tugged, and after having the feeling pretty much leave my lip, I managed to get most of it off, with the minor exception of the little beads of wax intertwined in the very hairs I was trying to wax off! Rubbing alcohol seemed appropriate at that juncture, but a little warning about rubbing alcohol, it stings when you rub it vigorously on the layer below the one you just ripped off. The analgesic lotion they provide didn't give me much relief after that.

On top of it all, I got six out of my ten fingers stuck together with that glue they pass off as wax, and it was nothing short of finger nail polish and a small miracle that got that hot mess off.

I would like to report that my upper lip and chin are hair-free and looking good. However, I have a fine, line of hair just at my lip line that is still there ... refuses to come off, and on closer inspection, the chin hair I wanted plucked in the first place, still rests happily from the over-large pore there.

And men think they have it rough ...





3 comments:

Elly Gilbert said...

I so wish you would have video taped this and posted it on You Tube.

Megan said...

Oh it was a sight to behold, let me just tell you.

Amy Auel said...

just wait until you hit the big 4-0! it doesn't get much better, sister...