Friday, March 18, 2011

Cross-eyed

Between the nice, warm weather and the fact that SPRING BREAK begins at 2:31 p.m. on Monday, March 21st, the my days have been INSANE!

I feel like I need to be asking random folks I meet in my various travels, "Excuse me, sir. Are my eyes crossed?!"

Apparently, we, the Earth, are to be the closest we've been to the moon in many, many years as far as the moon's orbit is concerned. The SUPERMOON, as they are calling it, will officially occur tomorrow; so, if you want to be wowed out of your flip-flops or whatever, go check it out. It's suppose to be HUGE!

Now, full moons are a phenomenon that "weirds" school children out. Scientists seem to think that crazy behavior being tied to a full moon is a bunch of horse manure. Clearly, CLEARLY, these fine scientific minds have spent TOO much time in a sterile lab and NOT ENOUGH time in an elementary school building. If they had spent time hanging with the elementary peeps, a few things would come occur.
  1. We would witness adults with Ivy League educations running, screaming, from the building.
  2. Those aforementioned Ivy Leaguers would have patches of hair missing from their heads.

Behavior IS affected by the phases of the moon; I'd bet my last dollar on it!

Wait! I used that dollar on coffee the other day. At any rate ...

Scientists at NASA have spent a lot of time debunking the theory that this SUPERMOON has been the cause of the terrible tragedy in Japan (Earthquakes and tsunamis and such). Okay, I might give them that one, but how do they explain the fighting, bickering, screaming, hollering, NON-STOP CHATTERING, head-spinning, green bile projectile vomiting (besides the nasty stomach flu going around) that I've witnessed this week?

Huh?

Explain thyself, oh Mr. Scientist Man/Ms. Scientist Woman!

I am self-medicating, and by that I mean, I'm dragging myself to the nearest Starbucks, flopping on the counter, and sobbing my drink order to them.

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